


You're Only As Lost As You Wanna Be

by fleurlb, MissMeggie



Series: Lost Verse [1]
Category: Friday Night Lights, Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Co-Written, Crossover, F/M, Gen, Love Triangle, May/December Relationship, prospecting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 12:47:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 41
Words: 66,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4392446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleurlb/pseuds/fleurlb, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMeggie/pseuds/MissMeggie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tim finds his way to Charming...Jax finds his way to Julie Taylor...And they all end up lost in thier own contradictions! Can they find a way out? Read & see! Co-written with Fleurlb! end reposted to make the story work</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

AN: this our attempt at a soa/fnl X-crossover set pre to early season 2 for SOA and for FNL its post season 4! which we know hasn't happened yet but anyawys... this also mine and Fleur 27's first co-write together so be gentle if you can! We own nothing at all thanks! please review~Meghan and Fleur 27

 

When Tim pulled into the parking lot at Teller-Morrow, he'd been on the road for three days. His truck was dusty, he was thirsty, and he hoped that the motorcycle was as good as it had been advertised on Craig's List. Because it would really piss him off he had to drive back to Dillon empty handed.

Tim drove up past a low-slung cinderblock building and parked his truck off to the side, out of the way of the mechanics and the motorcycles. As he climbed out of his truck, he looked around and took things in, getting a feel for the place. He saw a familiar logo on the back wall of the building and smiled to himself.

Tim took the folded up printout out of his hand and walked toward the garage. Two mechanics were working inside the dimly lit space while another guy shuffled through papers at a workbench.

Tim brushed the hair out his face and stepped into the garage.

"Is one of y'all Jackson Teller?" he asked, looking around.

The blonde guy turned away from the workbench, a cigarette dangling from him mouth. He looked hard at Tim. "Who wants to know?"

"I'm Tim - I called you about the motorcycle you're selling," said Tim, his deep voice projecting more authority and comfort than he actually felt.

"Shit, man, I'm sorry. I forgot you were coming today. I'm Jax." The guy pulled the cigarette from his mouth with his left hand and walked over to Tim. He offered his right hand and Tim shook it firmly.

"I'm probably a little early, for once in my life. Traffic after LA wasn't as bad as I thought."

"You drove up here from LA?" asked the older guy who was working on a bike right near the door. He had short, curly-ish black hair and icy blue eyes that seemed to look right through Tim.

"No, Texas."

"Shit. How long'd that take you?" asked Jax as he motioned for Tim to follow him.

"Three days."

Jax led him over to the row of parked motorcycles and wheeled one out. It was even better looking than Tim had hoped. Jax handed him a set of keys.

"Go on and take it for a test ride. See how it feels."

Tim sat on the motorcycle and started the engine, listening carefully as it revved up. He pulled away slowly and took a left turn out of the parking lot. As he drove away, he realized he didn't know the area or where he was going, so he decided a simple out and back route would be best.

He smiled, feeling the wind in his hair. It reminded him of long-ago afternoons, when Uncle Terry, his mother's brother, would visit and would take Tim for a ride. Uncle Terry had stopped by a few times after his mother took off, but Walt's drunken harassment and attempts to fight with Terry put an end to the visits.

Tim rode for several miles, speeding the bike up and then slowing it down, listening to the engine. He tested the brakes and did a few turns to test the steering, always careful to turn right back around so that he stayed on the same main road. When he was satisfied that the bike was pretty much as advertised, he turned around and headed back to the shop.

Tim pulled into the parking lot, eased the motorcycle into the original spot, and got off. As he walked toward the garage, Jax came out to meet him. His walk, with its casual swagger, put Tim in mind of a lion strolling across the plains, secure in his territory and his place at the top of the food chain.

"So, what'd you think?"

"Pretty good. Handles real nice. Just one thing though - it's a little growly, don't you think? Makes me think that a bearing might need to be replaced, and maybe some gears as well."

Jax nodded. "Yeah, it's priced accordingly though. Seriously, you're not going to find this bike in a better condition at this price."

"Still, parts that'll work on an older bike could be a pain in the ass to find. Is this why you're selling it?"

"Nah, I'm selling it because it was my project but now I got a son, so I don't have enough time to work on it. I can give you the number for the parts dealer I use. He's reasonable and will get you the parts you need, no trouble."

"I'll buy it then," said Tim as he pulled out his wallet and extracted enough money to cover the price.

As Jax counted the money, Tim looked around, his eyes taking in the 'Help Wanted' sign in the office window.

"You wouldn't be interested in staying up here, would you? We could use a guy who could listen to engines the way you do."

"You listen, they talk to you," said Tim with a grin.

"That's what I'm always saying."

Tim shrugged, almost to himself, like he'd just answered a question only he could hear. "You know, I don't have anything waiting for me in Texas, really. I wouldn't mind working here."

"C'mon into the office and fill out an application."

Tim followed Jax into a small office that had papers and a few pin-up girls taped to the wall. Jax sat down at the desk and started rummaging through the the desk drawers, so Tim took a seat on the couch. The office was cramped and smelled like cigarette smoke and motor oil.

"Here it is," said Jax finally, putting the application on a clipboard. He handed it and a pen over to Tim, then leaned back in his chair.

Tim took the clipboard and began to print his name in small, careful letters.

"You want one?" asked Jax, holding out a pack of cigarettes.

Tim shook his head. "Nah, I'm fine. Thanks."

"Look, when you get to the part about references, if you know anybody in a motorcycle club that can vouch for you, that would really help."

"Yeah, my uncle was in your San Antonio charter, but I haven't seen him since...well, for a really long time. He didn't get on so good with my dad."

"He still alive?"

"I don't know," said Tim as he bent his head down over the clipboard.

"Anything more recent than that?"

"I've done a few favors for a guy. I can't remember who he's with, but I can give you his name and the number of the bar where he drinks every night."

"That'll work."

The door swung open with a burst of air that rattled the papers. Tim found himself looking up at an older woman who had dark hair with blonde streaks. She was pretty but Tim could tell before she even said a word that she'd have a sharp tongue and hard edges.

"What's this, Jax?" she asked, leaning in the doorway and looking down at Tim like he was a rare insect on the sidewalk.

"This is Tim. Don't scare him. He's thinking about working here."

"Hi, Tim. I'm Gemma. Can you hand me that page off the fax machine there."

Tim did as she asked.

"You ever talk?" she asked him.

"No, ma'am, not much actually."

"Ma'am... I think I'm gonna like this one, Jax," she said before she left.

"You know why I let you take the bike for a test ride without getting any collateral off of you?" asked Jax.

Tim felt confused, like he'd stumbled into the middle of the wrong conversation. "I don't know. Because I looked like an honest guy?"

"No. Because you didn't look stupid."

"Okay," said Tim, even more unsure where this was headed.

"That's my mom. Don't get any ideas."

Tim laughed. "No worries. I learned my lesson on that one the hard way."

The two men lapsed into an easy silence as Tim returned to filling out the application. He wasn't sure what to put for an address, since Dillon wasn't exactly within easy commuting distance. Work history was easy enough as were the references, since Jax had given him a clue about what was expected there. The application asked for three references, so he put Coach Taylor down on the third line.

The door into the garage opened and a man with a scarred face stuck his head in.

The only words that Tim understood were "Jackie boy." Other than that, Tim wasn't even sure he was speaking English. Jax seemed to understand the guy though.

"Does he speak English?"

Jax laughed. "Yeah, but not as we know it. That's Chibs. He's from Scotland and is real solid - you'll like him."

Tim handed the application back to Jax, who looked it over and nodded.

"You didn't put in an address."

"Well, I guess if I get the job, I'll have to find a place to stay. Otherwise, I'm heading back to Texas."

"Right. Look, we got a rental apartment a few blocks away that's sitting empty. Short term, you can stay there. I'm going to take this over to the boss. Be back in a few minutes."

Tim stretched his legs out and folded his arms. He closed his eyes and let his mind go blank. He realized this was an opportunity for a fresh start. The last year and a half since his high school graduation had been pretty miserable. It was weird not being a Dillon Panther anymore, like his life had no purpose.

Every day was the same - working at the garage, drinking at Smitty's, feeling like an unwelcome guest in Billy's house, dreading having to talk to Mindy, avoiding the baby. The only bright spot had been the summer when Julie Taylor was working at Riggins Riggs as the receptionist. She was fun and easy to talk to. And, unlike Billy, she never ragged on him for dropping out of college.

The idea of a fresh start in a new town where no one would judge him by his last name was appealing. Tim found himself hoping that he'd get this job, hoping for it more than he had ever let himself hope for anything.

It felt like days passed before Jax returned.

"Job's yours if you want it."

"For real?" asked Tim.

"Yeah, for real," replied Jax with a smile.

Tim allowed himself a small smile as he nodded his head. "Yeah, I want it."

"Good. I'll show you where you'll be staying and you can start tomorrow morning."

Later that evening, when Tim was sitting alone in a sparsely furnished apartment, he pulled out his cell phone. He knew he should call Billy, tell him what was going on. But he didn't really want to talk to his brother, so he called the garage.

"Hi, Billy, it's me. I'm fine...it's just...I'm thinking I need a bit of a change, so I'm going to be away for a few weeks at least. Nothing to worry about...we both know things haven't been going that great with me at the garage and I think this'll be best for both of us. I'll talk to you soon."

He disconnected the call and closed his eyes. It felt like the right decision, like everything he'd been missing and everything he'd been looking for could be right here in Charming.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Diclaimer applies! please hit that lil green button!

 

Jax walked into the clubhouse with Tim's application and found Clay standing behind the bar, pouring Bobby a drink. He slid the clipboard over to Clay.

"What's this?"

"An application from a mechanic. I think he can solve a lot of problems for us."

"And what problems might those be?" asked Clay,

"You know we're short-handed with Opie gone. Lowell isn't exactly reliable and Dog got picked up again last night in Lodi for fighting."

Clay put on his reading glasses and looked over the application. "Kid doesn't even live in California."

"I already thought about that - we got that rental just sitting empty. He can move in there short term."

"So, what, you already got long-term plans for this guy?"

Jax smiled. "Yeah. I'm thinking he'd make a good prospect."

"We already got a prospect," said Bobby.

"Yeah, well, I said Tim would make a good prospect."

"I heard that," called Half-Sac from the other side of the clubhouse, where he was mopping the floor.

Clay turned his attention back to clipboard. "He's got an uncle in San Antonio, that's a decent start. Bring this over to Juice, have him check the references and run a computer search, see what it comes up with."

Jax carried the clipboard over to Juice, who took it without comment and started typing with one hand while picking up the phone to make a call with the other. Jax headed back to the bar, grabbed a beer, then sat down to wait.

About twenty minutes later, Juice brought a stack of printouts to the bar.

"What'd you find?" asked Clay.

"Uncle hasn't seen him in about ten years, but said that he was a good kid, scrappy, loved football and motorcycles. Terry is the mother's brother and when she split, the dad told him not to come by anymore. He said he'd swing by, talk to Tim's brother Billy and make sure the kid is legit. He's too young to be a fed anyway."

"What did the computer turn up?"

"He played high school football, varsity fullback starting his freshman year. Sophomore year, the quarterback got paralyzed the first game, but the team still managed to win State. Junior year was a wash and he spent as much time kicked off the team as on it. He gets back on Senior year, team goes to State again but loses."

"Then what?"

"Gets a full ride to San Antonio State. Here's where it gets interesting," said Juice with a goofy grin.

"Should I make popcorn or are you just going to hurry the hell up and tell me?" barked Clay.

"Right," said Juice, squirming as he rushed to tell the rest of the story. "Tim goes down to San Antonio State, starts the first game at fullback, but gets most of the carries and breaks a school record for rushing in a single game. Second game, the quarterback goes down on a nasty hit, loses the ball and is slow to get up.

"No one knows for sure what happened, but it seems like the Coach was trying to force the quarterback to go out and keep playing, even though the doc said the kid probably had a concussion."

"You getting to a point soon? Because me and Clay, we're not getting any younger," said Bobby.

"Sorry. The point is that Tim took off his helmet, punched the coach when he tried to stop him, walked off the field and dropped out of school the next day. Been working in his brother's garage ever since."

Clay looked up over his glasses at Jax, who shrugged.

"You ask me, sounds like the kid is loyal and not afraid to stand up for what he believes in," said Jax, lighting a cigarette.

"You ask me," replied Clay, "sounds like the kid is a hot-head with a punching problem."

"To-may-toe, to-mah-toe," said Bobby.

"The kid could really play. I was watching some of the clips on YouTube and it sometimes took four or five guys to bring him down," said Juice.

"What are you thinking, Jax, muscle?" asked Clay.

Jax shrugged and took a drag on his cigarette, waiting until he exhaled to speak. "Every club can use more muscle."

Clay looked at Bobby, who gave a little nod.

"Fine. He can start as a mechanic. We give him a few weeks and then think about whether or not he has the makings of a prospect," said Clay.

"He does," said Jax, grounding out his cigarette.

"Well, if he does now, he still will in a few weeks," said Clay sharply, his eyes boring holes through Jax.

Jax stood up and walked out to give Tim the good news.

Tim's first few days at Teller-Morrow went even better than Jax had expected. He was quiet, but got along well with everyone. He wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty and could probably dead-lift more than anyone in the club.

He had an easy confidence about him, a way of taking in the world and just shrugging things off that Jax liked.

On Thursday afternoon, Jax pulled Tim aside.

"Look, we got Church tomorrow night and then there's a party here. Plan on working a few hours late with Half-Sac and then coming over to the clubhouse when the party gets going."

Confusion flickered briefly on Tim's face, then he nodded.

Tig and Chibs, overhearing the conversation, stepped up.

"You know what Church is?" asked Tig.

Tim shook his head slowly. "No. But I figure if I need to know, you'll tell me."

Tig laughed and slapped Tim on the back. "I wasn't sure about you, Abecrombie, but I think you're going to do just fine around here."

"Abecrombie?" asked Jax. "That's what you come up with?"

"Look at him, Jax, he looks like he stepped right out of one of them catalogs. Abercrombie. Definitely," replied Tig.

"Sorry, Timmy Boy, looks like this one's going to stick," said Chibs.

Tim shrugged and looked down, his hair falling into his face. "I suppose it could've been a whole lot worse."

"Honestly," said Jax, "I had my money on something like Pretty Boy."

"Thanks a bunch" said Tim, giving Jax a playful elbow in the ribs before returning to the motorcycle he'd been working on.

"I like that one," said Chibs.

"So do I," added Tig, a note of disbelief in his voice.

"Good. Remember that in a couple weeks when Clay asks you what you think of the kid as a prospect," said Jax with a smile.

Friday night and the clubhouse was thick with people and smoke. Jax made his way through the crowd, headed toward the bar where Tim was sitting back, drinking a beer with a dazed look on his face.

"You doing okay there?" asked Jax, sitting next to Tim.

"Yeah. Fine. Kinda reminds me of a Panthers' party, only fewer clothes and a lot more smoke."

Jax laughed. "So, how're you liking working here so far?"

"Good. Glad I stayed."

"We are too. You could have a future here, you know. Think about it."

Tim nodded.

"Don't look now, but I think you're about to get your pick of the finest Charming has to offer," said Jax.

Tim's forehead creased in confusion, but it was short lived as three women stepped up in front of them.

"Hey Jax, aren't you going to introduce us to your new friend?" asked Emily.

"Sure thing, Darlin'. Ladies, this is Abercrombie. And this is Emily, Ima, and Lyla."

"Lyla?" A shadow crossed over Tim's face.

"Well, that's her name but I'm sure you can call her whatever you want," said Jax as he stood up. "I leave you to get acquainted."

As he walked away, Jax stole a look over his shoulder and could see the women leaning forward and flirting with Tim. Another fringe benefit of having the guy around - he could draw off some of the women who were always following Jax around. Give Tara fewer things to worry about. Yes, hiring Tim was starting to look like one of Jax's better decisions


	3. Chapter 3

AN: We own nothing enjoy and review!

 

The phone would not stop ringing. Whoever it was had better prepare to die, thought Julie Taylor. She had a pounding headache from the one too many wine coolers she'd had in celebration of acing her Nietzsche exam with her roommate Sadie.

Julie's arm snaked out from under her warm cocoon of cover to grab the offensively noisy device.

"Hello," she croaked, expecting her mother.

"Julie," his voice was almost apologetic and needy. "It's Billy...Billy Riggins."

"Um, hi," she swallowed. It felt like she had cotton shoved in her mouth and throat.

"Hi."

"What can I do for you, Billy? Wait... how'd you get this number?"

"Coach Taylor."

Great, she thought. Her parents knew, so even if she wanted to, she couldn't refuse his request.

"How can I help?" She smiled into the phone for good measure as she got out of bed. She switched her cell to the other ear and heard Billy exhale carefully.

Crap Tim had done something, she thought. She searched for Tylenol. A thought struck her and her heart stuttered in her chest for reasons she didn't want to ponder.

"Has he hurt himself?" she asked.

"No, nothing like that."

She found the bottle and spilled two pills into her hand while balancing the phone on her shoulder.

"Then what?" She swallowed the pills dry with a wince.

"He has it in his head that he's going to stay down there in California and work in a shop. Something called Teller-Morrow Auto Shop. Anyways..."

"Wait Tim's in Cali?"

"Some place called Charming. It's supposed to be close to you."

"Yeah it's about forty-five minutes."

"Well I need you to make him come home! Get this cockamamie idea out of his head. Ok? I need him here. Just... Just make him come home ok?"

"Billy, you can't MAKE Tim do anything, you know that. I'll try, I just... Tim and I aren't... he stopped listening to me a long time ago. You know what? Never mind. Just don't expect miracles."

Charming meant one thing to Julie: Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club. Lodi was a small place and she knew they were the surrounding area's avenging leather-clad angels. She knew Tim. They would draw him in like a moth to a flame. Why she actually cared enough to drag him home at Billy's request was beyond her.

Maybe it was because no matter how hard she tried to forget their little summertime tryst, she couldn't. The feel of his lips on hers. The taste of his tongue and the feel of her body being pressed into the worn leather couch in the office at Riggins Riggs. The weight and feel of him when he pushed inside her as twilight fell outside on that June day stayed with her. He stayed with her.

That's why she was pulling into Teller-Morrow now. Because she couldn't shake him. She pulled in parking her car. She got out and grabbed the nearest greasy-looking dude.

"Is Tim Riggins here?_"

"Abercrombie, another sweet butt lookin'for ya, this one's a looker too," said a guy with long hair and a pot belly.

Tim strolled out from the cinder block building, shading eyes. Looking so good it should have been illegal by Julie's estimation.

" That's no sweet butt, Bobby, that's Taylor."

"Riggs," Julie said by way of greeting.

"Jules..."

Then he did something shocking and Un-Tim-like: he walked over and hugged her. She kept her hands firmly in the back pockets of her jeans. He pulled her flush against him sing-songing her name, Ju-lie. It made her smirk.

Her hands found their way to his biceps . His chin rested on top of her head.

"Whatcha doin' here?" he asked conversationally, making no move to let go of her. She felt many stares and suddenly realized he was marking his territory.

"I was just in the neighborhood. Thinking of buying a bike, actually."

"Sure you were you," said Tim with a grin. Who sent you, Billy or Coach?"

"Kinda both."

"I'm not going home Taylor, but I will introduce you to my friends." He grabbed her hand, dragging her forward.

He leaned down and whispered in her ear. "We can be anything we want here. We don't have to be the coach's daughter and the town bad boy. We can be us."

She sighed. This was going to be harder than she thought.

"They sure do look like an interesting bunch."

Julie sat down on a milk crate that served as a chair in Tim's apartment.

"You need furniture, Tim."

"I have ramen or we can order pizza?"

"Pizza, please."

"Yeah. I know, veggies only on your side."

Julie looked over at the TV, which appeared to be showing a half-scrambled porn channel. Lovely. She picked up the clicker. News, a soap opera, cartoons.

"Yo Gabba Gabba rocks if you're high enough," he told her as he sprawled out on the floor in front of her.

"I missed you, Taylor. I meant to come by your college I've just been so busy. How are you liking it The LLAC?"

"It's good I love the journalism department and all the art classes I'm taking._"

"What kinda art?"

"Pottery, metal sculpting. I can weld now."

He smiled in that boyish way. "A regular Rosie The Riveter."

"Different thing entirely, Tim, but yes."

"Listen, I know we ended things with a no-harm no-foul just-for-fun policy. I didn't follow you here, I swear, but I'm glad you landed in my lap. I'd like to change that policy to a more exclusive one."

There was a knock at the door.

"The pizza." He kissed her chastely then went to get the pizza.

Julie had felt him staring all week. Jax Teller seemed to defy all of Julie's expectations. She couldn't get a read on him. He was so guarded he may as well have an electric fence around him. She finished wiping down the bar before turning to him.

"Jax, hi!"

"Hey, Pixie. Who said you could be in here?" He leaned on her clean bar. Grrr, she thought.

"Pixie?" she asked.

"You know, cause you're so tiny and are always fluttering around here somewhere."

"I don't mean to be in the way. I'm just trying to help Tim out and still manage to spend time together."

"You aren't in the way, Pixie. I like lookin'at ya!" he said with a wink before walking away.

In the smoke-filled club, Julie read a compilation of poetry while nursing a single beer. Jax sat down on the arm of her chair, invading her space.

"You're smart, Pixie. I like smart."

"What makes you think I'm smart, Jackson?" She looked up from her book with a smile.

"You're reading poetry at a party."

"I do that because I'm nerdy not because I'm smart... Besides, everybody likes poetry. You just have to find your poet."

"Who would be my poet?"

"I'm betting you'd like John Donne. He's dark and cynical."

"Read me some."

"Ok." She flipped through the book until she found the right page. "This is from 'The Curse'."

And may he feel no touch 

Of conscience, but of fame, and be 

Anguish'd, not that 'twas sin, but that 'twas she; 

Or may he for her virtue reverence 

One that hates him only for impotence, 

And equal traitors be she and his sense. 

"So his conscience and his woman are his downfall...very observant. What about Tim? Who is his poet?"

"Walt Whitman...simple... straight-forward... honest... very Tim."

She flipped a few pages and read.

Of a youth who loves me, and whom I love, silently approaching, and

seating himself near, that he may hold me by the hand;

A long while, amid the noises of coming and going-of drinking and

oath and smutty jest,

There we two, content, happy in being together, speaking little,

perhaps not a word

Julie looked up from the book. "That's from 'The Glimpse'."

"That says a lot about your relationship," said Jax.

"I guess." Julie shrugged and looked around the room.

"Now, your girl," said Julie, nodding at Tara, "is a Pablo Neruda girl. Read her the last two stanzas of Sonnet 17. She'll melt like butter."

"Clay?"

"Edgar Allan Poe."

"'Quote the raven nevermore,'" Jax smirked. "What about Half-Sac?"

"Dr. Suess." Julie smiled and Jax felt his heart falter but he covered it with a laugh.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: We own nothing enjoy and review...

 

"Come on, Tim. Teach me, please," said Julie, leaning forward and giving him her best puppy dog eyes.

"No."

"But if you're going to do this whole biker thing, shouldn't your girlfriend know how to ride?"

Tim stood staring at the ground with his hands on hips, in what Julie recognized as his frustrated football player stance.

"Jules, look…" He looked up "I'm not teaching you to ride."

"Why not?"

"Because I love you and I refuse to be responsible for anyone but myself on the bike... Plus your dad is kinda mean and occasionally crazy, so I'd rather not die because I gave you road rash."

Julie was quiet for a second. "You love me?"

"Yeah. Is that gonna be a problem?"

"No, no not all. You were just so nonchalant in saying it that you caught me off guard is all…but I love you too, you know. Are you sure there's nothing I can do to persuade you to teach me how to ride?" She smiled then slyly sidled forward so she could kiss him.

"Not a thing. That was a real nice try though." He smirked then walked back into the shop, leaving Julie to pout.

Julie looked up and saw Jax leaning in the doorway, an amused smile on his face. He walked over to her slowly, then leaned against the chair Tim had just vacated.

"Hey Pixie I'll teach you to ride…but first you need to change…Make sure you cover up as much of that pretty skin as you can." He said with a wink.

"And how does Tim not find out?" Julie smirked

"You meet me in lot behind Lumpy's in thirty minutes and wear boots."

When Jax rolled up, Julie was leaning against her old blue Celica. She was wearing too-tight jeans, a white T-shirt, red leather motorcycle jacket and black suede spike-heeled boots. Neil Young's "Cinnamon Girl" strolled through his mind. She took his breath with her clean innocent untouched beauty.

"Leave her alone," he told himself but he knew he wouldn't… Julie's voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"Are these boots okay? They're the only ones I have at Tim's."

He smiled as he got off the bike, "Sure they'll do."

"Now, sling yourself up there and get nice and comfortable before we start and oh yeah put this on." He handed her a pearlescent pink helmet.

"You've got to be kiddin' me" she sighed as she put it on.

"What? Thought Abercrombie might make a Harley girl outta you so I made preparations. You're just lucky it doesn't have Tinkerbell on it."

"Tinkerbell?"

"You know queen of the pixies."

Julie looked at him as though he had two heads.

"What? I liked Peter Pan as a kid."

"Uh huh." Julie looked at him skeptically.

"Comfy yet?"

"As I'll ever be."

Jax swung onto the bike behind her, his left hand finding a home on her hip.

"Ok, your right handle bar is your gas and front brake. Your left is your clutch…always rev a little as you switch gears makes for a smoother ride. Got that?"

"Right is gas and front brake, left is clutch, rev when switching gears," said Julie.

"Good. Put your left foot on that peg but don't move yet that's your gear shifter and there's rear brake peddle see it?"

His face was close to hers his warm breath fanned a cross her cheek. Julie nodded.

"Ok and the thing to remember when shifting - you lift up only for first gear and press down for the other five… I've got us in neutral so.." He kicked up the kickstand and leaned forward to put his hands on hers.

"Release the clutch easy and rev a little at the same time."

Julie did as instructed and they rolled forward a little jerkily.

She giggled gleefully. "Cool."

"Yeah you can go a little faster Pixie." She could hear his smirk

They went a little further.

"Good now, shift…good girl," he said, his hand nestled around her waist now.

"When you brake at the stop sign, use the front brake first then the back."

"Crap I have to turn."

"You'll do fine, Julie."

Soon she got the hang of it and was riding circles. Very slow circles but still circles.

"Can I go show Tim? That I'm more capable than he thought….I'll go slow."

"Sure, I'll just drive your car behind you… you can't kill yourself half a block from TM doin' ten miles an hour."

Jax drove behind Julie in her tiny car, watching as she meticulously maneuvered his bike, up until she was just outside Teller Morrow. Then, she gunned it before stopping smooth as silk in front of Abercrombie. He wished he could see her smile but watching Abercrombie's face war between attraction and irritation was entertaining.

Jax parked her little clown car and got out. Julie shut off the bike, putting down the kickstand she got off. She took off her helmet, shaking out her loosely curled blonde hair. Jax couldn't take his eyes off her.

"Jules, I told you…"

"Hey you said you wouldn't teach me not that I couldn't learn." She turned to find Jax's gaze on her she smiled slightly before trading keys with him. She kissed his cheek.

"Thanks, Teller."

"Anytime, Pixie."

Julie felt Jax's eyes on her as she walked toward the club house with Tim. She thought that maybe Jax was attracted to her, but then maybe it was more a big-brother thing going on. She found it unnerving either way though she knew she shouldn't. He seemed like a good enough guy. And she was with Tim now anyway.

"I would say I'm sorry for going behind your back and doing it anyway but I'm really not because I looked hot doing it." Julie teased Tim.

"Really?"

"Really, just ask Teller."

"Or you could show me." He held open the club door for her

"I could." She kissed Tim as she passed through the door. He playfully popped her jean-clad derriere. She giggled.

"Well if your outfit is any indication I am in trouble." Tim murmurred.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: We own nothing here and are only doing this for fun.

A/N: Hope you're enjoying the story. Thanks, Meg and Fleur.

Friday night and Church was nearly over. Bobby went through the financial stuff and nodded at Clay.

"Any other business?" asked Clay, gavel in hand and poised over the table.

"Yeah. I want to sponsor Abecrombie as a prospect," said Jax as he ground out his cigarette in the already overflowing ashtray.

Clay looked around the table. "Anybody have anything to say about this?"

Tig shrugged. "He seems like a good, solid kid. I don't have a problem with him."

The rest of the guys nodded in agreement.

"All right, then. Jax, you talk to him about it, make sure he knows what he's getting himself into."

Jax nodded, then Clay banged down the gavel and the guys all headed out to the clubhouse for the evening's festivities. Jax scanned the room, but didn't see Abecrombie or his girlfriend anywhere.

"You guys know where he is?" Jax asked Tig and Juice as he joined them at the bar.

Juice grinned. "Yeah. Julie forced him to go to the ballet in San Jose."

Tig shook his head in mock disgust. "See that, man. If I'd known about that I'd never have spoken up for the kid. The ballet. What could possibly convince a man to sit through that crap for three hours?"

"Julie Taylor," said Juice, like that explained everything. "I bet Julie could get just about any guy to do just about anything."

Jax's eyes narrowed and Juice put up his hands. "I mean that in the most respectful, nicest way. That girl is something else."

"She is," mumbled Jax as he walked away.

Late Saturday afternoon, Tim woke up to a pounding at his door. After the ballet, which hadn't been as terrible as he'd feared, he stayed at Julie's apartment in Lodi, but neither of them had gotten much sleep. Around nine, she'd sent him home, insisting she had to get some school work done before she got kicked out of school.

Tim had grudgingly agreed and gone home, where he'd laid down on the couch that Julie had convinced him to buy at a garage sale. It was comfortable and even though he'd only been intending to rest his eyes, he'd fallen asleep.

"Yeah," he shouted, hoping that the pounding would at least stop. Tim peeled himself off the couch and opened the door, slightly surprised to find Jax Teller standing there.

"Did I wake you up?" asked Jax.

Tim shrugged and ran his hand through his hair. "Sort of, I guess. Didn't mean to fall asleep."

"Well, put on your boots, you and me are going for a ride."

It didn't sound like a request, so Tim did as instructed. The day was chilly, so he pulled on a Panthers hooded sweatshirt and put his jeans jacket on over it. He followed Jax outside, hoping that his bike would start and that he had enough gas to go wherever it was Jax had in mind.

The bike started on the second try and then he was following Jax, who was riding with the speed and confidence of someone who knew the roads like the inside of his own house. Tim wasn't quite as comfortable yet, but he was able to keep up.

They rode for almost an hour, then Jax pulled off onto a twisty dirt road. A few minutes later, they came to a clearing that had a few picnic tables and a view of the mountains. Tim hoped he could find the place again, since he knew Julie would like it there.

Tim dropped the kickstand on his bike and got off, then pulled off his helmet. He'd gotten a helmet just like the other guys had, even though he thought the helmets looked a little dumb. He'd also gotten a knife for his belt, even though he had no idea when he'd ever have to use it. Julie had raised an eyebrow at his choices, then muttered something about peer pressure and dropped the subject.

Jax walked over to a picnic table and took a seat on the top, resting his feet on a bench. Tim followed suit, careful to leave enough space between them.

The sun was shining and it felt much warmer than it had at his apartment. Tim pulled off his jacket and set it on the table next to him. He rested his elbows on his knees and leaned forward.

Jax lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. "So, the club would like to invite you to prospect, if you're interested."

Tim looked back, trying to keep his face as neutral as possible. "What does that mean, exactly?"

"Means you'd be a prospect, just like Half-Sac. You'd have to do a lot of shit work and spend time getting to know the guys, develop a trust. Then, eventually, if you don't run screaming in the other direction first, the club will ask you to patch in and you'd become a full member with responsibilities."

"Responsibilities?" asked Tim with a raised eyebrow.

"You know. Dues, meetings, club business, shit like that."

Tim nodded slowly.

"Don't tell me now - you should think about it for a couple of days."

"Okay," said Tim.

"If you agree and it doesn't work out, it's no big deal. But I want you to think about this carefully. Because I'm sponsoring you and if you're in, I want you all in. The club has to be the most important thing in your life."

"I'll think about it, then," said Tim. He stood up and stretched, then pulled off his sweatshirt, barely noticing when his t-shirt rode up with it.

"What's the six for?" asked Jax.

Tim extracted his sweatshirt from his arms and pulled down his shirt, stealing a quick glance down at the tattoo on his ribs. It was just a number six, in blue with yellow trim, about three inches long.

"Nothing," said Tim, looking down.

"Bullshit," replied Jax. "You don't get inked there because it means nothing. The only reason to put something there is because you want to remember. And you will remember because it hurts like a bitch going on the ribs like that."

Tim sighed and brushed his hair off his face. "My best friend, Jay, that was his number."

"He's the kid that got paralyzed," said Jax. Tim registered that it was a statement. Not a question.

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

"C'mon, Abecrombie, you think we ask you to be a prospect without doing a little research on you first? It's our job to know shit like that."

Tim nodded.

"He's still alive? Your friend?"

"Yeah. He lives in New Jersey now with his girlfriend and his kid. Works in a sports agency in New York City."

"He's still paralyzed?"

"Yeah. Always will be."

Jax shook his head. "That's rough."

Tim sat back down, wondering if he should call Jay, talk to him about what was going on. He'd gotten a couple messages on his cell phone, mostly Jay pleading with him to call Billy. But Tim hadn't wanted to talk to either of them for reasons he couldn't quite put into words.

"So," said Jax, his tone casual. "How're things going with Julie."

Tim smiled. "Good, real good."

"And you had a good time at the ballet?" asked Jax in a teasing tone.

"Shut up," mumbled Tim, surprised to feel his face starting to burn. "Last time I tell Juice something like that."

"That's a good policy to have, man," agreed Jax with a nod.

They sat out there until the sun started to slip behind the mountains. Then Jax said something about heading out and they were on their way. Tim hadn't minded that they'd been gone so long. Tim didn't expect to see Julie for the rest of the weekend. It was nice to get out of the house and spend some time with one of the guys.


	6. Chapter 6

When Jax and Tim arrived back at the apartment, two cars were parked in the lot. Jax saw and recognized Julie's Celica, even before he could register the fact that she was sitting in the driver's seat.

"Who's the Lexus belong to?" asked Tim, confused.

"Trouble," replied Jax, dropping the kickstand on his bike.

Julie got out of her car and walked briskly around to the other side, faltering only slightly when she saw that Tim was not alone. She folded her arms and leaned against the back of her car, her eyes practically boring holes through Tim. He ambled up toward her with Jax trailing behind.

Jax felt like he was watching a train wreck. He could do nothing to prevent it, but he somehow couldn't look away either.

"Hey, Jules, I didn't expect to see you again this weekend," said Tim with an easy smile.

"Clearly. And I didn't expect to find a half-dressed girl in your apartment."

"What are you talking about?" asked Tim.

"Your apartment - you have a girl waiting there for you."

Tim looked at the Lexus and then back at Jax. "Who's in my apartment and why?"

"Ima, probably. Why...I got no idea."

"Ima from Caracara?" said Julie, her voice rising by at least an octave. "What's going on here, Tim? Are porn stars the biker equivalent of rally girls?"

"Look, Julie, come on up with me and we'll find out what's going on. Because I seriously have no idea. Jax came by a few hours ago, we went for a ride, and now I'm home and this is all news to me." Tim raked his hand through his hair.

Julie shook her head. "No way. I'm not going up there while she's in there."

Tim looked up at his apartment. "Jules, be reasonable. I didn't lock the door and she just let herself in."

"Be reasonable? You're my boyfriend. I think it's reasonable to expect that when I come to see you, there won't be a porn star in your room."

Tim looked back again at Jax for help, but he just smiled and held his hands up. "She's got a point, Abecrombie. You better go find out what's going on."

Tim reached out a hand toward Julie, but she brushed him away. He sighed and walked back to his apartment.

"Does this happen all the time?" asked Julie as Jax leaned against the car.

"Do you trust him?"

Julie bit her bottom lip as she considered the question. She looked down, which caused her hair to swing forward and hide her face. Before he could second-guess himself, Jax reached out and brushed her hair back behind her ear.

"It's a simple question," he said lightly.

"No, it's not really. If you'd asked me a few hour ago, I'd have said yes without thinking about it. But now, after finding that girl lounging on his couch like she owned the place, I'm not sure."

"But all that's changed in the last few hours is that you saw something that he had no control over. That's the only difference."

Julie looked up at him and Jax could see something soften in her eyes. Now he unexpectedly found himself torn. He was confident that with a little more cajoling, he could put Abercrombie back in her good graces. But part of him, call it the devil on his shoulder, knew he could tip the scale the other way too. The surprising part was how much he found himself wanting to listen to the devil.

"Pixie, don't go getting yourself all bent out of shape. It's just one of those things."

"Right," said Julie as she rolled her eyes.

The sound of a door slamming drew their attention back to the apartment, where Ima was tottering down the stairs in ridiculously high heels. She got into her car without comment and peeled away.

"Not exactly the result you'd expect if you couldn't trust him, now is it?" asked Jax with a half-teasing smile.

Julie looked up and watched Tim walk down the stairs and head over toward her.

"No, I suppose it's not. Maybe I jumped to a conclusion or two," said Julie without taking her eyes off Tim.

Jax patted her on the shoulder in a brotherly, reassuring way and then stepped back.

"Think about what we talked about," he called to Tim, who nodded. Jax got on his bike and watched for a minute as Tim put his hands on Julie's elbows and leaned down, whispering something earnestly. Even from the distance, he could see Julie softening and knew she was going to get over this.

Jax revved the engine once and then pulled away, resisting the urge to look back.

The next morning, Julie woke up early and made coffee, then got started on her homework. She was tired and trying not to be cranky. In the morning, it was easy to see things differently and she was beginning to wonder if she hadn't let Tim off the hook too easily when he apologized for the porn star in his apartment.

The more Julie thought about it, the more she didn't like it. At the very least, she was going to have to insist that Tim lock his doors. And, she was also going to have to ask him what Jax meant about thinking about something. Something about that offhanded remark had triggered Julie's radar, but she'd been too focused on the problem at hand last night.

She let Tim sleep until noon, then she turned on the radio and waited for him to wake up. After about twenty minutes, Tim stumbled out into the living room. Julie waited until he'd had some coffee and a bowl of cereal before pouncing on him with questions.

"So, what did Jax mean about thinking about what you talked about?"

"Oh," said Tim with a slow grin. "He told me the club wanted me to be a prospect."

"A prospect?" asked Julie.

"Yeah, you know, like to try things out and see if they'd want to have me as a member."

"And...well...you're not actually considering doing this, are you?" asked Julie, trying to soften the words but knowing from the way Tim's smile evaporated that she had failed.

"Well, yeah, actually, I am considering it. In fact, I'm pretty sure that it's something that I want to do."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously."

"Tim, you do realize that an outlaw motorcycle club does a lot more than just go on charity rides and talk about motorcycles."

He shrugged and looked down. "It's not about that."

"Then what's it about?"

"It's about family. You know, having guys you can trust and depend on. Like teammates but better. Like brothers."

"Tim, you have a brother who calls me three times a week asking when you're going to come home."

Tim blinked. "Billy calls you to ask about me?"

"Yeah, because you never answer the phone."

Tim looked down. "Nah, I guess I don't. 'Less it's you or one of the guys."

"Tim, I know you're a big boy and you're going to do whatever you want to do, but I think this is a really bad idea and if you want a family so much, you should go back to Dillon where you belong."

"That's the thing, Jules, I don't belong there anymore. Billy made it pretty clear that his family now is Mindy and the baby. Jay's gone. Lyla's gone. You're even gone. There's nothing there for me anymore."

"Tim," said Julie, trying to rein in her frustration. "Billy was just disappointed in you when you dropped out of college. But he never stopped being your brother."

Tim shook his head slowly but said nothing.

"This isn't like joining a football team. Or even a fraternity. This is way more serious, Tim."

"I get that."

Julie reached out and put her hand on top of his, but he didn't respond. She said his name, all soft and pleading, but he wouldn't look at her. She stood up and started to gather her books.

"Okay, you know what, I can't talk to you when you get like this. I'm going home. You know where to find me when you want to talk."

Julie put on her jacket and paused, giving Tim one last chance to stop her, but he was staring down at the table. She shook her head and then left, letting the door clang shut behind her.

Monday morning, Tim arrived at Teller-Morrow early and got right to work on the transmission of an old truck. The guys saved the pickup trucks for him, which always made him smile. He loved the big old trucks. Solid and built to last. You take care of a truck like that, it'll take care of you.

"Abecrombie, you get everything straightened out with Julie?" asked Jax, a jaunty tone in his voice. Tim stepped back from the truck.

"Yeah, it was fine. Thanks for helping me out. I don't know what you said to her, but I know it worked."

"Don't worry about. Stirring up trouble is kinda Ima's thing. Just watch out for her."

"Yeah, I will. Hey, I had a chance to think things over."

"Oh yeah?" asked Jax.

"Yeah. I'm in. All in."

Jax grinned and shook Tim's hand. "Glad to hear it."

Tim smiled back, his happiness in the moment nearly enough to wash Julie's words of warning out of his mind.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: We own nothing enjoy...

 

Tim watched from his bedroom doorway as Julie twisted and turned in front of the mirror mounted on his closet door.

"You're beautiful Jules, no matter which way you cut it." He walked over and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"You look great, baby, really," he said as she fiddled with the bottom of her capped-sleeved dress, which was emblazoned with a black and white pattern of intricate circles and graced by a cream-colored ribbon around the waist. Deep purple suede heels and a long strand of pearls accessorized the look.

"Well you described Gemma as a female version of my father so I'm kinda nervous," said Julie, biting her lip while nervously rearranging her bangs.

"Well, don't be she'll love you…"

"Promise you'll make a deal with me, Tim?"

"What's the deal?"

"If things… if they get too heavy and you want out, you'll just go. You won't think that you're being disloyal or something." Julie twisted around in his arms so she was facing him. She put her hands on his chest.

Tim nodded slowly.

"I have to admit," said Julie. "I'm not thrilled about your decision, but I know I can't force you to change your mind. It wouldn't be fair. But I am asking you to be careful. I value you and all you bring to my life."

"Say things like that a man's liable to promise you the world," he murmured, pressing his lips to the crook of her neck.

"I mean it, Tim. You're important to me and I don't want something bad to happen to you because of some misplaced sense of loyalty... So promise."

"Nothing bad is going to happen," said Tim with a sigh. "But you have my word, Julie... It gets too heavy and I'm out. I promise."

 

Tim parked his truck in Gemma's driveway, then went around to the passenger side to help Julie out. He held out his hand, which she took with a smile before gingerly sliding out of the truck.

After her feet were solidly on the ground, Tim pressed a kiss into her forehead. Keeping her hand in his, he led the way toward the front door. Chibs and Bobby ambled out to greet them.

"Abercrombie, where's your Triumph?" Bobby asked.

"My gal's attire isn't exactly bike friendly." Tim smiled.

"'Ello Lass…you look lovely…" Chibs walked over and hugged Julie. The Scot had taken a shine to her. She hugged him back with a grin.

"Awaiting my arrival with bated breath, Chibs?" she teased.

"As always lovey." He put her hand in the crook of his arm and led her away.

"He totally just stole my gal!" Tim looked on exasperated.

"It's the accent. Does funny things to women, Abercrombie. You better get used to it." Bobby clapped him on the back.

They followed Julie and Chibs toward the house.

"Wait I forgot…" Julie said.

"The brownies. I'll get them." Tim turned back around. When Tim came into the kitchen he saw Julie talking animatedly to that Lyla girl.

"Abercrombie…leave Miss Taylor with the girls and come play pool." Juice told him.

"You got this, babe?" He handed her the brownie pan.

"Sure." She replied nervously. He kissed her forehead and was gone in the next instant.

She turned around and was face-to-face with Tara. As cordial and polite as Tara always was, she somehow always made Julie feel as though she were just gum under Tara's shoe.

"Hi, Tara," said Julie as brightly as she could, trying to force out a genuine smile despite the gummy look that Tara was sending her.

"Hello," replied Tara cooly as she stepped around Julie.

Julie sighed and looked around. She suddenly wished that Tim had stuck around long enough to at least do the introductions. She spotted Gemma near the stove and made her way toward her, feeling a little like she was bringing an offering to the Queen. Julie'd seen Gemma before, of course, but she'd never properly met her.

"Julie, why don't you set the brownies down on the table there," said Gemma, watching the young girl in her Sunday best. She thought Julie looked a little like Wendy had before SAMCRO and the crank addiction had steam rolled over her.

Gemma wiped her hands on a dishtowel and lit a cigarette. Where the hell had Jax found this pretty boy prospect and his chick?

Julie placed her brownie tin on the table and returned to kitchen. Gemma could sense the waves of nervousness rolling off the girl and would bet her bottom dollar that Julie was a rambler.

"Hi, I'm Julie nice to finally meet you. You have a really lovely house and your bird, is that a cockatoo? He's really pretty." Julie finally paused to draw a breath.

Right a rambler. Gemma thought.

Julie looked into Gemma's eyes and offered a glittering smile, just like Tami had taught her. (Look 'em straight in the eye and smile, Jules. Lets 'em know you're on the level and it smooths the way.)

Julie felt Gemma's critical eyes on her and was sure that Gemma was finding her lacking. Tami and Eric were tough, a sort of tough that Julie was well used to. But Gemma's kind of tough was like unbending steel and armor plating tinged with spikiness.

"So, how long have you and Abecrombie been together then?"

"Oh, um, officially not very long. I mean, we've been friends for a long time. He played football for my dad and sometimes I'd help him with his homework. No pass, no play, you know, that's the district policy." Julie knew she was rambling but her nervousness made it nearly impossible to stop her endless stream of words.

Luckily Tim must have sensed her distress because he strolled in for a beer.

"I'm getting my ass beat, Jules. Care to be my good luck charm?" he asked as he grabbed a beer from the fridge.

"Can't be good at everything, Thirty-Three," she teased. "Grab me one?"

"Sure." He twisted the cap off the bottle in his hand and held it out to her, then went back to the fridge to get another.

"Prospect, don't you know we don't get our beers here? Our old ladies bring them to us," said Clay as he walked into the kitchen.

"Not this guy, Clay. She's my girlfriend, not my maid." Tim smiled as they passed him. He led Julie over into the room where the guys were playing pool. Tim picked up his cue and resumed his game.

Julie snickered as she leaned on the wall.

Tim turned to look at her. "What?"

"You really do suck at this. It's kinda cute…"

"Oh really?" asked Tim with a raised eyebrow. "Care to show me how its done?"

"Sure, why not? Just another thing you can add to my list of great attributes… smart… funny…hot…pool shark…" She leaned down and sunk a ball into the far corner pocket.

Her phone rang, so Tim picked it up.

"Collette's callin' you." Julie took her phone from him and scurried outside.


	8. Chapter 8

Jax saw Julie exit the house and told Tara he was going out back for a smoke. But really, he just wanted to talk to Julie.

He slid the glass door closed quietly behind him and lit a cigarette. He leaned a forearm against the porch post and half-heartedly smoked as he eavesdropped on Julie's phone call.

"Wait - you just got my 'I'm dating Tim and I found a porn star in his house' email," asked Julie as she twirled a strand of hair.

"Well, yeah, just that once when we were working late at Riggins Rigs last summer. But it was just a casual thing. What?"

Julie paused, then laughed. "Right, well, every woman in Dillon does have to hook up with Tim Riggins. It's like a rite of passage. But no, I didn't even really say good-bye to him when I left for college. But then, I don't know...a month ago, Billy called and asked me to come rescue him."

Julie paused again, this time holding the phone away from her ear. Even Jax could hear the squeal followed by a harsh scolding. Julie half-turned and Jax stepped back into the shadows. He could make out the smile on her face when she finally resumed her side of the conversation.

"Of course every female on the planet is like pre-programmed from the womb to want to save the boy, so I tried or am trying, or whatever. Anyway, he decided he wanted to change our relationship policy to a more exclusive one, his words not mine."

Jax watched as she slid off her heel and scratched her calf with her foot. How could something so simple turn him on so completely?

"So I'm like ok I'll try it. Take Tim Riggins out of Dillon and maybe you take the Dillon out of Tim Riggins, know what I'm saying? It's like a fresh start for him, for both of us, really. Like he said, we can be whoever we want to be here."

Jax smiled as Julie started to pace as she talked, doing a little spin when she turned around so that her skirt flared out.

"So, everything's going along fine, then last week I show up and there's this girl, a porn star girl, who works at a place owned by the motorcycle club Tim is bound and determined to join." She bit her lip and cocked her head.

"Um, they're actually not so bad. Some of them are really nice, in fact. There's one, actually, reminds me of Tim with a little Cash thrown in and Matt's quietness, minus the stuttering and plus a lot more self-confidence. Yeah, it's a totally hot combination. No, no, I'm completely with Tim. Yes, I'm sure. This guy, Jax, he's the one that managed to talk me down on the porn girl thing. I don't even think Tim realizes how much he owes Jax, because I was seriously ready to dump his ass."

Julie picked her beer bottle up off the ground and took a sip as she listened intently. She rolled her eyes and then sighed, before speaking again.

"No, seriously, I'm with Tim and this guy is totally in love with another girl. So can we get back to the story? This porn girl who does the anal stuff or so Lyla tells me…no different Lyla more of a slightly-kinky-girl-next-door type. Not Satan in a cheerleading outfit like Garrity… Back to what I was saying, this girl is all splayed out half-naked on Tim's couch and ugh disgusting…so I like have this insane urge to mark my territory." She paused, took another sip of her beer, then set it back down on the ground.

"I just don't know how to make the point that he's mine. At first, I just wanted to beat skanky porn girl over the head with Tim's beer bong… uh huh… but then I thought no, that's not good enough. I want to fuck with her head first, so I emailed you because, well... you're good at evil. I'm not."

Before Jax could stop his laugh, it reached Julie's ears. He dropped his cigarette and stepped on it.

She turned around, her cheeks blushing. "Tyra I gotta go Jax just caught me trash talkin...Bye, Tyra. Love you…yes I'll make sure Tim knows you will detach his balls if he hurts me. Bye, girl." Julie hung up, snickering.

"Interesting friend you got there Pixie."

"The best. Um, so, how long have you been standing there?" she asked, biting her lip as she didn't quite manage to meet his eyes.

He took a step closer to her, close enough to touch, but she kept her arms folded around her middle.

"Just got here. Was going to have a quick smoke before the dinner fun begins," he said, holding up his cigarettes and a lighter to emphasize his point.

That little devil on Jax's shoulder was talking again. He reached over and brushed Julie's hair back behind her ear. She looked up and smiled at him.

"Julie, you don't have to do anything to mark your territory Tim pretty much sends out an 'I'm taken vibe' that'll stop every girl except for the completely delusional, like Ima."

Julie looked at him skeptically.

"Julie, I'm serious. Everyone can see how he feels about you. It's obvious."

"Really?" asked Julie, her eyes lighting up with an expression that Jax couldn't quite read.

"Really," said Jax with a smile.

 

Gemma watched them from inside the house. Jax liked Julie. Gemma could see it, that look about him that she knew all to well. It was how he looked at Tara when they were both 15. That look was nothing but trouble.

Julie seemed a little too innocent, too spoiled, too much like a suburbanite playing on the wrong side of the tracks for Gemma's taste. She never thought she'd see the day when she was rooting for Tara, but better the devil you know.

Gemma pressed her lips together into a grim line. Jax had better not get to attached to Blondie over there.

"Dinner!" she called out, before Jax had reason to touch that girl again.

 

Gemma kept her eyes open through dinner. She watched the interaction between Julie and the prospect, but also between Jax and Julie, and Jax and his prospect.

The prospect was attentive and looked after Julie. If Gemma had to bet, she'd actually put money on him being more invested in the relationship than Julie was. Not that Julie wasn't invested, but she wasn't quite all-in the way the prospect was.

It was clear that Jax was fond of the new prospect, so maybe that would be enough to keep him in check. He was at least behaving himself at the table. If she hadn't been looking for it, she wouldn't have caught any of the subtle signals that told her that her son was developing feelings for Julie.

But still, Gemma felt she couldn't leave it to chance. She played her cards just right to get Tara alone in the kitchen to help with dessert.

"So, how're things going with Jax?" asked Gemma casually.

"Fine. Why?" asked Tara, warily eying Gemma.

"No reason. It's just, you know, I'm his mother, I see things. And if I were you, I'd be keeping your man on a very short leash around the prospect's hot young thing. That's all I'm saying."

Tara sighed. "Is this more of your bullshit head games, Gemma? Because I'm getting really sick of them."

"No, honey. You've been growing on me. Kind of like fungus, but still. Point is, I understand you and know what to expect from you. That one in there - young, idealistic and dangerous."

"So I'm what, the lesser of two evils?"

"Something like that. Just consider it a friendly heads-up," said Gemma as she picked up the dessert platter.

 

A few days later, Julie parked in front of the clubhouse and was retrieving her books when Gemma approached.

"Hi Gemma. How are you? Do you mind sit at the bar in club and finish my Lit paper? I'm waiting on Tim to finish up work," said Julie brightly.

"What are you doing here, little girl? You don't belong here. Doesn't all this scare you?" asked Gemma.

Julie blinked, unsure what to say.

"You should be scared. We aren't your Mama's bridge club or your Daddy's football team."

"My mother doesn't play bridge and believe me, I know, this isn't my Daddy's team but it is as close as Tim can get for now."

"An MC isn't a football team. Maybe your boy would be better off finding a sports league to join." Gemma leaned on Julie's car, getting into her personal space.

Julie swallowed hard and forced her voice to cooperate. "I'm not stupid…I know this club has a reputation. I'm scared of the choices Tim will make. I'm scared I won't be able to leave him if he makes choices I don't agree with. But I love him enough to stay. To believe in him and let him fail or succeed all on his own. Because no one else does, Gemma. No one is in his corner but me so yeah I'm scared of a lot things but you're not going to be one of them."

Gemma laughed. "You should be afraid of me, darling. You should."

"I know you don't like me even though I don't know why. I'm a decent person, Gemma. If you'd quit being so rude to me for absolutely no reason maybe you could see that!"

Gemma looked at her skeptically and Julie felt like a mouse being played with by a cat.

"You know what? Can you please just tell Tim I'll be at his apartment when he's done. Thank you." Julie got back in her car, took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Ignoring Gemma's steely gaze, she put the car in drive and went to Tim's place. feeling strangely free and just a little bit better.


	9. Chapter 9

When Julie got into the car, the seats were uncomfortably hot. She turned on the AC, hoping it would work quickly. She'd just had an interview with the Lodi Gazette. She thought it went well.

She glanced over into the passenger seat where her bright red phone alerted her to the fact that she had a voicemail. She picked it up, typed in her code and listened to the message.

"Hi Baby…I … I'm not going to be able to take you out for your Birthday. I'm sorry, honey, it's just the boys have me up to my neck in shit work… you know being the prospect and all. Anyways baby I really am sorry! You could come hang out with me. I'm here alone so no one will interrupt us…unless you'd just rather be mad at me that is fine too…" He chuckled "I love you and happy birthday Jules…"

Apparently Julie was spending her birthday at Teller-Morrow. She put her car in drive and headed that way.

 

"Timmy!" Julie called out.

"Over here, babe." He replied, his head under the hood of a Toyota 4Runner.

She walked over, heels clicking on the concrete.

"Hiya baby!"

He took a sidelong glance at her purple and black plaid shirt with black pearl snaps and black lace cut outs at the shoulders. Black high waisted pants and her black suede boots finished off the look.

"Hey Birthday Girl. You been raidin' my closet?"

"Plaid's the in thing now… you're en vogue now baby."

Tim's laugh rang off the cinder block walls. "Yeah right."

"How was your day?" She asked.

"Let's see... I had to change the oil on three cars, sweep and mop the clubhouse, wash everyone's bikes, and now I'm fixing a transmission. The fact that it was the lowly prospect's girlfriend's birthday was lost on all of them."

Julie shrugged. "I'll have another one next year, so no big deal."

He stood up straight wiping his greasy hands on a soiled red bandana. "Well, I plan to make it the best birthday I can, despite our unusual circumstances tonight and I promise you next year will be better."

She walked over and wrapped her arms around his waist. Resting her head on his chest she murmured, "I like this just fine."

He stood stock-still, careful not touch her and get her dirty.

"I need you to stand right here and close your eyes. Don't move." He unraveled himself from her.

"Tim, this is the part of the movie when the axe murderer kills the pretty but ditzy blonde and you never see the body again."

"You're not ditzy and I'm not going far. " Julie heard water running then shut off. The whirring clang of some machinery then Tim walking toward her. "Okay open!"

There on a paper plate was a bright pink Hostess Snoball with a lit candle in the center. Julie melted a little.

"Happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday Dear Julie happy birthday to you." Tim sang to her. He wasn't Josh Groban but it wasn't terrible. Man did she love him. She smiled brightly at him.

"Go on make a wish." She closed her eyes making her wish and blew it out.

"I wouldn't actually eat that …I have no idea how long it's been in the vending machine…I just liked the symbolism…one more thing." Tim said.

He fished in his pocket pulling out one of the little plastic egg things containing some piece of jewelry that you could get out of the little quarter toy dispenser in Gemma's office. Julie smiled as he handed it to her. She opened it. A simple silver heart on a matching thin chain.

"I love it. I like simple things."

"Your real present is at my place."

"No worries, I like this one just as much. How many quarters it take to get the one you wanted?"

"Like fifty." he grinned

"Help me put it on?"

As he did, he kissed the back of her neck.

"Happy Birthday, Julie. Don't wear that too long it'll turn your neck green."

"You know Tim, this may be one of my best birthdays yet. You surprised me. I thought it would involve a spanking and sex on the pool table in the club."

"That could be arranged." He grinned like the Cheshire cat "Is there anything else you'd like?"

"Dance with me?" She held out her hand. "No one's here to see."

Tim turned and found the song on his iPod he wanted as it set in its dock on the tool cart. Adele's version of "To Make You Feel My Love" poured out the speakers. Tim gathered Julie to him. They didn't dance, really, they just kind of swayed to the music in each other's arms.

"Why is that song on your IPod?"

Tim shrugged. "You like it."

 

Jax pulled up to the club. He intended to tell Tim he could leave for the night. As he shut off his bike he heard the last notes of a slow song coming from the shop.

Why was Tim listening to girly music? Then he saw them as he walked in. They were in their own little world now, trying to make their way through what he thought to be a two–step to some tinny old country music.

"Baby, how did you manage to make all those moves on the field but a simple quick-quick-slow rhythm messes you up?" Julie teased, her eyes glittering.

Jax knew he was invading a private moment and should leave, but he couldn't make himself. He was too enamored with Julie, mesmerized by the way she moved, to want to leave.

"Yeah wel,l I can't be good looking and a great dancer that would be asking too much of God," he replied. She laughed again and Jax's insides clinched.

"I like watching you do those spinney things though," said Tim.

"You mean pirouettes. I can't do those in these heels but…"

She backed away from him. Her left leg shot up parallel to her head as she spun in a tight circle.

"I like that one." Tim smirked.

"Pervert!" Julie retorted.

 

Julie's eyes landed on Jax and she blushed a pretty pink. She brought her leg down standing still.

"Nice moves, Pixie, but your man is severely lacking. Happy Birthday, by the way." He smiled at her.

"Thank you."

"Yeah, well, if you think you can do better by all means."

Tim laid out the challenge and the sharp spark in Jax's eyes should have been a warning to Julie, but it went over her head.

"Can you two-step?" asked Julie.

He shook his head no.

"I'll teach you it's simple and fun…"

She took his hand and felt an instant spark, the warmth curling up into her arm. She tried to shrug off the feeling and teach him the steps.

In his arms ,she realized that where Tim's touch was soft and gently possessive, Jax's touch belied entitlement to whatever he wanted. It belied toughness and confidence. He terrified her and yet… she liked it.

He wanted her, she knew...bookish, geeky Julie. She shouldn't want him back but she did.

God, she had to get away from him. Put some distance between them. His phone rang and she nearly sighed in relief. He broke from her looking apologetic.

"Stopped at the garage to tell Abercrombie he could leave. Be right there,Tara."

Julie went back over to Tim. He wrapped himself around her and she was safe again.


	10. Chapter 10

Julie had enjoyed her birthday with Tim, even though the circumstances were bizarre. She understood his canceling at the last minute and was happy that he was able to come up with a way that they could spend time together anyway.

She was less amused when he canceled their next five dates, with little or no warning. In fact, the third one, he'd called her two hours after he was supposed to pick her up. It was always the same excuse, something to do with the club and his status as prospect.

She was trying to be a supportive girlfriend. Tim wanted the club in his life, so when a side effect of the club was canceled dates, Julie did her best to absorb the disappointment and move on. The time she did get to spend with Tim was mostly good, as long as they talked about anything except the club.

Sometimes when he canceled on her, he'd tell her what he was doing. Other times, he'd just sigh and repeat his apology. Julie found her patience wearing thin. And when he wouldn't even tell her what he was doing, she was both frightened and angry. She feared that it was only a matter of time before he called to ask her to bail him out of jail. And right now? She wasn't so sure that she would.

Julie blinked hard to clear the thoughts of Tim and the club from her head. She was standing in a crowded dressing room, waiting to dance in her first college recital. She'd checked her phone a few minutes earlier and had no messages or texts from Tim. She was taking this as a good sign. He'd promised to be there and he knew how much this meant to her.

She smoothed her hair into place and took a deep breath. She was dancing twice this evening, first as part of a group and then she had the third-to-last solo of the night. She'd choreographed it herself and was proud that she was selected to perform, a rare honor for a freshman.

She was sad that her parents weren't able to be there, but Gracie Belle and her father had both come down with the flu the day before they were supposed to fly to San Jose. Her mother was staying home to take care of them and also to prevent passing anything on to Julie. They had tentatively rescheduled the visit for the next month.

The stage manager called for Julie's group and she got ready to go on stage. The actual performance was just a blur, with the music ringing in her ears and the lights in her eyes. She kept a smile plastered on her face and just concentrated on dancing. When the song was over, she was finally able to get a good look out into the crowd.

She spotted a familiar figure standing at the back of the auditorium, clapping enthusiastically. Tim had managed to make it. Julie breathed a sigh of relief and retreated backstage to prepare for her solo.

After changing her outfit and touching up her make up, she spent the rest of the time until her solo off in the wings, watching the other performances. Everyone was doing well and Julie tried not to let the pressure and nerves build up on her. She remembered Tim standing at the back and told herself to just pretend that she was dancing only for him.

When the time finally came, Julie took the stage and danced flawlessly. Probably better than she had ever danced in her life. She just let the music carry her along and she didn't think or worry about anything. It was just four minutes of moving in reaction to the music.

Breathless and relieved it was over, Julie looked out over the audience when the music stopped. She didn't see Tim at the back. She tried to tell herself that maybe he'd just found a seat, but given his recent track record, she wasn't quite able to believe it.

Julie returned to the dressing room and changed into her jeans and sweater, then waited for the end of the recital. She left the dressing room as soon as she could and looked in vain for Tim. She waited until nearly everyone was gone before admitting to herself that he'd just left in the middle of her recital.

Sighing, Julie checked her phone and found a text from Tim, saying that he was sorry he couldn't stay and that she had done great.

She stalked out to the parking lot and got into her car, slamming the door. It felt good, letting out a little anger like that. Because she was awfully angry right now. She had tried to be understanding the last several weeks and all she'd asked for was one night. He couldn't even do that for her.

Julie called Tim, but he didn't answer his phone. She debated for a minute, and then found Jax's number, hoping he'd be able to tell her where she could find Tim.

 

When Clay pulled him aside at Teller-Morrow, Tim had felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. He knew that he had to get to Julie's recital or she'd be so angry with him, she'd probably finally break up with him. He'd felt that threat, fluttering at the edges of their relationship, for the last few weeks.

"Prospect, I need you to go out to the Army Surplus store, pick up a package from Edmund, and take it to this address in Oakland. You're going to need your truck," said Clay.

"Okay, should I go now?" asked Tim.

"No. Edmund said that you should drop by around seven and you need to make the delivery at nine."

Tim winced and started to object, but the look on Clay's face stopped him cold.

"Is there going to be a problem?"

"No sir," replied Tim, trying to figure out how he could be in two places at once.

In the end, he came up with what he thought was a good compromise. He was at the Army Surplus store a little early and was thankful that Edmund had the package, which was actually several green duffle bags, ready to go.

Tim put the bags on the floor of his truck and drove as fast as he could to Lodi. He had to stare down a weedy little usher to get into the auditorium, since the recital had already started. He stood at the back, hoping that Julie would dance soon so he could get out to Oakland.

He was lucky enough to catch her first performance, with, but knew he had to miss her solo. After her group had filed offstage, he sprinted to his truck and drove to Oakland, breaking every speed limit and several traffic laws along the way. He knew it was reckless to drive that way when only God (and Edmund and Clay) knew what he was carrying in those green bags, but he'd rather take his chances with a cop than disappoint the club.

Luck was on his side and he managed to deliver the bags to a surly bartender in a seedy bar, only fifteen minutes late. He thought he might even have a shot of getting back to Lodi in time, but then he got stuck behind the world's slowest driver.

It was late when he saw the exit for Lodi. He knew he could take the exit and deal with Julie and her disappointment now, or he could keep driving to the clubhouse, where the usual Friday night party would be in full swing. He wanted to take the exit, but he found that he just couldn't do it. He couldn't face her right now.

So Tim drove back to the clubhouse, sent Julie a text, and then joined the party. After a few beers and several shots, most of his guilt and worry about Julie had eased. He was enjoying the evening, the loud music, the spirited game of pool, the banter with the guys. It just felt good to be part of something again.

"You really have no idea, do you, Abecrombie?" asked Tig while Tim lined up a shot.

"No idea about what?"

"Those girls over there. You got yourself your very own fan club and you're completely oblivious."

Tim shook his head.

"Aye but you do. It's a waste, really," said Chibbs.

"I thought you were some kind of stud in high school. At least that's what I heard. Isn't that what you guys heard?" asked Tig as both Chibbs and Juice nodded.

Tim sank his shot and straightened up. "That was a long time ago. I'm with Julie now."

"Yeah, yeah, but I want to see what you got. How'd you win over the ladies?" asked Tig, approaching Tim a bit aggressively.

Tim shook his head. Get a few drinks into a guy like Tig and it was only a matter of time before either threats, dares, or fists started flying. And Tim knew from experience that sometimes it was best to just give in, especially if it was something small that didn't mean anything.

"All right, fine. You watching?" asked Tim with a smile. He walked over to the girls slowly and quickly focused on the one who was leaning against the wall. She reminded him of Garrity, with her shiny hair and big brown eyes.

"What are you doing all the way over here by yourself?" he asked as he stepped up into her space, leaning one arm up against the wall above her.

"Waiting for you," she said, smiling up at him. It was disorienting because it increased her resemblance to Garrity.

Tim nodded and ran a hand lightly over her arm. He realized he was crossing lines and slipping into dangerous territory, but the alcohol buzzing in his head and the music pounding in ears somehow made it seem all right.

It was like he was back in high school, back at any number of parties, back in a place where he never could disappoint a girl the way he was disappointing Julie because no girls had any expectations of him beyond a good time or two.

It was liberating and Tim decided to lean into it and just enjoy it.


	11. Chapter 11

Jax stayed at the party for two beers and then went home to Tara and Abel. The guys gave him a hard time, but the truth was that the parties were pretty much all the same. His days of passing out on the pool table with some random woman were long behind him.

Instead, he was spending his Friday on the couch with Tara, watching a movie. A blissful domestic scene until his cell phone started to ring. He felt Tara stiffen next to him, ready to object against whatever was about to interrupt their time together.

"It can't be the porn hotline," she said as she rolled her eyes.

Jax picked up the phone, but didn't recognize the number. He shook his head and picked up the call.

"Yeah?"

"Um, Jax? This is Julie...um, Julie Taylor, Tim's girlfriend?"

"I know who you are, Pixie," said Jax with a laugh as he disentangled himself from Tara. He held up a hand to let her know that he had to take the call, then went back to the bedroom.

"Right, well, do you know where Tim is?"

"He had to make a delivery for us up in Oakland. I don't know where he went after that. Maybe to the party."

"The party?"

"You know, at the clubhouse. I left early. He wasn't there when I left, but he could be there now. Do you want me to call one of the guys there and check for you?"

"No, no. That's fine. I can handle this myself. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

They exchanged good-byes, then Jax called Bobby.

"Hey, Bobby. Is Abecrombie there?"

"Yeah, he got here about an hour ago."

"And what's he doing?"

"Well, he was playing pool, but now he's hitting on some girl."

"Thanks, Bobby." Jax hung up the phone and swore softly to himself. If Julie Taylor was on her way over the clubhouse, there could be trouble. No, it wasn't a matter of if. When Julie arrived, there would be trouble.

Jax stood up and slipped the phone in his pocket. He turned and saw Tara leaning in the doorway, her arms crossed.

"Sorry, Tara. I have to go to the clubhouse and take care of something."

"Can't one of the guys take care of it?"

He shook his head.

"It's that girl, isn't it?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Julie. You're going because you want to see Julie."

"Tara, don't be ridiculous," said Jax, putting a reassuring hand on Tara's arm as he tried to get past her. She shrugged him off and stepped away. He sighed and shook his head, then walked into the kitchen with Tara trailing behind him.

"Jax, this is a problem. I have eyes, you know, I can see what's going on. I see the way you look at her and it bothers me, it bothers me a lot."

"She's a prospect's girlfriend," said Jax, as he put on his cut and picked up his keys.

"So?" asked Tara. It was a challenge that asked way more than he was prepared to deal with right then.

"Tara, I have to go. We'll talk about this later."

"No, Jax, we talk about this now or we don't talk about it at all."

"I have to go now. We're going to have to talk about this later." He kept his voice level and steady.

"You know what Jax? Just go do whatever you want. You always do anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?"He heard the defensiveness in his voice, the sharpening of the tone, but he didn't care. Tara was pushing his buttons.

"You know exactly what it means," she snapped as she stalked out of the room.

Jax took a few angry steps before he realized that she was purposely starting a fight to get him to stay. She knew how he felt when she walked away from him like that. He stormed left the house, slamming the door behind him.

He got on his bike and sped over to the clubhouse, relieved when he didn't see Julie's car in the parking lot. Jax parked and went inside, looking around. He quickly spotted Tim, leaning over and whispering in some girl's ear. She laughed and smiled up at him, causing him to lean in closer.

Jax was on his way over to Tim when Tig stepped in front of him.

"Whatcha doin', Jax?"

"Get out of my way."

"Let the guy have some fun."

"Julie's going to be here any minute."

"Really? Even better," said Tig with a sly smile. "Juice, you got the video camera? This here will be a good fight. That girl's feisty."

Jax tried to push past. Tig stepped up and put a hand on Jax's shoulder, holding him in place.

"Get your hands off me," said Jax in a low, serious tone.

Tig just smirked, daring him to do something. Jax pulled back his fist but Bobby caught him and dragged him back, nodding over to the door.

Julie had just arrived and her eyes swept over the room hesitantly until she saw Tim. She pressed her mouth into a thin, grim line as her cheeks flushed. She walked over to the nearest table, picked up an empty beer bottle and threw it. The bottle hit Tim square in the back before it dropped to the floor and shattered.

"What the hell's wrong with you guys," said Tim as he turned around angrily. When he saw Julie standing there with another bottle in her hand, guilt and regret washed over his face.

"It's not what you think."

"No, Tim. This time, it's exactly what I think," said Julie.

"Jules-"

"Don't you Jules me."

"Would you at least just give me one chance to explain?"

"I'm done giving you chances and I'm done listening to explanations. I'm done, Tim. We're done."

Tim took a step toward and she threw the second bottle, which smashed on the wall behind him, just above and to the side of his head.

Tig gave a low whistle of appreciation. "Where'd you learn to throw like that?"

Julie glared at him then stormed out of the clubhouse. Tim tried to stumble after her, but Jax stepped in front of him.

"You really think you can make it better right now?" asked Jax.

Tim looked down and half-shrugged. "I have to go after her."

"Let her calm down. And you should sober up. You're in no condition to drive."

"I don't want her driving angry all the way back to Lodi," mumbled Tim, running a hand through his hair.

"I'll follow her, make sure she gets home okay," said Jax.

Tim nodded. "Thank you."

Jax slapped Tim on the arm and left. Julie's car was gone, but Jax had a good idea of the route she was most likely to take. Four blocks later, he caught up with her car. He eased back, hoping she wouldn't notice him following. Just before the highway, she abruptly pulled over and got out of the car.

"Why are you following me, Tim?" asked Julie angrily as she approached the bike.

As Jax dropped his kickstand and hopped off his bike, he pulled his helmet off.

"Oh, sorry. I thought you were Tim," said Julie.

"Obviously." Jax kept his tone light and offered a friendly smile, which Julie nervously returned. "You want to talk about it?"

She shrugged and even in the dim light, Jax could see her eyes filling up with tears. She looked up, blinking hard, like she was determined not to cry in front of him.

Jax stepped up and put his arms around her. She was stiff at first, uncertain, but the she relaxed into him. As soon as he felt her pulling away, he let go. But he couldn't help thinking that it felt good to hold her.

Julie leaned against the back of her car and sighed. "I don't know. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions and I should've given him a chance to explain."

"Tig put him up to hitting on that girl," said Jax.

She let out a short, bitter laugh. "So it was about the club then? It's always about the club. He missed my dance performance today. We haven't been on a date in about a month. All because of the club."

"It gets better. The club thing, it's always there, it's always important, but he's getting a lot of shit right now and has no leeway. It's part of being a prospect. But it really does get better.

"Yeah? And if I asked Tara, would she tell me the same thing?" ask Julie, looking over at him skeptically.

He smiled. Busted. "Maybe not. She...we've hit a rough patch lately, so her thinking's probably biased right now."

"I can drive home by myself, Jax."

He shook his head. "I said I'd make sure you got home safely and that's what I'm going to do."

Julie protested for a few minutes, but finally backed down. She gave him a weak smile and got back in her car.

 

Jax pulled into the parking lot of Julie's apartment building and turned his bike around. She parked the car, and then came to stand next to him.

"So, um, do you want to come up for a drink or something?" she asked, biting her lip.

He wondered what "or something" could mean, but shook his head slowly.

"OK, thanks for following me home. That was really nice of you but I'm sorry for wasting your time and for causing a scene." Julie spoke quickly, like she was trying to build a wall of words between them in record time.

"It's fine. Really."

"Thank you," she said. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. He let his hands rest on her waist. He tilted his head toward her, his lips so close to hers that they were breathing the same air. He listened to her sharp intake of breath.

She slipped a hand up his chest to the back of his neck, but then stopped. Jax knew that he could kiss her but he couldn't stop himself from debating whether he should.

They were frozen there, on the edge of something that Jax knew he wouldn't be able to take back. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, but then Julie took half a step back, the expression on her face strained and unreadable.

"Well, I'm sure Tara's waiting for you. Thanks again," she said, looking down as she turned her keys over in her hand.

"Yeah, no problem. Any time. I'll let Tim know you got home okay."

Jax couldn't mistake the unhappiness on her face at the mention of his name.

"Or not, Pixie, it's up to you."

"I don't care," she said in a voice that was equal parts wistful and defeated. It was enough to make him get off his bike and follow her upstairs.

"Go on upstairs and try to get some sleep," he said.

She gave him a half-hearted wave and walked over to the stairs.

"Hey," he called, causing her to turn around.

"Yeah?" she asked, one hand on the railing.

"Where did you learn to throw like that?"

"My dad's a football coach," she said with a shrug and a smile.

He watched her climb the stairs to the second floor. She opened the second door to the left of the stairwell and walked into the apartment. After a momentary pause, the front window lit up. Julie looked down through the glass into the darkness.

Jax wasn't sure if she could see him, but he waved anyway before driving away.


	12. Chapter 12

It had been three weeks since her break up with Tim and her almost kiss with Jax. Julie was miserable and lonely, with her grades suffering as a result.

She'd overslept, her dreams floating between what might have happened had Jax actually kissed her and steamy dreams of Tim. She'd tossed and turned most of the night.

She hurriedly got dressed. As she was throwing on her makeup, she noticed she had a voicemail on her phone. She dialed in and listened.

"One new message from Tim. Recorded at 3:42 a.m."

"Jules, Honey you gotta believe me it wasn't like you thought ple-message erased." Drunk dialing. Classic Tim, she thought.

She got into her car determined to have a good day despite being late for her first class. She turned the ignition. The country classics mix tape she'd made Tim filled her car. "Help Me Make It Through The Night" played as she put the car in drive.

"Take the ribbon from your hair shake it loose and let it fall." She sang along. She rolled her eyes. Tim had infiltrated her life more than she thought.

Next was "I Fall to Pieces." Patsy Cline's sultry voice filled her ears. She hit skip because there was no need to wallow. Their song "Make You Feel My Love" played. She wanted to cry. It just felt like the world hated her today. She hit the eject button four times before the CD popped out.

Finally she drove down the road rocking out to some Pink. Over the loud singing of "Don't Let Me Get Me," she heard a clang-clang-sputter sound. She began to pull over.

Then came the hissing as white smoke plumed from beneath the hood. Then the car coughed and died...that was the only word she could think to describe it. Tears filled her eyes and it took a full five minutes for her to accept her fate. Then she called him.

 

"I fell into a burnin' ring of fire." Tim's phone rang out. He promptly rolled out from underneath a truck.

"Well lookie here if it isn't Miss Taylor," Tig teased, picking up the phone as he read the I.D. He tossed it to Halfsac, who then tossed it to Bobby. While Johnny Cash continued his lament, the guys perpetuated their game of catch.

"Come on guys gimmie. Seriously. It it's the first time she's called me since..."

Halfsac smiled and tossed the phone to Juice.

"Seriously guys she might need me."

Gemma intercepted Juice's toss to Bobby.

"Here Baby…Tell Miss Pixie I say hi," said Gemma as she handed the phone to Tim.

"Thanks I will."

"Hey, Jules…honey I'm so glad you called." He turned away from the looks he was getting from the guys and escaped to Gemma's office. Jax was sitting on the couch doing paper work and Gemma was behind the desk.

"What? Where are you? Okay, what sound did it make…uh huh…ok what color is the smoke? What do you mean it coughed? Cars can't cough, baby."

Jax heard clear as a bell the snarky. "Well mine did!" Miss Taylor was still very mad at Abercrombie.

"I'm sure the CD player doesn't hate you, baby, this is just a bad day."

Jax's eyebrow rose at that and he bit back a chuckle.

"I'm on my way right now, ok? Just stay put. Please." Tim disconnected the call.

"I need to borrow the tow truck. Julie's car broke down on the highway between Lodi and here. I don't want her out there on the highway longer than she has to be," said Tim. Gemma handed him a set of keys and he took off.

 

Julie looked hot. Hot as in over heated. Hot as in unbelievably mad and irritated. Hot as in he really wanted to talk her into climbing into the back seat of the car to work their differences out his way.

Instead he just got out of the truck and began silently hooking up her car to the tow truck. She walked over got into the truck and cranked up the AC without a word.

"Gee thanks for the help Tim." he muttered to himself.

After the car was hooked up, Tim got back in the truck. They drove for awhile in an awkward, tense silence.

"Thank you for helping me." Julie finally murmured

"No problem anytime, Taylor."

"Now, I'm back to being Taylor?"

Tim sighed. "I hate when you twist everything I say."

"I do not twist everything you say!" Julie shrieked.

"Oh! Wait, you don't have anything to twist because you won't listen long enough to let me defend myself."

"You cheated," she said calmly, almost conversationally.

"I didn't cheat. I flirted."

She punched him in the arm hard. "That is cheating in my book Tim. Especially when the girl just so happens to look eerily like Lyla Garrity."

"I only did it as a joke. Tig put me up to it to see if I still had game. It meant nothing."

Julie rolled her eyes. "You had me. A few years ago you wouldn't have had a shot in hell that should speak for itself. It's always about the club. It's not just the cheating...flirting...whatever. You also missed my solo. And for what? Deliveries, jobs, parties it's all shit. If Tig had told you jump off The Golden Gate Bridge you'd have done that too right?"

Tim groaned.

"You know what Tim I'll just shut up this is getting us no where it's like talking to a fucking brick wall."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!" Tim repeated again. Julie growled, staring out the passenger side window with her arms crossed over her chest.

Jax heard doors slam in unison. He looked up and saw Tim stalk off to take Julie's clown car off the tow. Julie stomped into the office.

"Anything I can do to help you. Abercrombie?" asked Jax as he sauntered over.

"Unless you can make my girlfriend like me again …Nope."

 

Julie plopped down on the couch in front of Gemma.

"Bad day, baby?"

"That's one word for it." Julie picked up the Cosmopolitan magazine from the couch.

"Who reads Cosmo?" Julie smirked.

"Bobby, He's rather evolved for a biker."

A few minutes later, Tim poked his head in the door.

"Jules, honey," he said as he wiped his hands on a greasy scrap of fabric that might have once been a rag. "It's your alternator. It just gave out...and your radiator needed water."

"Tim, I don't have the money to fix it. Mom and Dad are scraping by now. You know I can't ask for help."

"I'll do it. Call it the club's pro bono work."

"Can you do that?" Tim looked to Gemma who nodded in approval.

"I start my internship Monday."

"It'll be finished by Sunday, baby, you have my word. Let me get my bike and I'll take you home…"

"Abercrombie…" Clay called. "Drop what you're doin' you got a delivery."

"Sir, can I take Julie home first?" Tim looked helplessly between the two.

"Won't hurt her to sit there til you get back."

Julie sighed as she got up and brushed past them. "Is Jax around?"

"In the club," Clay replied and she headed in that direction.

A few minutes later, Tim watched as Julie and Jax came out of the clubhouse. She got her helmet out of the backseat of her car. She swung onto the bike gracefully. Nestled behind Jax, she smiled at something he'd said.

"Two steps forward one step back." Tim thought ruefully. Then revved up his truck.

 

Jax enjoyed the feel of her behind him, her arms comfortably looped around his waist. He was sad the the trip had ended as quickly as it did. She hopped off the bike, spritely as ever.

"Thanks for the ride." She took off her helmet and balanced it on her hip.

"No problem… Would it be ok if I used your bathroom?"

"Sure, I'll show you the way."

Julie apartment was small but homey and tidy. A large bookshelf and the TV encompassed one wall. The couch with a drawing of an empty football field hung over it made up the opposite wall. To his left was a picture window and to his right was the kitchen.

She led him down a tiny hall and hooked right. "There ya go."

After he had relived himself and was washing his hands, he looked up into the mirror. A sticky note with a affirmation written on it was stuck to it.

"Do not waste yourself in rejection, Do not bark against the bad but chant the beauty of the good.—Emerson"

He read her curly girlish handwriting. He wasn't sure if that was meant to bolster her feelings toward Tim or just life in general, but he liked that she was the type of woman who believed in affirmations and positive thinking.

He found her trying to carry two baskets of laundry down the stairs one stacked on top of the other. The top one toppled over, spilling her clothes everywhere. They bent down and began picking things up. A black lace bra was flung on to the railing and he picked it up, balancing it by the strap on his index finger.

He smirked. "This yours?"

She blushed hotly and snatching it away.

"Aw, now Pixie don't be embarrassed …I'm just surprised is all, I took you for a solid colors only kinda girl." He stood to his full height as did she.

"You mean you thought I was boring and sheltered."

"Boring? Never... Sheltered? Well, maybe a little."

"I hate that. I hate that everyone makes assumptions about me."

She walked over to him. "You like surprises Jax?"

He couldn't help himself. He nodded yes.

"Okay then…" She yanked him down to her level and kissed him. Hard. He knew he should stop her but was powerless to do so. He wanted her, so he kissed her back thoroughly his tongue invading her mouth, which tasted of strawberries.

Finally he was able to think clearly for a second.

"What are you doing Pixie?" he whispered against her lips.

"Chanting the beauty of the good."

And it was over...she'd pushed all his buttons at once. He slammed her back into the wall, a punishing kiss that silenced her cry of surprise and pain. He lifted her, pressing her into the wall. His hands tangled in her hair pulled her head back to nibble at her neck.

"People can see us," she warned and then his phone rang, killing the moment.

He let her down to answer his phone. He could see she was starting to berate herself for this.

"No, not wrong," he mouthed to her.

"Be right there," he told Tara. He turned, leaving Julie on shaky ground, wondering what the hell she'd just done.


	13. Chapter 13

Tim worked nearly straight through the night to get Julie's car done in record time. After he finished his regular shift at Teller Morrow the next afternoon, he called her when he knew she'd be out of classes, told her it was ready and that he'd pick her up in an hour.

He went home, showered and put on clean clothes. Driving his truck over to Julie's apartment, he had butterflies in his stomach and his hands felt clammy. He kept trying to calm himself down, but he knew that he had to make Julie understand how he felt. He even considered stopping for flowers, but since the last time he'd done that for a girl hadn't worked out so well, he decided to just keep things simple.

When Tim pulled into the parking lot, Julie was sitting on the outside staircase. She tucked the book in her purse and stood up, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she slipped on her sunglasses. Tim parked the truck and then got out to open the door for her.

"Hi Tim," said Julie, awkwardly avoiding having to touch him as she hopped up into the truck.

Tim sighed and slammed the door shut. Before he was even in the truck, Julie was already staring out the window and looking like she'd rather be at the dentist. It was going to be a long trip, he just knew it.

"So...uh, how's school?" he asked as he pulled out onto the road.

Julie shrugged. "Fine."

"I never got to tell you that you danced real pretty in your recital."

Julie looked over at him sharply. "You're kidding, right?"

"What?"

"You're going to talk about my dance recital? The one where you missed the most important part because you had to do something for the club? Are you serious?"

Tim raked his fingers through his hair as he pulled up at a stop light. He looked over at Julie and could see the tension in her clenched jaw. It would have made him smile, since she was so much like her father when she got angry, except that she was still angry at him and there was absolutely nothing funny about that.

"Sorry," he said softly. "Jules, I am so sorry. If I could take it back, you know I would."

She sighed and went back to staring out the window. Tim wondered if she'd been able to hear him at all, if she was even listening. They rode in silence the rest of the way to the garage, a tense and unhappy silence that Tim didn't know how to fix. If only relationships made as much sense as cars, then he might have had half a chance.

When they got to Teller Morrow, Julie looked at him and summoned up a smile that Tim thought was probably at least 80% forced.

"Thanks for fixing my car, Tim. I do appreciate it."

"No worries. Was the least I could do for you."

Julie scrambled out of the car and followed him into the office, where Gemma was doing paperwork.

 

"Prospect, what can I do for you?" Gemma asked.

"My girlfriend's just come to pick up her car. The keys are right there," he replied, pointing to the board behind her.

"Tim, you have to stop calling me that. I haven't been your girlfriend for almost a month," said Julie, her arms crossed over her chest.

Gemma grabbed the keys and tossed them to Tim, then headed for the other door. "Sounds like you two need to have a talk. I'll see you later."

She closed the door behind her and walked over the clubhouse shaking her head. The boy sure was trying, she had to give him that. But Gemma just didn't know how this thing was going to play out and that bothered her. She liked to be able to see all the angles and Julie Taylor was still just too unpredictable for her comfort.

Gemma eased open the door to the clubhouse and stepped into the cool, dim room. It was empty and quiet, so she had a seat at the bar and lit a cigarette, letting her thoughts drift. A few minutes later, the door swung open and Jax walked in.

"What's going on?" he asked. "Why aren't you in the office?"

"Miss Pixie is in there, breaking the prospect's heart, so I left them alone," she replied, exhaling a long stream of smoke.

"Don't be too hard on her."

"Can I ask you a question?" Gemma spun around on the barstool to look her son in the eye.

He leaned back against the wall and nodded. "Yeah, sure. Go ahead."

"What is it about her?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," said Gemma, pausing for a moment to gather her thoughts. "Why are you so interested in that girl?"

"Who says I'm interested?" asked Jax as he folded his arms and brought one foot up to rest against the wall.

"I'm your mother. I know things. I see things."

Jax shook his head. "There's nothing going on between me and Julie and even if there was, what does it matter to you?"

"How's Tara?" asked Gemma.

"I don't know. We're kind of on a break, I guess. She said she needed to straighten out some things in her head or something."

"And are you going to try to stand there and tell me that you problems with Tara have absolutely nothing to do with Julie?"

"It doesn't," said Jax.

"Tara's better for you, you know that, don't you?"

Jax let out a bitter laugh. "What is with you? You hated Wendy until Tara came along, then you hated Tara until Julie came along. It doesn't make any sense."

"Hey, I'm just trying to look out for you. I'm your mother. That's my job."

"That's your job?" asked Jax as he pushed away from the wall. "I'm thirty years old and I have a kid of my own. Maybe it's time for you to think about retirement."

He strode out of the clubhouse, his arms swinging. Gemma watched him leave, thinking that her son had always looked like his father. But when Jax was angry with her, the resemblance was magnified by a thousand.

 

Jax left the clubhouse, letting the door slam behind him. Damn but his mother knew how to get to him. He took a deep breath and reminded himself that she pulled this shit all the time. He just had to let it roll off.

He started to walk over to the garage as Julie's little clown car pulled out of its parking space. He stopped and waited for her to drive up to him. She rolled down the passenger side window. He stepped up to car, put his hand on the roof and leaned down.

"You trying to avoid me, Pixie?"

Julie shook her head, but the blush rising in his cheeks made him think that was probably not the whole truth. He looked back at the garage, where Abecrombie was watching unhappily.

Jax pulled open the door and got into the car. Julie looked at him, surprised, then put the car in gear and pulled out of the driveway.

"Um, you need me to drop you off some place?" asked Julie, keeping her eyes on the road.

"Not exactly. Take a left up here."

For fifteen minutes, Jax gave directions and Julie followed them, hesitating only when he asked her to turn down the dirt logging road. She complied though and soon they came to a clearing on a hill with a view down onto the forest. Julie put the car in park and turned in her seat, looking around with wide eyes.

"So, what? Is this where you leave me for dead?" she asked, then laughed. "You should see the look on your face. I was only kidding. I don't really think that."

"Good. You shouldn't joke about that."

"Sorry." Julie looked down, her long hair curtaining her face. Jax reached out on brushed her hair back behind her ear.

"You and me, we need to talk."

Julie shrugged. "About what?"

"About whatever's going on here. And don't pretend like you don't know," he said as he stretched his arm out behind her seat and leaned over toward her, crowding into her space, pleased when she held her ground.

"OK, maybe there's something going on but I really don't know what it is," she said softly, leaning closer until he could feel her breath on his neck.

"Well, then maybe we should find out." He slid his arm down around her and pulled her close, then kissed her, tentatively at first, but more urgently as he felt her hand tangle in his hair while her other hand slid down his chest.

He slipped a hand to her blouse and started to undo the buttons, but she pulled away.

"What's wrong?"

"Not here. Not like this," she said, slightly out of breath.

He smiled and ran his thumb lightly over her bottom lip. "Well, then Pixie, just tell me when and where. I'll be there."


	14. Chapter 14

Tim walked into the office and looked to where Jax and Gemma stood speaking.

"I finished the Jeep…Am I free to go or does the club need me?"

"We'll call if we need you Abercrombie… you can go." Jax said.

"Thanks."

"Where ya headed Honey? Got a new girl?" Gemma asked.

"Uh, nope same girl... she had finals all week and her mom hasn't heard from her so I'm going to make sure she's still alive…That little calico kitten still around here? I was going to take it to Jules since it'll freeze here and I can't have it at my apartment."

Jax's eyebrows quirked.

"What?" Tim asked.

"Nothing…I think it was hiding under that decrepit piece of crap Bobby calls his bike."

Tim nodded and left

"Abercrombie is pure at heart…that won't work in the club Jax." Gemma murmured.

 

Tim found the kitten he'd named Jesse James curled into one of the drawers of his toolbox.

"You weren't there five seconds ago dude…at least I think you're a dude." Nestling the kitten to his chest, he zipped up his cut, got on his bike and drove to Julie's

Julie heard a bike rumbling in the parking lot. She had just called Jax and left a message, so she knew he couldn't have gotten here that fast. She looked through her blinds and Tim stood at her door.

She swung the door open. "Tim what are you doing here? We talked about this. I'm not your girlfriend anymore."

"Well I think we're both adults so I think we can be friends…I like being your friend, Jules."

Julie fought a smile. "Fine."

"I brought you presents."

"Presents?"

Tim held up a pint of mint chip Ice cream. Then unzipped his cut enough for the kitten to poke its head through.

"Aw what's her name?"

"Her? How do you know it's a her?"

"All Calico's are girls, Timmy." She moved back to let him in the door. He kissed her quick and light on the mouth, then caught himself.

"Oops, friendly kiss? It's just habit."

"It's ok. Thanks for the ice cream and the cat."

"Well I promised your mom I'd check on you and I know Ice cream is like your comfort thing. The cat needed a home…and you need a friend less flighty than Sadie so the kitten was a good option."

Julie laughed. "Tim, you're rambling."

"Am I? I'm nervous, just a little not a lot but…"

"Tim, take a breath. It's just me."

"That's the problem, Julie, you trip me up."

She opened the ice cream walking into the kitchen she got a spoon bumping the drawer closed with her hip.

"Why?" she dished up a bite. "Want some?"

"Nah, mint's not my thing… You expect things of me, Julie."

"That's because I know what you are capable of, Tim," she said around a mouthful of ice cream

"I don't want to fight." And his hands were on his hips. She was irritating him.

"Neither do I."

"How's school? Your finals?"

"Fine, easier than I thought… How's the club? Work?"

"Keeps me busy. I miss you."

"I'll always be here for you, Tim. As a friend." Her phone rang, cutting off further comment. She picked it up off the couch and answered it.

"Hi," she said as she smiled and half-turned away from Tim. "No…yes, I know I did but I have company…ok I'll meet you in... say an hour. Ok bye." She hung up.

"Who was that?"

"Just a study buddy…we're all meeting up to celebrate surviving finals." She lied easily.

Not five minutes later, Bobby called Tim. "Yeah ok…I'm on it." He hung up. "I'm sorry Jules I gotta run…have fun with your study group."

"Ok…Tim whatever it is your doing? Be careful."

"I will…and Jules?"

"I wish things were different."

"Me too Tim." He shut the door "Me too." She said to herself. The kitten cocked her head and jumped to the window when she heard Tim's bike start.

"Come on Jesse lets go get ready to meet Jax."

 

Julie sat parked in the spot Jax had brought her to. Luckily, she remembered how to get there. She just really hoped Jax got here fast. This was a pretty spot but it creeped her out being alone there.

Then she heard the familiar rev of a bike. Tim had educated her to the fact that Jax rode a Harley-Davidson Dyna Super Glide Sport. He shut off his bike and got in her car without a word.

"So, why am I here Julie?"

"I'm not really sure I just…" she looked over at him finally. "Don't know what this is or even what it means or why I even want to figure it out but I do."

He pounced kissing her.

"Wait! I wasn't finished…"

"Right sorry," said Jax as he pulled back.

"You and Tara? I really don't want the home wrecker label."

Jax shrugged "Club life is hard sometimes. She wanted a break to clear her head or some shit, so I gave her what she wanted. We're not together."

"Tim can never know."

"Why?"

"Because he's looking for family in the club. He doesn't have a family, Jax. His family consists of his brother and Jason, who are both too busy with their own lives and problems to really bother with Tim's little identity crisis, which is what this is. I refuse to hurt him."

"But you aren't his girl anymore, Julie."

"We're friends and he still has some kind of feelings for me. When we were in high school, his Billy brother took up with one of exes and it was horrible. Tim ended up homeless for a while because of that. Right now, you're like a brother, a mentor, and an idol all rolled into one. If he feels like you're stealing his girl, it'll kill him. I can't purposely hurt him by flaunting whatever this is or will be...that's just how it has to be, Jax."

"Okay …whatever you say Pixie." He kissed her and all her doubts about things went "poof."

 

They had sat in her car for hours, talking and making out, before Julie worked up the nerve to invite him back to her place. Luckily, Sadie had gone home to Laguna Beach for the weekend and wasn't due back until late Monday.

Julie could feel Jax staring at her intently as she unlocked the forty locks Tim had installed on her door a few months ago. Finally the last lock gave. She pushed the door open. He turned her, swiftly planting his lips on hers. Tongues tangling for space in each other's mouths as he backed her through the door kicking it closed.

She concentrated on just trying to breathe. As his lips moved lower along her neck, his tongue swiping across her throat. She sighed and felt his slow smile bloom across her skin. She shoved off his cut. The sight of his gun in its holster stopped her short.

Jax made sure to catch her eye. "Safety's on Julie."

He shrugged out of the holster dropping it on the living room floor with his cut.

"Right, Right sorry."

When he picked her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist. She pressed her lips to his.

"The bedroom... which way, Pixie?"

"Last room on the left." His hands crept beneath her shirt. Her skin was warm and soft beneath his hands as he pulled the shirt over her head and tossed it aimlessly at the floor.

He eased her bra strap down, lavishing attention on her shoulder. He removed the bra with one hand tossing it aside. He hitched her higher latching his mouth to her breast, still moving down the hall

She sighed tossing her head back and keeping her eyes closed. She was afraid if she opened them, she would freeze up. She knew she wasn't Jax Teller's usual type.

Lost in the warmth of his lips and the scratchy feel of his beard on her skin, she was slightly disoriented when he laid her on the cool cotton sheets of her bed. She watched as he shucked his clothes. Doubts pricked at the edges of her thoughts.

Until he lay over her again, kissing his way down her chest and then stopped and began working her jeans down. She was actually doing this… her mother would kill her! She bit down on her bottom lip and only was halfway successful in stifling the bubbling laughter in her throat.

"What?" Jax looked up smiling.

"Nothing, it's just I think you're the boy my mom warned me about." She smiled.

"No, Julie I don't think her imagination was this good…" he silenced her sweet little laugh with a deep explorative kiss.

"Condoms?" he whispered against her lips.

"Top drawer…"

She knew it was wrong to compare Tim and Jax, but she couldn't help herself. She had a total of four sexual partners. Matt, of course. The Matt rebound whose name she couldn't recall. (That was the last time she had margaritas mixed by Devin.) Then Tim. And now Jax.

Tim had blown poor Matt out of the water completely and she barely remembered the rebound was surprisingly gentle and attentive... you got the feeling he genuinely loved women and wanted to please you when you were with him.

Jax was completely different he wasn't much for foreplay and was rough though not violent. She could sense a feeling of desperation in it or maybe he was just so used to getting what he wanted that it made him careless. The sex wasn't bad. It was satisfying and a little terrifying, but still good. It just wasn't how she expected it to be. Would she be back for more? Probably…most likely…ok definitely but Jax was going to take some getting used to.

He lay on his stomach, turning his face to her he smiled. "I can feel you looking at me, What Pixie?"

"Nothing it's just your back tat…wow ouch…"

"It stung a little…"

"I know it's like your holy grail and all but it's a Fugly grail…"

Jax laughed. "Yeah I didn't get a say in designing it…"

"All I Keep thinking is…The Reapers nose is going to be in your ass crack when you're eighty…"

Jax laughed. "You mean if I live that long."

"That's not funny, Jax."

"That's life in SAMCRO, baby."

 

Julie was grateful to the club for fixing her car for free so she decided to bake some cookies for them. Besides it gave her the slightest of reasons to see Jax.

So with her plate of cookies, she walked right in as though she had every right to be there. Even though this place made her nervous as hell.

"Well hi there Miss Taylor…" Juice stole a cookie off the platter. "Are these safe to eat or are you poisoning Tim?"

"Very funny Juice. It's a thank you for fixing my car."

Bobby walked over "We didn't do that, hun. It was all Abercrombie. You take those cookies to him."

"Ok where is he?"

"By the Jukebox lookin' like shit."

She headed that way. She noticed Jax watching her from the bar. Her momentum was stopped as Tig stood in front of her taking a cookie off the plate.

"What don't you get little-Suzie-home-maker? He don't want you around."

"You know what, Tig?"

"What Darlin'?" he bit into the cookie.

"Tim's a big boy. If he doesn't want me around he can tell me… oh, and 'Darlin,' I hope you choke on that damn cookie…"

"I'd move out of the lady's way if I were you Tig." Jax called out easily. Tig promptly moved.

Julie was maybe fifteen feet away from Tim, she saw what no else seemed to notice. He'd hurt his shoulder, again.

"Julie hi baby." Tim mumbled drunkenly.

"Hi Tim." She set the cookies down. "Are you sick? You don't look great Tim."

"Just pulled my shoulder is all I'm ok."

Julie shot a dirty look at the girl hanging on Tim's bad shoulder. "Whoever you are you need to get as far away from me as fast as possible."

Julie made her best "I'm Tami Taylor and I mean business face" and the girl scampered away.

"That's kinda real fuckin' scary how much you looked like your mom just now," said Tim with a smile.

"Heat or ice, Tim?"

"No I'm fine baby, but you can hang on my good side."

She prodded his shoulder, causing him to cry out in pain. "Tim you just yelped at me. You are not fine….Now heat or ice?"

"Ice, please."

"Ok, meet me in the bathroom and take your shirt off." She walked over to the fridge near Jax.

"Something wrong?"

"Tim's shoulder is outta whack I'm helping him ice it."

"What's wrong with his shoulder?"

"Dislocated it his senior year at the state game and now acts up if he over works himself. I need ice, plastic bags, Saran wrap, and tape. Duct or sport, either one will work…"

"Ooh kinky," Tig called out.

"Oh shut up already, I'm wrapping his shoulder not having a sexcapade." Julie rolled her eyes as Jax helped her put ice in the bags.

Julie collected her supplies and the bags of ice and then joined Tim in the bathroom. They were sandwiched into the tiny space, facing each other. Tim still wore his shirt. She knew he was having trouble moving so she gingerly began undoing the buttons.

Her fingertips gliding gently down his skin made him shiver. He fought the urge to literally purr. Most would think he'd had tons of sex since Julie, but it wasn't like that at all...just one or two very unsatisfying one-nighters. She eased the shirt down his shoulder and arms it hit the floor.

"How'd you do this?" she whispered.

"Lifted part of an engine I'm rebuilding…lifting by myself wasn't smart." Julie put the ice bags on his shoulder. He hissed through his teeth partly because of the sudden cold and partly because of the sharp pain radiating in his shoulder.

"Sorry, Timmy. I'm trying to be gentle."

"Baby we can play doctor all you want…I'm game." He smirked.

"Tim Riggins!" She went to slap his chest but stopped in time. "That was dirty."

"Yeah, it was, but it made you smile." He chuckled richly. She set about wrapping and taping everything into place. With a final piece of tape stuck to his side she was finished.

"All done, Thirty-three."

"You'd have made Mack proud nice work Taylor." He smiled at her. She brushed a stray lock of hair out of his face before she could stop herself.

"Habit," she said, echoing his earlier statement.

He wanted to kiss her, god did he want to, so much that he pressed his lips together to stop himself.

"Thanks Jules," he said instead.

"No, problem. Be careful you don't want to dislocate it again."

"I'll be careful baby…" he said, hoping she realized that he was talking about more than his shoulder.

"Remember to switch to heat and take some Ibuprofen."

"I will."

Her phone rang and she turned away to answer it.

"Hi Sadie…What ok…where the hell are you? What no, sadly the altar boys without pants aren't real…stop getting high and watching Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist…Sadie! Sadie! You stay put till I get there, I don't care if they look like the entire cast of Twilight that bar is creepy."

She stepped out of the bathroom, noting that Jax happened to be at the exact right angle to watch them through the door. It bugged her. She turned back to Tim and said, "I made you oatmeal raisin cookies without the raisins like you like …just hope Juice hasn't eaten them all."

"I forgot how crazy Sadie is. What bar is she at that gives you the creeps?"

"The Hairy Dog."

"Jules, you shouldn't be goin' there alone...I'd go with you to rescue her but I'm a little drunk myself…Hey, Jax, think you can go with her?"

Jax nodded, but Julie tried to protest. "I'll be fine. She said it's just full of frat boys tonight. I'll be in and out in two seconds."

"No way you should be going by yourself," said Jax, stepping into her space.

Julie put up her hands and sighed. "Fine, Teller, if you're going, then let's go! Bye everybody."


	15. Chapter 15

Chibs refused to let Jax rescue Julie's roommate alone, so the two rode out together in front of Julie's car. On the short drive, Jax ran through possible plans and potential outcomes. He felt calm, but ready for a fight if push came to shove.

Pulling up in front of the Hairy Dog, he could judge from the parked cars that it was unlikely that the bar was full of frat boys, as Sadie had reported. It looked much more likely that the place was stuffed to the rafters with Darby's guys. Great.

"You have a plan?" asked Chibs as he dropped the kickstand and stepped off his bike.

Jax shook his head. "I'd prefer Julie not go in there at all, but I don't know how we'd find this girl and convince her to come with us without her."

"I'm standing right here, you know?" said Julie, annoyed. Jax had been so focused on the problem at hand, he hadn't noticed that she had parked her car and joined them. He looked over at her car, which was pulled straight in to a parking space near the bar's door.

"Sorry, Pixie. Give me your car keys."

Julie handed them over with a puzzled look. Jax got in her car, turned it around, and backed it in so it was ready for fast escape. He left the driver's door opened and also opened the back door.

"Jax, the car's still running."

"I know."

"What if someone steals it?"

Chibs laughed. "Nobody's going to steal your car."

"All right, we go in, Julie, you tell Sadie to come with us. Chibs, you carry her if you have to. Julie, you need to get her in your car as fast as possible. just dump her in the backseat and then drive. We'll catch up with you."

Julie nodded and it seemed like she appreciated the seriousness of the situation. Jax stepped in front of her and walked over to the door, making sure the safety was off on his gun. He leaned over toward Chibs.

"Things go bad, you get out of here and make sure they get home safe, okay?"

Chibs shot him a look. "I'm not leaving you here alone. Once they're in the car, they'll be fine."

Jax wanted to argue but there was no time. Julie pushed past them, opened the door of the bar and looked around, standing on tiptoe and craning her neck to see. Jax was relieved to see the place wasn't as full as it could be, but his stomach sank when he saw a pretty girl leaning against a pool table, talking to one of Darby's worst guys.

"There she is," said Julie, pointing toward the pool table.

"Great," muttered Jax as he nodded to Chibs. They followed Julie to the back of the bar.

He didn't hear what Julie said to Sadie, but as soon as the girl shook her head, Chibs scooped her up, tossed her over his shoulder and headed for the door, dragging Julie behind him. Darby's thug tried to stop Chibs, but Jax pulled out his gun.

"The lady's going home now," he said, his voice steady and firm.

The guy shook his head, then lunged toward the gun. Jax fired once in the air to keep the guy's asshole buddies from joining in. Then he hit the guy in the face with butt of the gun and punched him a few more times for good measure as he slid down. When the guy was down on the ground, Jax walked out, his eyes daring anyone to try something.

He was nearly at the door when he felt the punch in his kidney, followed by a tight headlock and a punch to the temple. Jax drove his elbow back with force and tried to twist out of the grip.

"I suggest you let him go, sharpish," said Chibs, pointing a gun at the attacker.

Jax felt the arm loosen and he pushed it off, then stumbled forward. Part of him wanted to turn around and beat the crap out of the guy, but he knew Julie was driving back to Lodi, alone, with an unpredictable and possibly angry drunk in the backseat.

"Thanks, man," said Jax as he pushed past Chibs.

They got on their bikes and within a few blocks had caught up with Julie. Jax pulled up next to the car and could see that Sadie appeared to be asleep or passed out in the backseat. He dropped back and followed the car to Julie's apartment building.

Jax parked his bike next to Julie's car and stepped off, feeling a bit of an ache in his back where the guy had punched him. He pulled off his helmet and brushed his hair back. The parking lot was darker than he remembered because a couple of bulbs had burned out. He made a mental note to remind Julie to talk to the landlord about it.

Julie had the back door open and was pleading with Sadie to move, but the girl was out for the count.

"I got it, Pixie. Go open the door," said Jax motioning for Chibs to go with her. He waited until they were half-way up the stairs and then hauled Sadie out and carried her upstairs and into Julie's apartment.

He deftly navigated through the living room to the hallway. The door to Sadie's room was across the hall from Julie's and he stepped into the room tentatively. He felt around with his elbow until he found the lights switch, then clumsily nudged the lights on.

Unlike Julie's room, Sadie's room was a mess. Jax picked his way carefully through the clothes and books on the floor. He deposited the girl on the bed, pulled off her shoes, and rolled her on her side.

When he returned to the living room, he found Julie standing there awkwardly while Chibs walked around, looking at the pictures on the walls.

"Thank you," said Julie as Jax walked over to her. He smiled and started to say that it was nothing, but she cut him off, concern in her voice. "Jax, you're bleeding."

Jax rubbed his temple and was surprised to find that she was right. "It's nothing. You have a first aid kit or something?"

"In the bathroom, under the sink."

"Thanks. Give me two minutes and I'll be good as new," he said with a wink and a smile, not wanting her to worry about him.

In the bathroom, he found the first aid kit, then washed out the cut. It was just at his hairline, about an inch long and not very deep, but head wounds always bled an annoying amount, regardless of how deep they were. He found a couple of butterfly bandages and pressed them over the wound to keep it from bleeding. Then he washed his hands, tidied up his mess, and went back into the living room.

"I'm going to have a smoke. Julie, lovely to see you as always," said Chibs before he stepped outside, closing the door behind him.

"I'm really, really sorry about what happened. Sadie, well, she's going to be spending about six weeks helping take care of a sick aunt in San Diego and she's gone a bit crazy, trying to cram six weeks of fun into a couple of weekends." Julie spoke fast and twisted her hands together, awkwardness and discomfort radiating from her like heat from a road.

"Julie, it's fine. Really. She's safe. You're safe. That's all I care about," said Jax. He stepped forward and hugged Julie, smiling as he felt her relax against him.

She pulled back and looked up at him, her gaze drifting from his eyes to his mouth. He leaned down a little and she met him halfway for a kiss that started out sweet and quickly turned more urgent. Her hands tangled in his hair as she pressed against him, the unexpected shift in her weight pushing him slightly off balance. He leaned back against the wall and pulled her closer, his hands tight on her hips.

But then he reminded himself that Chibs was waiting for him. That her roommate was passed out in the next room. That they were trying to keep this quiet and contained. He broke off the kiss with a sigh and pressed his forehead into hers.

"Chibs is waiting for me. I kind of need to go," he whispered.

"I know," said Julie, stepping back and tucking her shirt back in.

He put his hands on his shoulders. "I'll see you soon."

Julie nodded and bit her lip. Jax could tell that she wanted to say something, maybe ask him when, but her stubbornness and pride was stopping her. He kissed her forehead and walked over to the door.

"Lock up behind me."

"Of course."

Jax closed the door and took a deep breath. He lit a cigarette then walked down the stairs. Chibs was sitting on the last step, so Jax sat down next to him.

"How long has that been going on?" asked Chibs with a raised eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?"

"You and Julie."

"There's nothing going on between me and Julie," insisted Jax, looking away.

"Don't lie to me, brother. You knew your way around there pretty damn well."

Jax sighed and shook his head. "Not long. And she doesn't want anyone to know...What? Don't look at me like that. Tara left me, remember? And Julie broke up with Tim way before."

"And so...this serious or a rebound or what?"

"I don't know what it is," said Jax as he dropped his cigarette. He stood up, ground it out with his heel, and then walked over to his bike.

"Your secret's safe with me," said Chibs as he put his helmet on.

"I know," said Jax. "You know, when Unser retires and Hale gets his job, maybe you could take Hale's job - put those detective skills to good use."

"I don't have detective skills. I just know you," said Chibs with a smile as he started up his bike.


	16. Chapter 16

Jax woke from a deep sleep to find Julie gone. Getting up to look for her, he followed her voice until he was standing in the shadows in the hall.

Julie listened to Tyra's Skype ring, waiting patiently for her to pick up. Twirling a strand of her hair she plopped down on the couch facing Matt's sketch of Hermann field.

"Hey Jules…"

"Hey Tyra… you don't look so good you ok?"

"Yeah, just tired double shifts, but I couldn't miss our Skype time even if it is two am…Uh-oh…I know that face… What's up, Mama?"

"I'm in the weeds here Tyra."

"Define weeds. We talking dandelions or giant Julie-eating-weeds?" Tyra smirked.

"Definitely Julie Eaters."

"What happened?"

"That biker I told you about?"

"The one who looks like Kurt Cobain?"

"That's the one. I'm fucking him…and it's complicated." Tyra was dead silent. She huffed out a breath that fluttered her newly grown bangs

"Say something!"

"Uh…Why?"

"Um, I felt like it. Was mad at Tim. It was cool to have someone like that want me and yet it scares me. Take your pick."

"Ok let's start with the first one…as long as you were safe you did nothing wrong. You and Tim are broken up, so no harm no foul except - and I'm not usually one to take up for Riggs- doing that out of anger isn't you Jules…Maybe that club has changed you both more than you think."

"Maybe it has changed us, but we can't go back and I refuse to become like Gemma." Jax leaned forward, barely missing the floorboard that squeaked as he listened more closely now.

"Gemma?"

"Jax's mother and club Matriarch…bitch is scary. There is no one like her in Dillon." Jax smiled. He couldn't help it "bitch is scary." Though Julie was not at her most eloquent, the statement rang true.

"Which one of them you love?"

"Now see that's the thing…I tell myself I don't love Tim and that it's stupid to love Jax, but then if I don't, then why do the crow eaters bug me so much?" He watched Julie shrug and shift the laptop on her stomach,

"Crow Eaters?" Tyra's brows crinkled.

"Club groupies who want in any sons' pants that they can get, but they all have soft spots for Tim and Jax." And her eyes rolled.

"Maybe you do love them. Maybe it's just insecurity…Jules….just be careful…"

Jax decided not to press his luck and pretended use the restroom.

"I will…" Julie heard the toilet flush. "I think Jax is up…but thanks for the talk Tyra love you…go catch a wink or two…same day next week?"

"I will…yep same day and I love you too." Julie powered down her laptop and headed back to bed. She found Jax leaning in the bathroom door, scratching his bare chest.

"How long you been awake?" she asked.

"Just noticed you were missing." He wrapped himself around her, pressing his lips to the crook of her neck, making her brain cloud.

-/-

Jax strolled through Julie's kitchen, making himself at home. He decided to make himself a sandwich while Julie finished talking to her mom. Julie's laptop was open on the island with a document titled "my thoughts" minimized. Before he could think too much, he opened it.

"This scares me. This whole thing terrifies me. Tim and the feelings that still bubble up when I least expect., because he does something sweet, thoughtful or funny. Then there's Jax. His intensity is frightening sometimes and I know there is no leaving SAMCRO for him….Tim and I aren't made for this part of society. We know it or at least I do. Tim is looking for something akin to what he had before…I could tell him he won't find what he's looking for here, but it will go in one ear and out the other….Pick your battles Julie Mom would say… I could stop coming around and go back-"

"You wanted to know something you could have just asked me, Jax." Julie said and he froze.

"Pixie I –"

"Oh no you don't…don't be all cute and Jax-like! Because I caught you. I caught you snooping." She set down her coffee mug so hard the force rang up her arm.

"Jax-like?" Jax smirked.

"That! That right there! You're doing it, you smirky, snoopy bastard."

"Ok, ok Pix…sorry I snooped. I just feel like you're backing away from me and I'm not sure why and it was there and it's no excuse but…"

"I'm not backing away from you, Jax. How can I back away when the only time we spend together is all dirty and secretive and wrong and between my sheets most of the time?"

"This isn't wrong Jules…and it's more than sex and you know it."

She tried to shake off the wrongness of him calling her Jules. Her parents called her Jules. Tim called her Jules. Jax didn't.

"Let's go somewhere for the weekend … San Francisco isn't far they have the museum of modern art… you'd like it," said Jax.

"I have to work I have a shift at The Coffee Bean and write my review on Kafka's The Metamorphosis."

"Get someone to cover your shift and your laptop will fit in my saddle bags. We won't have to hide," he added, pulling her to him.

Shit! He had her and he knew it. "Okay."

-/-

She packed a change of clothes, undergarments, her jersey from powder puff to sleep in, her makeup and tooth paste along with her wallet, all in her messenger bag. With her laptop stowed away in Jax's saddle bag, she secured her messenger bag around her and off they went.

Julie had never really just gone off randomly for the weekend. She didn't count the Austin thing with Matt because she'd planned everything like a Nazi with OCD. This time she was free and safe and happy, with the sun-warmed leather of Jax's cut caressing her cheek and the hum of the wind blotting out the world. It was perfect.

Crossing the Bay Bridge, Jax reached down and brushed his fingertips down the back of her hand where it lay joined with the other around his waist. With that simple touch, all her worries lifted.

They dropped their stuff and the haul from the vending machines on to the bureau. Jax threw himself on the bed.

"Get up, Jackson," she commanded

"Why?" He gave her a laughing smile.

"They never wash those comforter things and they're full of bugs, diseases.. it's gross." He got up. She ripped the comforter off and tossed it aside.

"Sometimes I truly love you Julie." His offhanded confession of love caught her heart off rhythm. Before she could think another thought about it, his lips were on hers and they were falling into bed.

She sat in the bed wrapped in a sheet, her laptop across her lap. Jax lay beside her facing the opposite direction watching "Goodfellas," flicking his cigarette ashes into a little plastic cup. The sheet barely covered his rear end. Julie smiled and went back to her paper.

Sometime later….

Jax's fingertips skated around her ankle as he kissed the tiny tattoo that resided there. She kicked at him lightly.

"Would you ever get another one?" he asked.

She looked up. "You mean for someone? The only way I get branded is if the guy marries me first."

His hand slid up her calf to tease at the back of her knee. "What's your book report about?"

"A man who wakes up as a rat ...gross and depressing really."

His fingers crept up the inside of her thigh, bypassing where she wanted him. She moaned as they seemed to skip teasingly on her hip where his hand finally rested.

He kissed her shoulder, collarbone, and neck. He moved her laptop out of his way with his free hand. Catching her behind the knees he pulled her lower in the bed. Kissing her slowly, he slipped himself home. Her surprised and satisfied "Ahhh..." fell onto his lips. He tasted of Reeses peanut butter cups and cigarettes as he filled her with warmth and his sure and strong strokes filled the holes in her soul she didn't know she had.

His hands were everywhere, skimming teasing all up and down her body. His slow, unhurried pace was different than usual. His breathing deep and steady as he never took his eyes from hers. She wrapped herself around him, clinging to the moment as it started to race toward its end.

Becoming lost in each other, she arched into him, meeting him thrust for thrust. Upon climax, she cried his name. With a muttered curse, her name came out in a groan through gritted teeth to die in her hair. He came deep within her body, collapsing on top of her before rolling off bonelessly. She would carry this with her always.

A few minutes later he said "You can finish your rat boy paper now."

"I need water first."

-/-

Julie woke to the smell of bacon and eggs and Jax having a harsh argument on his cell phone. She got up and crept to the bathroom. Jax smiled at her from the table where he sat.

"Clay, I've got someone with me… and I'm on vacation. How'd you find me?"

Julie quickly relieved herself, flushing the toilet and washing her hands before she returned to the table.

"Yeah Ok I'm with Julie. Keep your mouth shut about it. Fine I'll go tie up the deal but then don't call me again til Sunday night."

She removed the dome covering her breakfast plate a garden omelette. She had to smile. Jax remembered.

"Don't worry, he won't say anything. I have to finish up some club business. One of my associates is in the city and wants to meet. It shouldn't take more than a few hours and Chibs is here to stand guard by the door if you need someone." She was a little scared she had to be guarded, but didn't show it.

"I trust your judgment." She forced a smile, cutting into her egg.

"While I'm gone, I'd like you to read this." He tapped a thick book that lay on the table.

"Ok."

Julie put her hair in curlers after Jax was gone, then sat Indian style on the bed and started the manuscript.

 

Good old ladies can make or break a club. But it seems equally true that a club can break even a strong old lady.

An old lady gets all of the hassle of the club with none of the benefits. We have the luxury of brotherhood. All an old lady has is her old man, which doesn't provide any comfort when it's 2 am and he's out on a run.

It's the worry and the loneliness that will break an old lady. I've thought long and hard about this and it always comes back to honesty. If you want an old lady, pick the right one and then confide in her.

Trust, honesty, and love is the only glue that will keep you together and, more importantly, keep her together. You have to give her something real to hold onto when you're not there.

 

When her curlers were cool, she got up and dressed in her black rushed halter top that Tyra had sent her, dark jeans and black ankle boots. Returning to the bed, she finished the book.

It was around three hours later when Jax returned as Julie was putting the finishing touches on her makeup.

He whistled lowly through his teeth. "Pretty little Pixie…"

"Not too much?"

"Nah, baby you're perfect… you read the book?"

"I did. You have one helluva challenge on your hands, Jackson." She pointed at him with her mascara wand before screwing it back in place and putting it her bag. She walked over to kiss him, his hands diving into the back pocket of her jeans.

"Ready to go?" he asked and she nodded. They walked out of the hotel hand-in-hand. Chibs gave Julie a wink.

Inside the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, they walked through many exhibits, still holding hands and occasionally commenting on certain pieces. In the photography exhibit, Julie stopped in front of a black and white shot of Lombard Street.

"It seems lonely…" She murmured.

Jax stood with his arms around her waist his chin resting on her head. "How so?" he asked.

"There are houses and cars all bunched together along the street but no one is actual on the street. Like the sharp turns and steepness scare people off."

"Looks like it'd be fun to cruise my bike down."

Julie laughed. "Only you Jackson Teller."

After they'd seen everything they wanted to, it was time for lunch.

"I surfed the net and found a lunch spot. It's not far from here we can walk." Julie said

"Ok, a walk sounds good. …" Jax replied. They passed by a junk shop. Julie dragged Jax back to the shop and took pictures with her phone.

"I can make that." She pointed to a door sign that had "Howdy" written in horseshoes.

"So, we're idea-stealing? Definitely been hanging with me too long Pixie. What are we idea stealing for?"

"Tim's birthday is coming up."

"Oh…"

"Yeah" She smiled at him. "Ok Teller lets go I'm hungry."

The place Julie had found was a fancy sandwich shop. She had the apple chevre sandwich and he had the fried chicken sandwich. They shared a salad while sitting on a park bench outside the shop, people watching.

"Gee that's healthy." Julie smirked as Jax bit into his sandwich but he just shrugged, giving her a smile.

"Lets play a game. Pick a passerby and tell me their story," Julie said.

"Ok you start," Jax replied.

"I feel I must warn you I'm pretty good, did this a lot for my creative writing class in high school."

"Just go Pix," he laughed.

"Ok ok," she sipped her soda. "That girl." She pointed to a redhead in a trim business suit walking stiffly. "Has a weird soap opera-ish name like Daria St. James, is career obsessed, works as a junior associate at that law office where her boss bends her over the desk and she has seven cats at home all named after the seven dwarfs."

"Go again so I can think a minute."

"Ok, see that guy across the street? His name's Phil. He lives in his car, living on instant Mac Vienna sausages, you know the canned ones? He works part time at that Starbucks and he makes practically no money. He lives for the acting troupe he's in here in town. On the outside, it looks like his life has hit the shitter, but not to him. He's living the dream in his mind. He's giving all those secret people who live inside him a voice."

"You really are good at this. It scares me."

"There are worlds full of people in my head. Why do you think I'm an English and journalism major? Your turn," she shrugged.

"See the guy in the hot dog suit handing out flyers on the corner? He's incredibly smart but lacks social skills so he has that job. He's currently warring between shoving that flyer down that screaming kid's throat and trying to figure out many flights he'll have to climb in that office building to sufficiently and painlessly as possible end it all, because let's face it, life as weenie man sucks."

"Jackson, seriously a suicidal hot dog, really?"

"I tried baby."

/-/

Once home Julie was happy but still lost. The manuscript made her more confused Jax was a lot of fun and she truly liked him but his life still scared her. She was no closer to answers than she was before and they were still a secret. Maybe she should call her mom for advice but she didn't know if Tami could remain objective. Julie wasn't sure of anything anymore.


	17. Chapter 17

Tim had a battered Volvo up on the lift and was about to start working on its suspension when Jax called him over.

"We need you, nothing difficult, just a little muscle in case things go south. Think you can handle it?"

Tim half-shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, I can handle it."

Five minutes later, Jax, Chibs and Tim pulled out of the Teller-Morrow lot and headed out of town. Tim had no idea where they were going or why. He knew not to ask questions but he also picked up on things. Jax was unhappy and maybe even a little nervous. Chibs was grim. Whatever was going on, Tim was pretty sure he didn't like it.

A half-hour later, they took an access road off the highway and drove on progressively smaller roads until they ended up at a park near a lake. There was a boathouse near the dock and several picnic tables. A group of Mayans sat at one of the tables.

Tim followed Jax and Chibs halfway to where the Mayans were sitting. Then Jax stopped him when they were about halfway there.

"Abecrombie, I'm going to need you to wait here. Keep an eye on things, okay?"

"Sure," said Tim as he looked around. He put his hands in his pockets and just waited. He had no idea what he was supposed to be looking for. He couldn't hear what was going on at the table, but he could see that Jax seemed more relaxed as the conversation went on.

Tim was nearly getting bored when he heard a car pull into the parking lot. On instinct, he stepped behind a tree to watch. An older guy in a rumpled suit got out of the car. He was average height and had a bit of a beer belly. The guy started to walk down toward the picnic tables, his hand awkwardly in his pocket, which definitely got Tim's attention.

The guy walked past where Tim was, not even noticing him. Up close, Tim could see the guy was in bad shape, probably hadn't slept in days and looked like he'd been crying. Shortly after passing by Tim, the guy took his hand out of his pocket. It was shaking and clutching a gun.

"Shit," muttered Tim. The guy took a few more steps, then pointed the gun at the table and began shouting.

"Alvarez, you bastard. You killed my daughter. You sold her that poison and now she's dead."

The Mayans jumped up from the table and made to grab their guns, but the guy fired a shot over their heads.

"You. Killed. Her."

Jax got up from the table slowly, hands up in a placating gesture. "Look, man, I'm real sorry about what happened to your daughter, but if you just put the gun down, we can talk about it."

"Stay where you are. I don't want to hurt you. I only want to hurt him," shouted the guy, pointing the gun at Alvarez.

The guy was about 20 feet away from Tim and had no idea he was there. Tim didn't think, he just reacted. He burst away from the tree like he was coming off the line of scrimmage. He pointed his shoulder at the guy and then tackled him, lifting and then slamming him to the ground.

The guy was so surprised, he dropped the gun and it skittered a few feet away. It only took the guy a few seconds to figure out that Tim was younger, stronger, faster, and fitter. He barely even struggled.

"I'm going to let you up, okay? Can I do that? You're not going to cause any more trouble, are you?"

The guy's eyes were dead, resigned. All the fight had gone out of him.

Tim got up and then held out a hand to help the guy up. Two of Alvarez's guys moved in, but Tim stepped up to them.

"Just let him go, man. He's upset and he did something stupid, but it's not going to happen again, right?" said Tim.

The guy shook his head and mumbled something. Alvarez said something in Spanish and the two guys nodded.

"Get out of here," Tim hissed at the guy, who blinked a few times and then took the advice.

The two Mayans started to chase, but Tim tripped one of them, which caused the other one to throw a punch at Tim that he easily dodged. The other Mayan was off the ground and he went after Tim, catching his arm and pulling it up and back. The pain caused Tim to see red and he lashed out like a wild animal, desperately trying to dislodge the guy.

"Enough," called Jax. "Stop it."

Tim could dimly hear Jax telling Alvarez to call off his guys. But the pain in his bad shoulder was so intense, he thought he might pass out. It felt like hours but logically Tim knew it was only seconds and then it was over.

"Everyone just calm down," said Jax.

Tim stumbled away from the Mayans, rubbing his shoulder.

"Now, Tim here saved your life, so you should probably be thanking him, not having your guys beat the shit out of him."

Alvarez grumbled. "It was our problem. None of your business."

"Okay, next time, we'll just let the crazy guy shoot you," said Jax.

Alvarez frowned. "All right. Thank you. Now are we done here?"

"Yeah, I think we got everything done that we needed to get done." Jax held out his hand and Alvarez shook it.

"You okay?" asked Jax as they walked back up to their bikes.

Tim nodded, even though he knew he was anything but okay. He was shaken up and could barely move his arm without feeling excruciating pain.

"You did good," said Jax as he put his helmet on.

Tim tried to smile but he couldn't. The ride back to the clubhouse was incredibly difficult, although at a certain point, Tim decided that he had reached maximum pain, so at least he thought it couldn't feel any worse. Each bump in the road caused a jolt of pain down his arm and around his shoulder. It felt even worse than after the State game.

Back at the clubhouse, Tim settled into a chair while Juice brought him a bottle of bourbon and a ziplock bag filled with ice. Jax went out to the garage to brief Clay on the meeting.

Tim put the ice pack on his shoulder, took a long drink of bourbon and then closed his eyes. He drifted on the edge of sleep until he heard Jax telling Juice to get the doc to look at the shoulder. He forced his eyes open.

"I'm not real great with doctors and I hate hospitals."

"Don't worry. Ours is one of the best and makes house calls," said Jax with a smile. "I'll see you later."

Jax left while Juice made the phone call. Tim could hear him, stumbling over his words and making dumb comments. Juice was one of the smartest guys he knew, but it was like he'd been raised by wolves and had absolutely no idea how to deal with people.

"All right, the doc will see you at 7, but won't come here. You gotta go here," said Juice, pushing a small white square of paper into his hand.

Tim squinted at the paper. "What, is like the doc's house?"

Juice shrugged. "I guess so. You going to be okay until then?"

"I'll be just fine," replied Tim, as he took another drink. "Wake me at 6.30, okay?"

He closed his eyes and didn't even hear Juice's reply as he slipped immediately into unconsciousness.

 

It was close to 8 and Tara had nearly given up on Tim when the doorbell rang. She got up from the couch and pulled her sweater around her. After checking that it was Tim, she pulled open the door.

Tim blinked at her, recognition and confusion registering on his face. "I'm sorry, maybe I have the wrong place."

"No, Tim, you have the right place."

"But I'm looking for the doc?"

"Yeah, you're looking at her. Come in," said Tara as she stepped aside to let Tim pass. He walked into the room slowly.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were doctor. I thought you were Jax's old lady. We met once, at Gemma's."

"Yeah, but no, I'm only a doctor." She pressed her lips into a thin line and tried not to think about Jax. "So, let's take a look at you. Juice said it's your shoulder. But it looks like you got a few nasty cuts on your face. Did you wash those out at all?"

Tim shook his head. "Honestly, I didn't even know I had them."

Tara helped him out of his cut and long-sleeved flannel shirt. She zeroed in on his shoulder and could tell, even under his t-shirt, that it was dislocated.

"My god, how did you ride over here?"

"With great difficulty," replied Tim, managing a weak grin.

"Hang on a minute." Tara left the room and got her first aid kit from the closet, then stopped in the bathroom to retrieve two medicine bottles. Her last stop was in the kitchen for a glass of water.

"So, Tim, I have to know. How much have you had to drink?"

He shrugged his good shoulder. "I dunno. Juice just gave me the bottle of bourbon, so I don't know. Not much though since I fell asleep right away. That's why I'm late - he forgot to wake me up."

"I can't believe they let you ride over here," muttered Tara as she shook a pill out of one of the containers. "Take this, it's a muscle relaxant. It'll make the reduction easier."

"Reduction?" asked Tim before he took the pill and washed it down with half of the water.

"I'm going to have to pop your shoulder back into place. We'll give that a few minutes to take effect and I'll just get your cuts cleaned up."

Tara steered him into the kitchen and sat him down on a tall stool. She turned on another light, causing him to blink. "Sorry, I need to be able to see what I'm doing here."

"Sure, right. Look, I really appreciate you doing this. I... just can't handle hospitals."

"Bad experience?" asked Tara as she splashed hydrogen peroxide onto a cotton ball and began to clean the cuts on his face.

"I guess you could say that," said Tim. Tara was looking right into his eyes and she could see them close down, like a gate blocking off a restricted area.

"So, how's Julie?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

Tim sighed. "No idea. She broke up with me... I guess it was a few months ago. The days just all run together, you know?"

"Yeah, I know how that goes." She could hear the regret and sadness in his voice and wished she hadn't asked the question. She cleaned the rest of his cuts in silence. When she was done, she directed him to a kitchen chair, then rifled around in her first aid kit.

"I'm going to need to see your shoulder, so I know what I'm working with and that shirt's going to need to come off," she said, pulling scissors out of her kit.

"N-huh. No way. You're not cutting off this shirt."

It was a well-worn grey t-shirt with peeling blue lettering. Tara could make out the number 33 and a faded word she guessed was probably the name of a team.

"Tim, it's going to be really painful if not impossible to get that shirt off in one piece."

"Please? It means something to me."

"All right. I'll help you. But if the pain gets to be too much, let me cut it, okay."

Tim nodded and Tara helped him ease his good arm out of the sleeve. It was slow going and even though he was silent, she knew that it had to be hurting something fierce. When the good arm was out, she lifted the shirt over his head and then carefully brought it down his bad arm. She set the shirt in his lap.

"Thank you," said Tim, breathing a sigh of relief.

"All part of the service," she replied with a smile. She walked around behind him and began to gently probe his shoulder, getting a feel for how it was dislocated and figuring out what she needed to do to snap it back in place. She made a few preliminary movements, to line things up and get ready for the final step.

Then she stood very close to Tim and put her hands in position. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. On three. One, tw..." She snapped the shoulder into place, before she even finished the word 'two.'

Tim let out a muttered string of curse words. "Wow, you don't screw around, do you?"

"No, I don't."

"Thank you," he said quietly as they walked back into the living room. She helped him put his button-down flannel shirt back on, then steered him to a recliner. She handed him the water and another pill.

"What's this?"

"Pain reliever. Percocet."

Tim shook his head. "Don't really like 'em. You have any bourbon?"

"No," said Tara, frowning. "I have beer."

"Beer is great. Beer and some ibuprofin would be even better."

"All right. Beer and Advil, coming right up," replied Tara.

She returned a few minutes later with a bottle of Advil and two beers. She twisted the cap off the Advil and handed it to Tim, did the same with one of the beers. She watched him shake a few pills into his hand, pop them into his mouth and then wash them down with some beer.

She sat down on the couch and watched as he made himself comfortable.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I was hit by a truck, but I'm starting to feel a lot better, thanks to you. I can move my arm without feeling like I'm going to pass out. That's a big improvement."

"Good." Tara drank some beer and watched Tim like he was an alien who'd just appeared in her living room. Which in a way, she guessed he was. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure."

"What is it about the club that appeals to you? Why do you want to join?"

Tim took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm not sure I can explain it."

"Just try."

"I guess, in a way, they seem like a combination between a team and a family. I like that."

"You played football?"

"Yeah. High school."

"Did you not play in college?"

"I did, but not for long. Didn't stay in college very long either."

"What happened? I mean, I don't mean to pry. It just seems like college football is a dream come true."

"It wasn't anything like high school football. The team I was on in high school, it wasn't just that we were good. It was like we were a family. The coaches cared about us. These coaches in college? They didn't give a shit about anybody. It's a business."

"So you quit."

"Well, I kind of made it so I'd have to quit," said Tim with a smile.

Tara looked a question at him. He drank some beer before reluctantly answering her. "The quarterback took a bad hit, had a concussion, and the coach wanted to put him back in, even though he was clearly hurt and needed medical attention."

"So you complained?"

"No, I decked the coach and left."

"Wow," said Tara, eyes wide. "You're not afraid to press the self-destruct button, are you?"

Tim shrugged. "It was the right thing to do."

"Maybe, but don't you regret it?"

"No. No regrets at all."

"So you want a family. You know, there are easier ways to get a family than joining the club."

Tim looked down, suddenly interested in the label on his beer.

"Did Julie break up with you because of the club?"

"You said 'a' personal question. Not several," said Tim with a smile.

"Sorry."

"Is that why you broke up with Jax?"

Tara shrug and looked away. "You know, it just started as me needing some time to clear my head. But then, the more time I had away, the more I realized that my life was easier. And yeah, most of that was not having to deal with the club."

"Do you miss him?"

"Every day." The truth was out of Tara's mouth before she could stop herself. She didn't know what it was about this guy, with his kind, sleepy eyes and lulling Texas drawl that made her willing to admit things to him that she hadn't even admitted to herself.

"Yeah. I miss Julie too."

"It's not too late, you know?"

"For me and Julie?"

"I don't know Julie, so I don't know if it's too late for you and her. But what I mean is that it's not too late for you to walk away from the club. You're still a prospect and you've already got an idea of what your life is going to be. Is it worth losing a girl like Julie to have this so-called family?"

Tim sighed. "No offense, doc, but I already lost Julie."

"You don't know that. And even if you had, wouldn't you rather have another Julie in your future than have a porn star or crow-eater?"

"Hey, don't knock porn stars 'til you've tried it."

"Make a joke of it," said Tara. "But you know I'm right."

They lapsed into a companionable silence. Tara soon saw that Tim could barely keep his eyes open.

"I hate to tell you this, but you're in no shape to ride home. Two choices: stay here or I'll drive you home and you can pick up your bike tomorrow," said Tara.

"Here, please. I don't think I can move."

She got up from the couch and picked up an afghan. She gently covered Tim with it.

"I'm sorry, if I was too nosy or bossy just now. I just hate to see you go down that path. I know where it leads."

"s'okay," mumbled Tim as he drifted off to sleep. Tara went back to her room, wondering why she'd tried to get involved.


	18. Chapter 18

place.

Stopping in the doorway and pocketing his shades in his cut, he let his eyes adjust to the smoky, dimly lit environment. Highlighted here and there with neon signs and loud country music screaming at him. His eyes landed on Julie behind the bar.

She and Sadie spun neatly away from each other like ballerinas. Julie landed perfectly in front of her patron, his beer on her tray, not a drop spilled. She smiled at the guy as she set his beer in front of him on a coaster.

"Fancy footwork there, Pixie," said Jax as he sat on a bar stool. She turned at the sound of his voice.

"Jax! Hi!" She smiled.

"Hey, Pix…"

"To what do I owe this surprise?"

"Wendy has her overnight visit with Abel so…"

"That make you nervous?"

"Nah, Wendy's a good person when she's not messed up she's been sober awhile now plus it's a supervised visit so I'm not worried."

"So, you thought you'd go to my place?"

"Well yes, eventually that was part of my plan but first I thought we'd go to dinner and that art house movie you wanted to see."

She smiled at him then stopped "Wait Jackson are you asking me out on a real date?"

"I guess I am yeah… the last one worked out in my favor so I thought why not!"

"Why not huh? Got about an hour and a half before I can clock out. Want a beer while you wait?"

"Please."

"Ok be right back…" she returned with a Coors without asking his brand. He smirked as he perused her outfit: a black t-shirt with pink writing stating: "Doin' it Bubba's way since 1985," a short denim skirt, a checkerboard patterned belt with a fastener that looked like a airplane seat belt, and pink and black cowboy boots. Sometimes Julie's fashion perplexed him.

"What you starin' at?" she asked.

"Just a pretty barmaid." He took a pull of his beer and then held it up. "Thanks, honey."

"No problem I pride myself on exemplary service."

"I could go some place with that but I won't."

Julie laughed as she came around the bar to deliver someone's nachos.

A few minutes later, Jax watched as some old timer pulled Julie onto the dance floor with him. She danced a moment before walking back to the bar.

"You're still the best two-step partner in town, I'm telling you, Sam!" Julie called over her shoulder and the old man lit up like a Christmas tree.

Next, she delivered beers to a table of frat boys. One of them tried to pull her into his lap.

"Now, you know you can't be grabbing on me. Let me go before Marco throws you out."

"So the old fart can touch all he likes but I can't?"said the belligerent frat boy. Jax felt his blood starting to heat.

"Yeah, Tommy, that's about the size of it." she gritted out

The frat boy grabbed her ass as she walked away tossing in a "Tease!" for good measure. Jax was on his feet and across the room in seconds, slamming the little asshole into the jukebox. He was seeing red.

"A lady says no touching, you do not touch especially when she's my lady!" he pulled back his arm to punch the kid.

"Let… him… go…Jackson!" Julie said firmly, anger heating her words. Jax looked up and saw anger, fear, gratitude and attraction all coalesced into one look. He let the kid go and walked out.

Jax leaned against his bike, smoking while he waited for Julie. When she finally did appear, she sighed at him and walked over to her car.

"Julie." She ignored his voice and unlocked her car. She drove off before he could blink. He followed her home. She was half way up the stairs to the apartment when he caught up to her.

"I'm not sorry, Pixie, the kid was being an ass!"

She whirled to face him. "No, of course you're not sorry. It's Jax Teller's world for the taking and he can do no wrong! I had it under control, Jackson. I'm a big girl I don't need saving! So the next time your Neanderthal gene kicks in remember that!"

"So, I can't defend you?"

"Tommy is a regular, Jax. I'm used to it and I handle it .I can't have my boyfriend or whatever you are, Mister I don't do labels… coming in and being all territorial. I need my job Jax."

"Ok, look, I'm not sorry I took up for you, but I suppose I could have handled it more maturely and for that, I am sorry. I think it's that outfit. It does things to me makes me possessive." He fought a laugh.

"Oh shut up. I already feel stupid enough in this outfit," said Julie, rolling her eyes and folding her arms.

"Aw, come on now, baby, that belt it wins." He laughed and bound up the stairs, stopping on the step below her.

"Don't make me hit you… It's the dress code."

"I think you look real cute." He kissed her softly. "Now which way exactly does Bubba do it?" He teased against her lips.

She swatted his chest. "Jackson!"

He chuckled. "Go get changed, Pixie. The movie starts at eight."

She dressed quickly in a smoky gray off-the-shoulder top and dark jeans. She touched up her hair and make up and then was ready to go. Jax smiled; she'd left on the boots.

"Never took you for a pink boots kinda girl, Pixie."

"I'm not. Tim picked them out when I got the job and they work nicely for bike rides. He thought it was real funny."

Jax laughed. "So it's like a permanent practical joke huh?" She swung herself up on the bike behind him.

"Yeah, that's last time I let Timmy pick out my work attire because I'm too busy to do it myself." The bike rumbled to life beneath them and they were off.

 

They had dinner at a local burger joint where Julie ordered the veggie burger and home made potato chips. Jax ordered the Kobe beef burger and fries. They talked about their days, Jax leaving out Tim's current issues. They relayed stupid things Sadie and Half-Sac had done and decided that they needed to set them up sometime.

Jax thought that age might not just be a number after all as he suffered through the horrible movie. The shaky camera work ala a bad episode of "The Hills" made him seasick. Plus, he had to read subtitles for what amounted to a bad smoke-drenched French version of "The Way We Were. He had a migraine that made him want to blow his brains out with the AK-47 he had in his saddlebag. All the while, Julie watched raptly entrenched in the oh-so-French art kid heartbreak of it all. It made her smile though, so he would suffer in silence for her.

 

He sat in bed watching the 49'ers play Dallas. Julie walked in wearing one of his SAMCRO shirts. At least he thought it was his and not Abercrombie's. She crawled in bed and straddled him. He tried to look around her to see the game displayed on her 12-inch pink Hello Kitty TV.

"Really? You wanna play it that way? Ok…"She sat back on her haunches smirking. Her hand reached out, her nails taking a scraping, ticklish walk down his chest. She leaned forward to kiss along his shoulder, wet open-mouthed kisses that heated the blood. Then a sucking, biting kiss where his neck met his jaw, one of his hot spots.

"I'm from football country, sweetheart. Our mothers train us from the time we can walk on how to distract a man from the game…although," she traced the outline of his cock through the fabric of his boxers. "I came upon this particular method all on my own."

He bucked against her hand. The little devil played dirty, he had to give her that. The shirt whipped over her head and she was before him. Make that real goddamn dirty. Fuck it. He didn't really even like football.

She had him out of his boxers and he drove up into her hard. She grunted with the force of it. Hands on either side of his head as she gripped the metal spires of the headboard, she rode him into oblivion. When he felt his control slipping, his arm slung around her hips and he yanked her down on him hard.

Then he flipped her, pinning her beneath him, driving him in to the hilt harder each time. Each thrust was punctuated with the sounds of slapping sweat-sheened skin, his growls falling into her ear. Her cries permeated the air. Their orgasms plowed into them without warning at full force.

The top half of Julie's body hung off the bed. The ends of her hair teasing the floor.

"Fuck…are we dead?" she croaked out.

"Don't think so but I can't be sure."

"I'm pretty sure I can't feel my legs," she said. He chuckled.

 

Jax woke to find Julie not in the bed with him. He smirked. The woman got up with the roosters.

He got up and went to the bathroom. Julie had the alternative rock station playing as she nibbled on toast at the island, talking on the phone to someone. He dressed quickly, returning to the kitchen as she was finishing her conversation.

"I know right we'll have to have a marathon next time we see each other…ok… I miss you too baby girl…" She shoved her untouched piece of toast toward him. "Alrighty then I love you, Grace. Bye-bye, baby."

"Who was that?" Jax asked.

"My baby sister Grace… she's five we were discussing our father's inability to see the cinematic genius that is Dora the Explorer."

"You watch Dora with her?" He laughed.

"I do. Shut up, I like spending time with her."

"That's sweet."

Julie shrugged. She watched him put his holster on, then looked down into her coffee.

"Be careful today, please," she whispered.

"Julie…"

"I know… I know it's just when I see that, I'm reminded that you don't have the most typical job in world."

He put on his cut, then stepped forward and tilted her face up. Dropping a kiss on her mouth. "I'll be extra careful for you bye, babe."

"Bye, Jax see you later," said Julie and then he was out the door.

Driving home, he auto-piloted himself down Tara's street out of habit. He saw Tara and Tim saying what appeared to goodbyes. For reasons he couldn't name, it pulled at him, jealousy on the edge of it and he didn't like it, but couldn't change it. He drove on.


	19. Chapter 19

Later that morning, Jax found Tim working on a motorcycle in the garage at Teller-Morrow. His bad arm was in a sling and he was struggling with a wrench.

"You need help?" asked Jax.

Tim shook his head and gritted his teeth, giving one last shove to the wrench, which finally shook the nut loose.

"The doc patch you up last night?"

"Yeah - had to go over to her house, she wouldn't come to the clubhouse for some reason. Anyway, it was a dislocated shoulder. I'm fine now."

"Maybe you should take it easy, go work in the office with Gemma or something."

"No offense, but I'm not real good at paperwork and, well, your mom can be kind of scary sometimes. I wouldn't want to mess anything up."

Jax laughed. "Yeah, I don't blame you, but still..."

"Abecrombie, I need you to go over," called Clay as he walked into the garage, stopping short when he saw Tim's sling. "Damn. You shouldn't be riding, or probably working either."

"Sorry, Clay, but I kind of need the paycheck, you know?"

Clay nodded as he thought for a moment. "All right, look, go into the clubhouse and talk to Bobby. See if he has some work you can do without hurting yourself more."

Tim thanked Clay and then left.

"All right, Jax, I guess you're going to have to do this. Head over to St. Thomas and find that guy, Carlos, who works in the lumbermill in Pope. He got into a beef with one of Darby's guys and I need to find out why. I don't trust that cracker as far as I can throw him and something's definitely going on."

"Sure, no problem," replied Jax before he walked out to his bike. Putting on his helmet, he thought he might be able to kill two birds with one stone on this trip.

It took Jax all of five minutes to find Carlos and get his story, mostly because there wasn't much story to tell. He'd been at The Dog, had talked to a few people there, and then was jumped shortly after he left. Darby's guy's guy had let his fists do the talking, so Carlos had no idea why he'd been attacked.

After talking to Carlos, Jax took a circuitous route that pretty much guaranteed he'd run into Tara, if she was on duty. He walked confidently, like he had every right to be there and not a care in the world. Coming around a corner, he could hear Tara asking a nurse a question.

She was facing the direction he was coming from and something flickered on her face when she spotted him. It looked an awful lot like sadness, which Jax didn't quite understand. She was the one who wanted space to get her head together. And she was the one who, after a few weeks of space, had called him and said that she thought it was better this way.

"Doc," said Jax with a smile. He nodded a 'hello' to the nurse, who blushed, grabbed the chart out of Tara's hands and quickly left.

"Jax," replied Tara, stuffing her hands deep into her lab coat. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I just had to talk to a guy for Clay and I thought I'd stop by to thank you for taking care of Abecrombie yesterday."

"You're welcome... you know that he rode his bike over to my place, alone, half-drunk and dazed from the pain of his shoulder? I can't believe you guys let him leave like that. He ended up passing out on my recliner."

"Well, I wasn't there, so I don't know anything about that. But you know, you can come to clubhouse. You're still a Friend of the club, and you know we need you."

"I know..." Tara's voice trailed off and she looked away.

"Unless you don't want to. You're not obligated to help us if you don't want to."

"No, if someone's hurt and there's no one else they can go to, I'll help. You know I will."

"Yeah, I know. You're good like that," said Jax as he put a hand on her arm.

She looked down at his hand and then up at him. "Sorry, I should get back to work."

"Yeah, you do that. I'll see you around," replied Jax as he walked away. He felt any shreds of jealousy ebbing away, since the mystery was now explained. And, having looked Tara in the eye, he knew that she was not as cold to him as she'd sounded on the phone when she formally ended things. That was a banked fire with a couple of hot embers burning bright, no doubt about it.

The next couple of weeks went by smooth and easy. Jax found himself spending most of his free time with Julie, finding places outside of Charming to take her. She had let him in further, but he couldn't help feeling that there was still a part of herself that she kept closely guarded.

Or maybe he was just reading too much into things. She'd been a bit nervous the last week, since her parents were coming to visit. She wanted him to meet them, suggesting that he come over for dinner at her place one evening during their visit. Jax had heard so many stories about her family, he was curious about them if not quite looking forward to meeting them.

The morning of the visit, Jax woke up around nine, but didn't move. He watched Julie starting to become conscious, her eyelids fluttering.

"Morning, sunshine," he said when her eyes finally opened.

"Jax, it's a little creepy to wake up and find you staring at me."

"I wasn't staring. I just can't help but look, you know?" he said.

"What time is it?"

"Little after nine. What time are your parents supposed to get here?"

"My mom said she thought it would be this afternoon. I think they got through LA yesterday, but I don't know for sure."

"I can't believe they're driving here."

Julie shrugged. "It's the summer and they both work at schools. What else do they have to do with their time?"

"True. And speaking of time, it sounds like we still have some," said Jax with a wolfish grin. He leaned into kiss her, smiling when she melted into him, tangling her legs with his as she pulled him close.

He was pulling off her shirt when his phone rang. She pulled her shirt back down and sat up.

"You better get that."

"I bet it's not important."

She leaned across him, grabbed his phone and handed it to him. "Only one way to know for sure."

"Yeah?" He answered the call with his best this-better-be-damn-important voice.

"Jax, I'm sorry to be calling you so early, but we have a little issue. I need to drop something off with you."

"Something big or little?"

"Little. I'm on my way over, okay?"

"Chibs, I'm not at my house."

"I wasn't born yesterday, Jackie-boy. Tell Julie that I like my coffee with milk and sugar."

Jax laughed. "Yeah, you can tell her yourself."

He dropped his phone on the nightstand. Julie tried to get out of bed, but he grabbed her arm and pulled him back.

"Where are you going?"

"To have a shower and start the coffee. Chibs is coming over, isn't he?"

"You have super-sonic-bat hearing or ESP?"

Julie rolled her eyes. "Neither. It's my keen logic and feminine intuition."

Jax let go of her arm and stood up from the bed. "All right then, let's go take a shower."

"He'll be here soon, so you're going to have to promise to behave yourself," said Julie, her eyes narrowed.

"I promise," replied Jax, crossing his heart with all the solemnity he could muster.

Fifteen minutes later, the shower was over and Jax had kept his word, mostly, at least. Whatever. Julie wasn't complaining, he thought to himself with a smirk. He towel-dried his hair and then put on his jeans.

The doorbell rang and Julie looked over at him. She was still wrapped in a towel, blow-drying her hair.

"I've got it," said Jax with a wink, pressing a kiss into Julie's forehead as he passed her on his way out of the room.

"You got here fast, man," said Jax as he pulled open the front door. The smile fell from his face as he realized that it wasn't Chibs. He was looking at three people who could only be Julie's parents and little sister.

"Excuse me?" asked Julie's father, his eyes flashing.

Julie's mother leaned in and staged-whispered to her husband. "Hon, are we at the right apartment?"

Jax shook himself out of his surprise. "I'm sorry. You must be Julie's parents. Come on in, I'll just let her know you're here. She wasn't expecting you so early."

As he walked back to Julie's room, he could hear her parents whispering to each other, speculating that maybe 'he belongs to the roommate'. He stepped into her room and closed the door.

The age difference had never bothered him, but this was the first time he could actually see it in her face. She looked like a teenager who had been caught breaking curfew.

"Um, that wasn't exactly how you were supposed to meet them," she said.

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Pixie," he said as he pulled on his shirt.


	20. Chapter 20

Julie stood dazed for a minute, trying to process that fact that not only where her parents hours early, they'd practically caught her in bed with Jax. And she'd thought the time her dad stumbled into Matt Saracen's house was bad.

She shook her head clear and then scrambled to get dressed.

"Ready?" she asked Jax as she fidgeted near the door.

"Pixie, it's all good. I promise."

Julie didn't bother pointing out that Jax was making a promise he couldn't possibly keep. She'd known that breaking the Jax thing to her parents was going to be tricky, but she thought she'd be able to do it carefully, under controlled circumstances, after she'd had a few days to talk about him and get them used to the idea.

This was a nightmare scenario she hadn't possibly considered. As she walked to the living room, she nearly expected the hallway to get longer and longer, like in a bad dream. She could hear her parents whispering to each other, so she cleared the throat loudly before she entered the room, Jax close behind her.

"Julie!" shouted Gracie as she flew across the room and threw herself at Julie, who was prepared to catch her.

Julie stood up slowly, lifting Gracie up with her. "You're getting big, Gracie Belle. Pretty soon you're going to be too big for me to pick up."

"You could get stronger," said Gracie, causing Julie to laugh. She gently put Gracie back on the floor, then walked over to hug her parents. Her father's shoulders were stiff and she could practically hear the questions rattling around in her mother's head.

Turning toward Jax, she put on her best polite smile, getting ready to do the textbook introduction that she'd learned in her fourth grade Language Arts class. "Mom, Dad, this is Jackson Teller. Jax, these are my parents, Tami and Eric Taylor."

Jax smiled and shook hands with them. "Eric, Tami it's good to meet you."

"And this is my little sister Gracie," said Julie as Jax crouched down to say hello.

"Why do you have a drawing on your arm?" asked Gracie, reaching out to trace the line of Jax's tattoo.

"It's to remember my dad. He died when I was in high school."

"Our goldfish died. Daddy flushed him down the toilet," said Gracie.

Jackson laughed as he stood back up.

"Sorry I'm not ready for you, but I didn't expect you guys until this afternoon," said Julie.

"Well, Jules, you know your father. He likes to get an early start and make good time."

Before Julie could say anything, the doorbell rang. The living room was rather cramped with all of them standing there. Coach was closest to the door so he pulled it open.

Chibs pulled his shades down and then leaned back to check the apartment number on the door frame. "Sorry, is Jax here?"

Jax gave Julie's arm a squeeze as he slipped past her. "Excuse me a minute."

"No worries Julie, I'll return him right quick," said Chibs. He gave her parents a friendly wave before disappearing down the stairs.

Julie watched her dad go over to the window and peak through the blinds. She had no idea what Chibs was dropping off, but she didn't think it was a great idea to have her father spying on the transaction.

"Hey, Dad, I've got coffee. And if anyone needs to use the bathroom, it's down the hallway there. I think I'll start making breakfast. Eggs good for everyone? Great."

"Are they free-range and organic," asked Coach as he finally tore himself away from the window.

"Of course, come on and have a seat in the kitchen."

In the kitchen, her dad settled down with the newspaper and a cup of coffee. Tami got Gracie some juice and sat her at the table before coming over to help Julie cook.

"So, Jules," began Tami, clearly trying to decide which question to ask first.

"Sorry, Mom, I can't talk and cook at the same time," said Julie lamely.

The front door squeaked open and Jax joined them in the kitchen.

"Jax, are you staying for breakfast?" asked Julie, trying and failing to keep the pleading confined to her eyes. She watched as Jax looked around, no doubt weighing what he needed to do against her need to have him stay a little longer.

"Sure, but I can't stay for long."

Julie smiled at him gratefully. "Great, could you please set the table? And Mom, you sit down. I got this one."

While Jax set the table, Julie made enough scrambled eggs and toast for everyone. She kept half an ear on the conversation, worried that her parents would say something to embarrass her.

"So, how'd you and Jules meet?" asked Tami, her warm voice inviting Jax to confide his deepest secrets.

"Oh, her friend Tim, he's working at the garage where I work, so I met Julie at a work party."

Julie said a silent prayer of thanks that he hadn't mentioned the club. She didn't want to hide that part of Jax's life from them, but she wanted to introduce it to them slowly, give them a chance to adjust to it.

"Tim Riggins?" asked Coach, an edge to his voice.

"Yeah, that's right. He came up here to buy a bike off me and ended up staying and working with us. He's a hell of a mechanic."

"I got a bike for my birthday," said Gracie proudly. "It's pink and has a Dora the Explorer bell, so I don't run anyone over. Daddy says I'm this-close to getting the training wheels off."

"Awesome," said Jax as Julie put a platter of eggs and toast on the table.

Logically, Julie knew that breakfast probably only lasted fifteen or twenty minutes at the most, but it felt like several hours of torture. The conversation was strained, with Tami asking questions, Jax answering them, and Coach occasionally growling a barbed remark.

When Tami paused to eat some eggs, Gracie took over the questioning duties. "Are you Julie's boyfriend?"

Jax smiled and shifted his gaze to Julie. "Do you think I am?"

Gracie shrugged. "I don't know... Are you a daddy?"

Julie nearly choked on her eggs. Jax smiled proudly. "Yeah, I am. I have a son. His name is Abel."

"Like the story we learned in Sunday School. Abel was the good one."

"Exactly," said Julie. "Gracie, you better finish your eggs before they go cold."

When breakfast was over, Julie ushered her parents back into the living room while Jax put the dishes in the dishwasher.

"I'm going to need to go," Jax whispered in Julie's ear as he walked past her. Julie watched him walk up the hallway, then saw his cut draped over the back of the couch. She picked it up and followed him back to her room.

"Thanks, but you didn't have to bring this back to me," he said.

"Um, Jax, kinda I did," she said, her eyes flickering uneasily over his holster.

"Oh right. Sorry. Good thing you think so fast," he put on his cut and pulled her close, giving her a kiss so deep, she felt light-headed.

When he pulled away, she blinked up at him.

"Well, I could hardly do that in front of your, parents now, could I?"

Julie smiled weakly and then walked him out to the living room. He said goodbye to everyone, gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and then left. It took every ounce of self-control Julie had not to hurtle down the stairs after him and beg him to take her somewhere, anywhere.

"Hey Gracie, why don't you see if Julie's got that Hello Kitty television in her bedroom? I bet there are some cartoons on," said Coach.

Gracie grabbed Julie's hand to pull her back to the bedroom.

"Sorry, Gracie Belle, but Julie will be with you in a minute. We need to have a word with her," said Tami.

Julie sank into the nearest chair. Now the real fun was going to start. She could hardly wait.

"How old do you think he is?" asked Coach that afternoon as he paced in the enclosed space of their hotel room. Julie had seized the opportunity to take Gracie out for lunch and a movie, so he and Tami had checked into the hotel. His head was spinning, reeling from the events of the morning.

"I don't know, hon. Older than our girl, that's for sure."

"I know that, but how old?"

"Babe, I hate to say it, but I'm thinking late 20's, probably even early 30s," said Tami, grabbing Eric's hand and pulling him down to sit next to her.

"Damn. That's what I was thinking too. I was hoping you'd come in lower."

Tami smiled sadly.

"So, what are we going to do about this?" asked Eric.

"What do you mean, what are we going to do about this?" asked Tami.

"He's at least 10 years older, he has an ex-wife and a baby, he's in a motorcycle gang so you know the he does god-only-knows-what. Drugs? Gun-running? And his friend? With the scars? That's not the type of thing that happens to your average upstanding citizen."

"Now, honey, I don't think we do anyone any favors when we go jumping to conclusions like that.

"Damn it, we sent her here to go to college, not to go wild."

"We don't have any actual evidence that she's going wild. Her apartment was clean, her fridge was full, she's gotten good grades. This Jackson, he might be a perfectly nice guy. We just don't know enough about him yet."

"We need to put a stop to this."

"What are we going to do? Ground her?

"Yes, for a start."

"Eric, it doesn't work that way anymore. She's an adult. She's on a scholarship and is paying her own expenses. There's nothing we can do. Except maybe talk to her."

"Can't I just drag her back to Dillon and lock her in the basement until she's 35?" grumbled Eric.

Tami hugged him. "Babe, we don't even have a basement."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. My wife is always right," he replied, kissing her forehead.

"Goddamn. Do you remember when our biggest concern was her going on a date with Matt Saracen? When our only fear was that she might have a crush on Tim Riggins?" asked Tami with a fond smile.

Eric snapped his fingers and jumped up. "That's it. Tim Riggins. He's here and he and Julie are still friends. He must know what's going on. Maybe he'd be able to talk some sense into her or something."

He put on his hat and grabbed the car keys, ignoring Tami's pleas for him to stop.


	21. Chapter 21

Julie's cell phone rang out "We Will Rock You," signaling that her dad was calling. She and Gracie had just left the movie theatre, and Julie had a minor headache thanks to the high-pitched voices of Alvin and The Chipmunks in their "Squeakuel"

"Hi, Dad Gracie Belle and I are going to the Hollywood Diner. It's 1950's themed. Jax took me there but I'll bring her back to the hotel after ok? I have classes in the morning but I'm free after one."

Eric tried to keep the irritation from his voice. "I'm glad you girls are having fun . Do you know where Tim might be? I thought I might see him while we're here."

"Um, ok he's probably at work at Teller-Morrow. Just follow the highway to exit 310 and then turn right at Eureka and then you'll be in Charming after maybe 25 miles. Just follow the signs and then the shop is past the Shell station on the main drag to the left."

"Thanks sweetie…"

"No problem, but Dad, listen, Tim doesn't…" The dial tone blared in her ear.

"Know about Jax and me," she finished.

"He hung up on me. He actually hung up on me." She looked at her phone as if it had offended her.

"That was rude!" Gracie said.

"I agree ." Julie replied primly. "Ready for dinner?" she said more brightly.

 

Eric followed the signs and Julie's directions into Charming. He pulled into the dusty lot, parking as close as he could to the door. He locked it.

As he was getting out of the car, a tall man with graying white-ish hair approached with speculation written all over his face.

"Clay Morrow, can I help you?" the man didn't offer his hand, which said a lot to Eric Taylor.

"Lookin' for Tim Riggins."

"Prospect you got company and it ain't of the female persuasion. Looks like a

pissed off Daddy. You knock somebody up?" Clay called into the darkness of the garage.

Tim saw Coach and smiled widely until he saw the expression that meant he was fixing to do about fifty thousand winds sprints. His first thought was Julie.

"Is Jules ok Coach?"

"She's fine physically. It's mentally I don't know about."

Tim's brows crinkled momentarily.

"Look, can we go somewhere to talk?"

Tim looked around, considering his options. He motioned over toward the picnic tables near the clubhouse. Everyone was either inside the clubhouse or the garage, so he figured they'd have as much privacy as they were going to get.

Coach sat down on one bench and folded his hands in front of them, clenching them tightly enough that his knuckles went white.

"I'm afraid I don't follow Coach," said Tim as he sat down on the opposite bench.

"You and Jules hang out a lot?"

"We used too, yeah, although not as much lately. What makes you think something is wrong with Julie, Coach?"

"What makes me think there's something wrong with my daughter? She's dating that Jax guy, that's what!"

Eric saw anger flame for a split second in Tim's eyes, the muscle in his jaw ticking. Then he looked down at the table, causing his hair to tip into his eyes. When he looked up, his face was completely neutral. Eric almost thought he'd imagined the anger, but he knew what he'd seen.

"What makes you think they are dating?"

"He answered Julie's front door half-naked this morning."

Tim nodded. "Listen coach, I didn't know anything was up, but Julie's real private these days. anyway Jax isn't a bad guy. His heart is the right place."

"His heart's in the right place," Eric smiled his are-you-kidding-me smile and shook his head. "How old is he?"

"I dunno, something like 31, I think."

"Thirty-one. That's just great. And all of this, I don't think I want to know what all of this is, do I, son?" asked Coach, vaguely waving at the Reaper on the clubhouse wall.

"It's just a bunch of guys that like motorcycles, that's all."

Coach looked at Tim skeptically. "Uh-huh, I'm sure that's all it is. Look, you're her friend - do you think there's anything you could say to her to make her reconsider what she's doing? Or something you could tell me so I could have a talk with her?"

"I dunno, Coach. Julie's real stubborn and if you push her ,she's gonna do the exact opposite of what you want. Believe me, I know this first hand. I'll watch out for her Coach, but there's not a lot any of us can do. We're grown ups now remember? Sometimes we just hafta make our own mistakes."

"Basically, what Tami said."

"You do say that your wife is always right," said Tim.

Juice pushed open the clubhouse door and barreled over toward Tim, stopping short when he saw Coach.

"Obviously, you need something Juice." Tim said.

"Clay needs you for the thing with the guy at The Dog. Oh, you must be Pixie's dad. I've heard a lot about you from Tim and Pixie... nice to meet you."

"Excuse me, Pixie?"

"Yeah that's what Jax named her back when she was Abercrombie's I mean Tim's old lady...I mean girlfriend...Sorry I forget normal people don't speak biker."

Eric looked over at Tim for confirmation. It was news to him that Tim had been dating his daughter.

"We had something," said Tim, looking sadder than Eric had ever seen. "But I messed it up. End of story."

"I'll just shut up now," Juice said.

"Looks like my break's over. My boss needs me but it was nice seeing you."

"Nice seeing you too, Tim…" Eric walked back to the car with a million thoughts in his head. As he pulled out of the lot, he caught a glimpse of Tim, fists clenched and anger burning on his face as he approached Jax.

Jax came out of the clubhouse in time to see Julie's dad pulling out and Juice sheepishly ambling away. He could put two and two together and he knew that the four didn't add up to anything good.

"Tim, can I talk to you a minute?"

Tim got up from the table, his fists clenched as tightly as his jaw. Jax took a step toward him, but Tim pointed a warning finger.

"Stay away from me, Teller. I don't want to do anything I'm gonna regret," growled Tim as he headed over toward his bike to go take care of business, mostly likely scaring off some dumb shit drug dealer, at The Dog.

Jax looked back and saw Chibs standing behind him. "Go with him, watch his back. And make sure he doesn't kill someone."

"You got it, Jackie-Boy."

Jax slipped into Gemma's office, grabbed the phone, and dialed Julie's number.

"Hi, Jax," she said warmly.

"Hey Pixie, baby." Hearing her voice made him smile. He felt Gemma looking at him from the desk. He turned to her, making his "What Ma?" face.

"Abercrombie knows, Pix, and it doesn't look good."

"Well shit. I was afraid of that!"

"Ohm… you said shit" Gracie said.

"Don't say shit, baby," Julie murmured kissing the top of her sister's head as she fixed her pony tail.

"Huh?" Jax was confused.

"I have Gracie Belle for our girls' night. We're at dinner now and then I'll drop her off at the hotel."

"Oh that's good. Okay, Pixie, I gotta go but I'll be over tonight, okay?"

They said their goodbyes and Jax went back into the garage to finish the bike he'd been working on earlier in the day.

When Jax got to Julie's apartment later that night, she was already in her pajamas and she looked exhausted. He followed her back to her room, got into bed with her, and let her lean into them. Looked like a quiet night in, watching television, which was fine with him. Some days were too exciting.

They were watching an old episode of "Three's Company", when they heard someone knocking on Julie's door.

"I'll get it. We've had enough bad luck with you answering the door for one day." Julie smirked.

"No shit," Jax murmured with a smile.

Julie looked out the window. "It's Tim…let me try to handle this on my own, okay?"

"Alright." Jax turned down the TV so he could hear things, in case Tim got out of line.

Julie walked slowly over to the front door. She took a deep breath before pulling it open. There stood Tim, looking crushed and helpless, reeking of booze. He could barely stand.

"Jesus Tim, please tell me you didn't drive here."

"No, Chibs drove my truck…I just wanna know why you kept it from me. Then I'll leave."

"I… we… didn't want to hurt you."

"So letting your dad tell me was a better option?"

"No, god no…"

Tim leaned against the door frame and closed his eyes. When he opened them, the look on his face made Julie's heart break.

"All that time I spent trying to get you back, begging and pleading and basically handing you my heart on a silver fucking platter for months, Julie… months and it was a some joke. You two have a good laugh at how dumb I am? Don't even know that my gal's going out with someone I knew."

"No Tim! I swear to you, my main reason for not telling you was because I didn't want to hurt you. I never in a million years thought you'd find out this way...

"I was...I don't know, sometimes I think I still am confused Tim, okay? I don't have all the answers! But" Her voice shook and she sounded like she might burst into tears at any second.

"I know you are. That's why I didn't ask why you did it. I understand why you did it. I've been there before."

Julie nodded sadly. If anyone could understand, it was Tim.

He pushed off of the door frame, lurching into her personal space. He put his hands on her shoulders and gave her a shake before letting her go.

"Let me make something crystal clear for you, baby. I know Jax. To him, you're nothing but a shiny new-model of crow eater. Watch the way he looks at Tara Knowles, then tell me different. I love you, Jules, always will. Him... well, after the new wears off, he's done."

Julie gasped, his words having the same effect as a slap. Jax had heard enough. He strode quickly through the apartment and stood behind Julie.

"Abercrombie, you don't near enough about me to make that call. I don't like when people presume to know things they don't… It's time to back off Tim."

"And if I don't you'll what? Hit me? Shoot me? What?"

Jax moved Julie out of the way and bowed up. Tim's eyes narrowed and he stiffened. Julie had seen that look before: it meant bad things.

"Chibs a little help please?" she shouted, feeling relief when she heard a muttered cursed followed by his feet pounding up the stairs.

Tim spit at Jax's feet "Some brotherhood this is." He turned to Julie. "Call if you need me, even now."

Then he turned staggered towards the stairs, Chibs catching him before he could fall.

Jax closed the door of the apartment. Julie leaned against him, all the strength draining out of her body after that confrontation. Jax guided her over to the couch, sat down and pulled her into his lap. She rested her head on his shoulder and he waited for the tears, but nothing came.

"You okay, Jules?" he asked softly.

She nodded.

"Hey," he said as he tipped her head back and gently lifted her chin until she made eye contact with him. "He's drunk and he's angry. That's all. He's hurt, so he was trying to hurt you. You get that, right?"

Julie looked down and bit her lip. "I guess so. I just feel horrible."

"I know, baby, I know."

"Did we make a huge mistake?"

"You mean getting together or keeping it a secret?"

"Both, either...I don't know."

"Maybe we could have handled things better, but you're not a mistake and you're not just some diversion or amusement."

Her eyes scanned his face like she was trying to gauge the truth of his statement.

"I care about you. A lot. I'm not just fooling around here neither. I want to be with you and I don't care who knows. "

She looked down and leaned forward a little, letting her face brush against his face, her breath warm and ticklish near his ear. "Good. I care about you too."

Jax squeezed her tight. "All right, Pixie. Let's get some sleep now and we'll figure things out in the morning."


	22. Chapter 22

The next morning, Tim's visit seemed like a bad dream. Jax was sweet and tender when he kissed her goodbye, wishing her fun with her family and telling her that he'd see her later that night. Julie found herself pushing Tim's words out of her mind.

Maybe she didn't know how Jax looked at Tara Knowles, but she could see how he looked at her. And it looked pretty good to her.

Julie grabbed her books and headed out the door to go to her morning classes. She was about to get into her car, when Lyla drove up. Julie wasn't sure how or when it happened, but she and Lyla had become friends.

It amused Julie that although she had the same first name as Lyla Garrity, she couldn't be more different. It wasn't just that she worked in the adult film industry while Lyla Garrity probably went around pretending that such a business didn't exist. It was that her friend Lyla was real, genuine, honest with herself in a way that Lyla Garrity, with her over-the-top saccharine sweetness never could be.

"Julie, I'm sorry, but do you have a minute?" asked Lyla when Julie leaned down to talk to her. Her eyes were red and her face was tear-stained.

Julie didn't even have to think twice. She went around to the passenger side and got in. "Whatever you need."

Lyla drove them to a crowded diner in the middle of Lodi. They got a table, ordered coffee, and then Julie waited patiently until her friend was able to talk.

Lyla rubbed her eyes and then looked down at coffee mug. "Julie, I have a problem. With coke."

Julie shifted uneasily in her seat but tried to keep her face neutral. She tried to ask herself what her mother would say and do. She reached out and put her hand on Lyla's. "OK, well, I've heard admitting it is the first step. We'll get you some help."

Lyla gave her a weak smile. "Funny thing is, quitting feels like the least of my worries right now. I mean it's hard and sometimes I can't help myself but the cocaine is not actually my problem. I guess I have two problems."

"Okay, let's hear 'em and see what we can do about it."

"First, there's my dealer. I still owe him money. Like a lot of money. And he's been threatening me. He adds more and more interest on every week and it's like I'll never be out from under it."

Julie nodded. "What's the second problem?"

"My ex. He's threatening to take Piper away from me. He says I'm an unfit mother. I can't have him take me to court. I can't. There isn't a judge in the world who wouldn't agree with him. I'm a mess." Lyla's voice broke and she started to cry.

"These are big problems, but I'm sure we can figure something out... Do you mind if I talk to Jax about this?"

Lyla looked up, surprised. "You and Jax? Really?"

Julie felt herself blushing. "Yeah, um, sorry I didn't tell you. We've kind of been keeping it quiet until we could figure out what we're doing."

"So what are you doing?"

"Um, I'm still not sure. But it seems to be getting more serious and the cat's out of the bag now anyway. My parents arrived early and found him at my place and then my dad went off and told Tim, so..." Julie trailed off with shrug.

"Ouch... how did Tim take it?"

"Not good."

"He probably just needs time to get over the shock."

"Him and me both," muttered Julie.

"Listen to me, Jax is a good guy. He's got a big heart and I think you could be good for him. So don't over-think this one, okay?"

Julie smiled. She and Lyla might not have been friends for long, but the girl had her number and knew how her brain would go into overdrive over the smallest things.

"I need to get to work," said Lyla. "Thank you, for listening."

"I can do more than that."

Lyla was silent for a minute then she shook her head slowly. "No, not yet. I don't think I'm at the point yet where I need that sort of bailing out. Besides, Jax might decide"

Jax gave Tim the better part of two days to sleep it off. Then he went over to Tim's place. He knocked on the door several times, knowing that Tim had to be in there, since he could see both his truck and his bike.

He heard Tim shout a muffled "Yeah, come in." Jax pushed the door open and stepped into the dimly lit apartment. From all the empty beer cans and whisky bottles, it looked like Tim could open his very own recycling center. The place smelled like cheap beer, sex, and three-day old pizza.

Tim stumbled out of the bedroom, stopping short when he saw it was Jax.

"Who's there?" asked a woman who sounded a lot like Emily Duncan.

"No one. Just stay here. I'll be back in a minute," said Tim as he pulled the door shut. He looked at Jax with narrowed eyes, then folded his arms, leaned against the wall and waited.

"I hope you're not waiting for an apology," said Jax.

"That'd be nice, but I'm not stupid."

"Showing up at Julie's like you did, talking shit, that was really stupid. You really hurt her feelings. And you wrong about me."

Tim shrugged. "Prove it."

Jax shook his head, a disbelieving smile on his lips. He rubbed his hand over his mouth. "Doesn't matter. What does matter is I need to know - are you in or out as a prospect?"

"I don't know."

"I need to know if I can trust you, if you've got my back, regardless of whatever kind of personal bullshit is between us right now."

"Can you trust me? Seems like the bigger problem, since you sorta stole my gal, is that I can't trust you."

"I don't have to explain shit to you," said Jax, his steady voice belying the anger and frustration that was starting to boil inside of him. "But I will. Once. Julie and you were already broken up. She was the one who didn't want to tell you, because she didn't want to hurt you."

"Uh-huh," said Tim, his tone teetering on the edge of sarcasm.

"Hey, it seems unfair that she doesn't get to pick who she gets to go out with after you two are done."

"So what you're saying is that she picked you, and I have to respect that."

"Yeah."

Tim nodded slowly and looked down. He was quiet for several long seconds before lifting his head to look Jax straight in the eye. "You're the VP. Couldn't you just wash me out?"

"I could. But I don't want to. We get past this and I still think you could be good for the club and that the club could be good for you."

"You do, huh?"

"I do. Look, you got a brother, don't you? You telling me that you and him never got hung up on the same girl?"

A ghost of a smile crossed Tim's mouth. "We did."

"And you got past it, right?"

"Eventually," said Tim.

"Exactly. Look, take a few days off, think about it, and come to me with your decision. Okay?"

"Okay."

Jax nodded and left the apartment. He checked his phone and found he had a text from Julie. Her shopping trip to IKEA with her family was over and they were going to be at her place for awhile. He smiled to himself as he texted back that he would be right over.


	23. Chapter 23

Julie didn't know whether to tell Jax what she'd learned about Lyla or not. When he came home on her lunch break it was weighing on her mind.

"Something wrong Julie?"

"You mean besides the fact that you drove an hour to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while sitting on my kitchen counter and staring at my legs between bites?" she teased.

He shrugged. "You got nice legs… yes besides that…"

"Ok a friend confided something in me, but doesn't want me to talk to anyone about it, but I think you need to know for their safety. But I don't want you to fire them or make them think I've crossed lines."

"Is this something about Tim?"

"No, Lyla she has… well she had a pretty severe cocaine addiction and she's trying to get clean and is afraid the person who deals her stuff is going to hurt her because she owes him money."

"Well shit Pix."

"I know I know but she's trying hard and ex is threatening to take her kid if she doesn't straighten out."

"I'll keep an eye on her, try to see if there's anything I can do to back the dealer off."

"Thank you," said Julie as she leaned over to kiss him.

Gracie came barreling in. "Sister!"

Julie looked over ,smiling as Gracie came around the island to stand between where Julie stood and where Jax sat. "What's up, Gracie Belle?"

"Daddy says if he has to put your godforsaken storage unit together then we gotta stay out of his way… Hi Jax!"

"Hello Grace." he smirked at the girl's effervescence and handed her one of the uneaten halves of his second sandwich when she eyed it.

"What do you say?" Julie asked.

"Thank you, Jax."

"Your welcome, but your sister made them I'm just consuming."

"Did you invite him and Abel to go to the zoo with us yet?"

"I was just about to. Go put on dora channel 12 and I'll be there in a minute."

"Ok bye Jax."

"Bye Gracie," said Jax as the girl raced out of the room. He looked at Julie, who was biting her lip and blushing.

"Sorry, I was going to ask you after lunch."

"This zoo thing.. it important to you?"

"Yes, I …"

"You want to show them we're normal. I get that. I've never taken Abel to the zoo should be fun." He got down from the counter and kissed Julie lightly.

"Stay at my place tonight," he whispered, leaning against her, just as Eric brought in an IKEA box.

"Sure I need to drop off that candle anyway. Lyla says your bathroom smells like feet. Do I wanna know why Lyla knows this?"

"One time thing in between you and Tara."

"Oh…"

"Yeah nothing to worry about. I gotta get back to work but-" he kissed her again as Eric watched. "I'll see you later." He smirked down at Eric and his IKEA box. "That stuff's a bitch to put together man sorry I can't stay and help… see you tomorrow, Eric."

Eric grunted in response.

"Daddy, the tool box is on the island for you. Thank you for doing this for me. I'm not mechanically inclined and the guys can fix cars and trucks, but if you ask them to even so much as fix the crumb catcher in the toaster you're screwed." She moved to the door.

"What are you doing, Julie?"

"Gonna go help mom with the other stuff."

"No, Jules I mean with him... Explain it for me honey, cause I sure as hell am lost," said Eric as he pulled off his baseball cap and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Dad…"

"Your mama said don't push, so I'm not pushing but I just…I feel like something is off with you Jules and I just want to understand."

"Nothing is off, Dad. It's just nice not to be perfect smart Julie Taylor all the time. He likes me, Dad, the real me, not who I have to pretend to be to make everyone else happy."

"You don't have to pretend Jules, not with your family. And I'm pretty sure Tim loves the real you too."

"Oh my god wait a minute… are you actually singing the praises of Tim Riggins?"

"In comparison to that, yes!"

"Tim cheated! He cheated and lied and he put me last every single chance he got. He tell you that too when he was telling what a fuck up I've become?" she shouted, voice shaking, tears in her eyes.

"No, he did not." he said quietly as Julie stomped outside to help Tami unload the car.

"Calls me Eric for crying out loud," he muttered to himself.

 

Tami heard the stamping on the stairs and turned around, not at all surprised to see Julie. Although she was surprised to see that she was crying.

"Jules, you okay?" asked Tami, stepping away from the car to give Julie a hug.

Julie nodded against her shoulder and sniffled, then pulled herself together and stepped away.

"I'm fine," she said, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Are you really?" asked Tami, slipping into her Concerned Mom Voice.

"Yes...no...I don't know. It's just...why did Dad have to go talk to Tim? And why's he on Tim's side when he has no idea what happened?"

"Now Jules, your dad is not on anyone's side. He's just trying, in his own way, to figure out what's going on."

"And he hates Jax. You both do. I can tell."

"We don't really know him, Julie, but we are concerned about you and him, yes."

Julie folded her arms, her eyes flashing with defiance.

"Why are you concerned?"

"Well, he's more than ten years older than you. He has a child. And honey, we're really not sure we understand what exactly his job is."

Julie sighed and rolled her eyes. "He's a mechanic. That's it."

"Julie, I wasn't born yesterday."

"You're judging him by his cut and that's just not fair. He's more than just the club. Why can't anyone see that," said Julie, her voice beginning to shake again.

Tami recognized that Julie was upset about so much more than just the fact that they were having a hard time accepting Jax. "Look, hon, we're going to try to give him a chance. We'll spend some time with him. But I'm not going to lie to you - he's got a job ahead of himself to convince us that he's good enough for our baby girl."

Julie nodded petulantly and went over to the car to grab a few bags. Tami breathed a sigh of relief. She was convinced this was just a phase and if they handled it right, it would go away.


	24. Chapter 24

"I can't find my eyelash curler," said Julie, rifling through the bag she'd brought over to Jax's house.

"You need your eyelash curler to go to sleep, Pixie?" asked Jax, his voice full of sleepy amusement.

"Well, no, but I need it for tomorrow."

"Then I'll help you find it then. Now come to bed," Julie got in curling up to Jax as he curled around her. She looked up at him and smiled, an invitation to kiss her. Before he had a chance to act on it, someone was banging on the door.

"What now?" Julie whined.

"They might leave. Ignore it."

"Or they might wake the baby."

Jax groaned "Ok I'm going."

Julie got up following, him. She stepped on something in the hall. "Ouch found my eyelash curler."

"Guess lil man was playing with it." Jax smirked, swinging the door open. And a bloody and beaten Lyla fell into his arms.

"Jesus Lyla.." Julie rushed forward.

"Who did this?" Jax asked.

"Dylan Darby."

"Fuck!" growled Jax.

"Who's that? We need to get her to a doctor…a hospital…"

"No, just let me clean up and call Luann."

"NO!" Julie held firm.

"Julie, I have drugs in my system and a very pissed off ex and dealer. Please it's safer if you just let me clean up and crash here."

"Jax!"

"Clean her up and call my mom, Pix I'll deal with Darby's brat tomorrow!"

"But Jax!"

"Do it, Pixie."

"We can't leave her alone…tonight, tomorrow not until this is fixed!"

"I'll take her and stash her at Abercrombie's tomorrow…"

"She needs a doctor - some of those cuts look pretty bad. You should at least call Tara unless you're scared I'll see what Tim was talking about!"

"I would call her Pixie that's not the problem. She's at some conference in San Diego! Clean her up, set her up on the couch and come to bed."

Julie spent the better part of an hour tending to Lyla. Then she fixed up the couch with pillows and a blanket, gave her some Advil, and stomped back into Jax's bedroom. She picked up her cell phone and set the alarm.

"What are you doin' Jules?"

"I'm setting the alarm on my phone so I can wake her every three hours in case she has a damn concussion! Shut up while you're ahead Jax I'm pissed off." she turned away from him and snapped off the light.

"Why are you mad at me! I didn't beat the shit out of her, Pixie . The dealer did." he said the last part slowly as if explaining it to a small child. Which was the wrong tack to take with Julie.

"Because she needs a damn doctor and maybe rehab but no you're more concerned with one of your prized porn princesses fucking her brains out to make your precious club that much fucking richer screw doing the right thing… I told you to shut up! Good night!"

"I'm going to fix it Pix and it's not about money the way her face looks she won't be able work for months…she has drugs in her system Julie doctors find that and they take her kid from her. You think of that?" he bit out.

"Oh god Jax where's Piper?"

"Who's Piper?"

"Lyla's kid he's like ten I think." she got up and rushed down the hall. Coming back she exhaled. "He's with Lyla's mom."

"Ok done being mad at me now?"

"Mostly…"

"Ok then lets go to sleep I have what amount to in-laws to impress tomorrow."

 

The next morning tempers cooled, and Julie helped Lyla cover her bruises. They ate at breakfast delivered before delivering Lyla to Tim, who only begrudgingly spoke to Jax and ignored Julie altogether. They loaded up and went to the zoo, Abel jabbering at them from the back the whole way.

"He's going to scream." Jax gestured to Abel, who sat in his stroller, trying to eat his foot. Julie had given up the battle of trying to keep his shoes on.

"Yes, He will but it's just sunblock. He'll get over it, babe." Julie squeezed some sunblock into Jax's hand. "Go to town."

"Now my hands are going to smell like coconut."

"You'd rather your baby get sun burnt?

"Well no."

"Ok then go for it…there are Mom, Dad, and Gracie."

Abel balked at being trapped in the stroller and he refused to let Jax touch him after what he surely thought of us as the betrayal of having to put on stinky sunblock. Julie carried him while Jax pushed the stroller. Eric and Jax hung back while Julie, Tami and Gracie walked ahead.

"This is by far the most un-tough I have ever looked. Julie is definitely rubbing off."

Eric laughed. "She does tend to have that effect on people. She talks about so much stuff, I don't know what half of it is, like chiaroscuro, but hearing her talk about it makes me wish I did."

"It's cool though that's what I like about Pixie. She's a puzzle sometimes requires actual thought before action. She never goes easy on me and I need that."

"She's young and infatuated with you," said Eric, trying to keep the edge out of his voice.

"She's more mature than a lot of forty year olds I know and I'm equally infatuated so it works." Jax grabbed the camera Julie had thought to bring and took a picture of Abel and Julie in profile looking at the flamingos. Abel was delighted by their bright colors as he reached out for them, smiling.

"Pixie, Lil man, Smile." They turned to him. "Smile at Daddy, Abel!" Julie smiled brightly and as he snapped and caught Abel laughing. They traded off and Jax had him now. He held Abel up to the gorilla enclosure.

"What is that Bubba? Its not going to get you…"

"Ew, its picking its nose," Gracie said.

"At least it's not scratching its butt," Eric added, which made gracie laugh. Tami stood back watching as Julie, Jax and Abel stood clustered together.

"Sign says he's fifteen-year old silver back named Buddha." Julie added as Jax watched Abel watch the gorilla speculatively.

"I'm not going in there… you can't make me!" Julie balked.

"Jules," Jax pleaded.

"It says snake emporium I don't do snakes…wait does that sign say they have an anaconda? Oh hell no…I'll just wait out here."

"I'll hold your hand…" Eric and Jax said at the same time.

"Okay, that was slightly creepy. No seriously all I keep thinking is that snake farm song that Tim loves to sing because it grosses me out."

"It'll be fine. Just don't look. Nothing's going to happen to you," said Jax as he took her hand and led her toward the snake house.

Julie, having barely survived what she called snake hell, was glad to move on to the petting zoo. Eric took Gracie on the pony ride while Tami stood back with Julie watching as Jax helped Abel pet a baby rabbit. Abel tried to chew the bunnies ears.

"No, no be nice… you want a bunny? Well tell you what, let's start with a goldfish. I don't think I'll kill that," said Jax, speaking gently to his son.

Tami felt like she was starting to see some of what Julie saw in Jax. She'd always told her girl to color outside the lines and she couldn't very well get mad when she did so.

They were eating lunch when Jax caught sight of Darby heading into the mens room.

"I'm going to the mens room be right back. Don't drink my beer Pixie…" he teased.

"Ha ha." Julie said dryly. Eric eyes followed Jax as he moved away, thinking that something wasn't right but he just couldn't place it.

 

Jax shoved Darby into a handicapped stall. "Yout dipshit kid sold one of my girls coke." He punched him a few times. "Tell your dumb ass kid he's on my shit list… you worthless drug peddling shithead!"

 

Eric thoughht he noticed bruises on Jax's knuckles when he returned. He tried hard ignore it, but that was hard to do when moments after Jax left the restroom, a battered looking thug emerged.

Eric sighed and pushed his food away, his appetite suddenly gone. He didn't know what the hell his little girl was messed up in, but he didn't think he liked it. Not one bit. Jax was gentle with his son and with Julie, but then he could walk away and beat someone up before returning and acting like nothing had happened.

Eric couldn't help but feel that sort of behavior was bordering on the sociopathic. But he didn't know what, if anything, he could say to his daughter to make her understand.


	25. Chapter 25

Abel was asleep before Jax had even put him down in his crib. He smiled down at his son before joining Julie in his bedroom, where she was waiting for him, reading a book. He came around to her side of the bed and sat down next to her, putting a hand on top of her book.

"The zoo really tired him out today. He was out before his head hit the pillow," said Jax with a smile.

"Yeah, he seemed to have a good time. Did you?"

"Of course I did. Anywhere with you is a good time."

"You know that's a completely cheesy line, right?" teased Julie.

"I know."

She looked down at his hand and noticed the bruises. "When did that happen?"

Jax looked caught for a minute. "At the zoo."

"At the zoo, Jax, seriously? But how? When...you were with us the whole time."

Jax looked at her but didn't say anything.

"Lunch...your trip the men's room. What the hell happened?"

"Darby was there. I had a few words with him about his kid, because of Lyla. Which is what I thought you wanted me to do."

Julie sighed. "Yeah, I did. But my family was there."

"They didn't see a thing. I promise."

Julie looked at him skeptically but he just continued to look her in the eye, convinced of the truth of his statement until finally, little by little he saw her accept his truth. Then he pulled the book out of her lap and dropped it on the nightstand, leaning in to distract her completely from this whole awkward conversation.

 

A few days later, Tim was sitting at the picnic table outside the shop when Chibs sat down.

"Here to ask me to stay?" Tim asked

"What is it about Miss Julie that would make it worth giving up the brotherhood you found here Timmy?"

"It's not about Jules." He stopped and thought for a moment "Well it is but it's not. It's about the fact that you don't just steal another man's woman especially if you're that guy's friend."

"Didn't you tell me you did the same thing to your friend?"

"And I still feel guilty about it. Jax doesn't feel guilty or think there's anything wrong with what he's done."

"So, what is it about Julie?"

"Julie is more than just some girl to me. I love her. She's as close as I've ever gotten to someone who doesn't want to change me in order to love me… she's home, my friend…a lotta things…and Jax won't ever understand it."

"Ah, so you aren't over her?"

Tim smiled sadly. "Not even close."

"And Emily Duncan?"

"Is just a warm body," Tim sighed and ran his hand through his hair. When he looked up, Chibs was looking at him expectantly. "Don't worry, Chibs. I'm staying."

 

Jax wanted one more chance to prove to Julie's parents that he was normal and worthy of dating their daughter. The zoo trip had gone well and Jax knew that there was no way her parents could've known anything that happened with Darby.

He decided that having her parents meet his parents might be just the thing to seal the deal. If her parents could see where he came from, see that it really wasn't that different from any other family, maybe he'd be home and free. Or at least they wouldn't hassle Julie about him.

Jax found Gemma in the office, frowning over a stack of papers. She pulled off her reading glasses. "Can I help you with something?"

"Julie's trying really hard to make everything work here, Mom. Do you think maybe you could help her out? Maybe invite the Taylors over for dinner and show them that we're normal?"

"Jax, baby, I hate to break it to you, but there's no way we're going to appear even a little bit normal to that family."

"So maybe we're a little dysfunctional. I just need them to see that I'm not the second coming of the devil himself here to corrupt their daughter and lead her down a path of debauchery." Jax placed his hands on the desk and leaned forward. "Please, Mom?"

"I hate when I feel I have to prove myself to people."

"I know that but I also know you respect people when they show that they're worth their salt and that's exactly what Julie's done. She's never once apologized to anyone for being with me and she won't either."

Gemma crossed her arms over her chest and looked him over.

"For me?" he added.

"You really care about her? It's not a phase? Not just a rebound after Tara?"

"No, Ma its not a phase…I'm not the guy who grabs the nearest warm body for a roll in the hay anymore."

She nodded. "Fine. Tomorrow night. Tell them to be at the house at seven."

"Thanks, Mama…"

"I live to serve baby…now get the hell out of my office."

"Love you too Ma…" Jax smirked.

"Love you baby now seriously go fix that Dodge before I fire you."

 

Tim walked into the clubhouse, expecting to find Jax. Instead, he found Julie leaning against the wall. Her eyes were closed, her arms folded across her chest and her feet crossed one over the other.

"Headache?" he asked barely above a whisper.

"Um, hmmm how can you tell?" She didn't bother opening her eyes or moving.

"You're making the face… the migraine face." He walked over and took her hand, pressing on the pressure point between her thumb and index finger.

"Better?"

"A little…still hate me?"

"No, Jules. I love you. We'll get past this. Be friends, eventually."

Jax cleared his throat and Tim looked up to find him standing in the doorway.

"Just came to tell you that I'm in." He dropped Julie's hand. "Excedrin Migraine usually helps," he told Jax and left.

 

"What's going on?" asked Jax, looking at Julie suspiciously. She hadn't even bothered to open her eyes yet.

"Nothing. I just have a headache."

Jax nodded, his jaw clenched tight. He wasn't sure how big a deal he should make out of finding Tim standing there, holding Julie's hand. Part of him wanted to make a huge fucking deal out of it, but the other part of him thought that was a bad idea. In the end, it was the miserable expression on Julie's face that persuaded him to keep his mouth shut about it.

Instead, he walked over and pressed a light kiss to her forehead. "Gemma's invited your family over to dinner tomorrow, seven o'clock. I can call your dad and tell him. Right now, let's get you home and do something about this headache, okay?"

Julie opened her eyes slowly and looked up at him gratefully. He breathed a sigh of relief that he'd taken the right path, then put his arm around her to gently lead her out to her car.


	26. Chapter 26

Julie had agreed it was probably best that she ride over to Gemma and Clay's with her parents and Jax would meet them there. He swore he'd be there before her, to manage any awkwardness, but some dark part of her intuition suspected that he'd manage to be late.

So she was pleasantly surprised when she spotted his bike parked in the driveway, and even more happy when he was the one who answered the door. He greeted her parents and then led them into the kitchen where he introduced Tami and Eric to his mother and step-father.

Gemma handed Coach a beer while Clay picked up a platter of steaks. "Eric, you want to help us grill outside?"

Coach shrugged and followed him out. Jax leaned into Julie and whispered in her ear. "I'm going to go outside, run any interference that might be needed. You okay in here?"

Julie bit her lip and nodded, then smiled when Jax kissed her cheek before he left. When she looked up, she saw both Gemma and Tami staring at her with similar expressions that Julie took to be strained incredulity.

She fought back a blush and smiled brightly at Gemma. "How can I help?"

Gemma lit a cigarette and waved her hand. "Are you kidding, darlin'? All the hard work is done - green salad, potato salad. All that's left now is the grilling. Would you ladies like some wine?"

Tami accepted graciously and shot Julie a sharp look that reminded her she wasn't yet 21. Fighting the urge to roll her eyes, Julie told Gemma she'd get herself a glass of water.

Wineglasses in hand, the women went out at sat down at the already set dining room table.

"Wow, this is the biggest table I've ever seen," said Tami. "Y'all must have a huge family."

"You could say that," replied Gemma with a sly grin.

"How many children do you have?"

Gemma looked down. "Just Jax, now."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," said Tami, her words coming out gentle and understated. Julie had always been impressed with the way her mother could handle awkward situations.

Gemma took a deep drag off the cigarette and let the smoke out slowly. "Jax had a little brother, Thomas, but he had a heart defect and died when he was young."

"That must be tough."

"It is... but you get through it, somehow."

Tami nodded in understanding and Julie began to relax.

 

Outside, Jax listened as Eric and Clay talked about football in general and the Forty-Niners and the Dallas Cowboys in particular. He watched as Eric's keen eyes took everything in, and he tried to figure out who Julie was more like, her mom or her dad.

She certainly had her mother's good manners and way of carrying herself. But Jax suspected that Julie was also very much her father's daughter. The way Eric listened intently and seemed to notice everything was very much the way Julie approached the world.

Jax thought things were going pretty well. Clay was an easy guy to get along with, mostly, as long as you didn't cross him. But still, Jax had the sense that all things being equal, Eric would still prefer that Julie date someone else.

"Damn it, I forgot the seasoning," grumbled Clay.

"You want me to go get it?" asked Jax, putting down his beer.

"Nah, I'm gonna have to mix up a batch. Here, I've turned the heat way down, you just keep an eye on things, make sure they don't cook too fast."

"Sure thing - and you can grab Julie's veggie burger too."

"Yeah, right," said Clay with a smirk.

When Clay was gone, Jax looked over at Eric, who was gazing out over the yard.

"This where you grew up?" asked Eric.

Jax shook his head. "Nah. My mom moved in here when I was in high school, after she married Clay."

"Right. I see."

"We lived in a smaller house, other side of town, but it had a bigger yard. And a swimming pool."

Eric nodded slowly, like that all somehow made perfect sense and was entirely relevant to the conversation. Jax wasn't even sure why he'd provided the extra information. It wasn't really in his nature to be forthcoming.

"We're just a regular family, just like anybody else," said Jax, trying to keep the defensiveness out of his voice.

"Oh yeah, I get that," said Eric, his jaw clenched and his eyes squinty. He ran a hand through his hair restlessly.

"Good, you know, I really appreciate you coming and giving me a chance. It means a lot to Julie."

"She's my daughter," said Eric, the words hanging there, heavy, feeling equal parts statement and threat.

"Yeah, I get that," said Jax, somehow managing to repeat Eric's earlier line without sounding like a total smart ass.

Eric let out a small chuckle. "Look, the thing about Julie is that you gotta let her do what she's going to do. She's hard-headed and she needs to figure things out for herself."

Jax nodded. He'd certainly already learned that about Julie. Jax could tell that Eric was hoping that their relationship was just a phase, just some moment of insanity on Julie's part. And there was part of Jax that suspected it was true, that Eric would get his wish, possibly sooner rather than later. But then there was another part of Jax that just wanted desperately to prove everyone wrong.

Before he could say anything else, Clay returned with a bowl of seasoning and questions for Eric about the wisdom of using the wildcat offense.

 

The women were already sitting at the set table with all of the salads and side dishes when the men came in with the steak. Eric shot Tami a brief wide-eyed look that she took to mean that he was still not entirely comfortable with the whole situation. To be honest, she wasn't either.

Jax certainly seemed like he had his good points, but frankly, his mother seemed like a hard, scary woman and Clay was, as far as Tami was concerned, virtually unknowable. This was not the family that Tami would select for her little girl, not a million years. And judging from the tired smile on Eric's face, he wouldn't either.

Tami smiled and nodded her way through dinner, asking unobtrusive questions and trying to avoid accidentally offending anyone. She was relieved when the evening was finally over and they were able to say good-night and make their escape.

Tami waited until she could hear Gracie's snuffling little snores coming from the backseat before she said a word.

"Well, hon, what do you think?"

"What do I think?" asked Eric. "Babe, I don't know what to think. If I could make Julie change her mind, I'd do it in a cold second, no matter what it cost, but we both know she's going to do whatever she wants."

"Yeah, I know, I can't help but feel, though, like we're just standing around waiting for her to get hurt."

Eric reached out and put a hand on her cheek. "Isn't that what parenting is all about?"

 

Clay shut the door behind Jax and Julie while Gemma sunk into her favorite chair. She lit a joint and inhaled deeply, holding the smoke in her lungs for as long as possible before exhaling slowly.

"What d'you think?" asked Clay from around his cigar.

Gemma shrugged. "I don't know what to think anymore."

"How's that?"

"They're too...normal. They probably go to church every Sunday and never swear and the most exciting thing they ever do is go to football potluck dinners or some shit like that."

"It's a whole different world, ain't it?" said Clay.

"It sure is, babe. And I'm just not real sure how good she's going to fit with our world, no matter how much Jax might care about her."

"It's a phase. Don't go getting all bent out of shape about it."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. Definitely. One of them will come to their senses."

Gemma looked over at Clay. "I sure hope you're right. And I hope it happens sooner rather than later."

 

The next day, the Taylor women headed out for a girls' day out. Julie and Tami were getting pedicures while Gracie sat nearby, letting her nails dry under a heat lap.

"Mom?"

"Yeah Jules?"

"Can you just listen and not judge? Because I need someone to just listen and maybe layout my options for me and you're usually good at that," said Julie, biting her lip.

"Sure, Baby. No judgements."

"And no sharing with Dad because this…Jax and me… Tim and me… it's all just too private, okay?"

"Alright hon."

"It started out with Tim and it was great… I mean I love Tim. I do. I know that now. For all my denying it, I do love him. But I think I'm starting to love Jax and no, not just because it pisses you guys off, but because… he's different than you'd think. He's deep and quiet and funny in that every now and then, he makes a really good joke kinda like Dad is, ya know?"

"Um. Hmm…"

"And he's smart, Mom and wants to make a different life for Abel. He wants to do better and if he does it, I don't wanna miss out on that. But I can't be Gemma, Mom I can't do that

"… and I don't think I'd love him anymore if he turned into clay. Clay's ruthless and single-minded. He scares me and I won't be with the second coming of Clay Morrow…

"And then there's Tim …. And he's Tim, you know what I mean? Like all of these feelings about him are tied to many things and I can't sort it all out. I'm so confused and that scares me because I've always known what I want." Julie took a deep breath and looked at her mother expectantly.

"Ok, here's what I'd do… Wait and see with Jax and if you think its going nowhere cut your losses…Tim…. Start with the easiest piece of string to get at and just unravel the ball… Start off as friends again… you might fall back in love with him, you might not, but either way you have a friend for life in Tim," said Tami, giving Julie her best reassuring smile.

"Thanks, Mom. I feel better."

"Good anytime Jules, I love you!"

"I love you too…"

"So French pedicure huh? Glad to see your out of the black phase made your toes look like you had a fungi problem!"

"Mom!"

"It's true!"

"Yeah well looks like a bag of skittles exploded on Gracie Belle's nails."

"What you say about me?" asked Gracie.

"Just that your nails are pretty."

"She has the hearing of a bat." Julie whispered.

"Kinda like someone else I know," Tami teased


	27. Chapter 27

Jax and Julie had made a deal. She'd go to the club party with him and the next night they would rent movies and have a quiet night in. Which as how Julie found herself sitting in Jax's lap, only halfway listening to his discussion with Piney about the performance of the Indian over the Harley.

She tried not to look at the girl getting up close and personal with the stripper pole. The music was loud, and the smoke was giving her a headache. Tig was throwing daggers at her with his eyes. Tim waffled between ignoring her completely and watching her every move.

No one was really going out of their way to make her comfortable. Before she was just a prospect's girlfriend, so no one cared or even knew that she liked to sit in the corner reading a book while waiting for Tim to figure out he couldn't put the lighting back in the bottle with these guys. Except it was different now that she was Jax's girlfriend. That title came with duties but she wasn't sure what they were.

All in all, it was intensely awkward and she just wanted to go home. She saw Lyla and thought "There is a god after all." Getting up, she kissed Jax's cheek grabbed, her beer, and walked over to where Lyla stood.

"Pixie where ya goin'?"

"You've failed to keep me entertained Jax so I've found better company."

"Well excuse me then."

"Save me," Julie sing-songed as she stepped up next to Lyla.

"That bad? Tell me what did I miss?"

"Jax being aware of my presence only when I got up to leave, Tim trying to decide whether or not he wants to pretend I died, Tig hating me for reasons still unknown to the rest of the world. Gross stripper over there, smoke, lots of drunkenness and the whole entire MC hating me... other than that not too much! Your face looks better."

Bobby sidled up to them. "We don't hate you, darlin' we just don't quite get what Jax sees in you."

"Thanks for the honesty, I guess."

"Care to dance Miss Lyla?" Bobby asked.

"Sure why not?" replied Lyla, and off they went. Julie was left standing alone as Jax walked up.

"Come on, Pixie, you're no wall flower lets dance."

"You dance?" She looked skeptical as "Tuesday's Gone" started playing on the jukebox.

"With you I do." He pulled her onto what amounted to the dance floor.

"I'm pretty sure people are staring."

"You know that I don't care what people think thing I said I meant it…Although ten bucks says Tim's over there plotting ways he can kill me," said Jax with a grin.

"And hide the body right?" Julie played along.

"That too…so you having fun?"

"Um, its different than when I was with Tim… now I feel like I'm under a microscope… but hey you dealt with my family I'll deal with yours…Why doesn't Tig like me?"

"He wants in your pants… and since he can't get in them, he hates." Jax smiled at the shocked look on her face.

-/- Awhile later, Jax watched as Julie came back from the bathroom. Tim grabbed her hand, pulling her into him tightly. He put an arm around her shoulders and whispered something in her ear. Her laugh was loud and tinkly.

Julie looked over her shoulder at the girl Tim was gesturing to.

"Hey what's your name..I challenge you to a pool game." Julie shouted to the girl.

"My name's Caroline…Why?"

"Going to win some of Tim's money back for him in the interest of friendship." She separated from Tim and picked up a pool cue. The simple affection between Tim and Julie kind of ticked Jax off, but Julie needed and wanted that friendship. Jax knew that touching and flirting was how Tim related to all women, except maybe Gemma and Julie's mother, so he tried hard to let it go.

"So, what's your favorite movie?" Jax asked, picking up a copy of "Seven Pounds."

"'Before Sunrise'... You won't like it though, it's just these two people who meet randomly on a train and spend the night in Vienna, Austria talking. It's kinda like this completely random stream of consciousness, but I love it."

"Why?" Jax smiled

"It's hopeful and uplifting and makes you believe in love."

"Then we'll rent it…"

Jax lay on the couch, Abel sleeping on his chest, as he watched Julie watch the movie, her feet tucked beneath her. The characters Jesse and Celine were having their pretend phone conversations. She smiled wistfully as Celine told of the moment she'd fallen for Jesse, that she fallen in love with this somewhat broken dreamer.

At the line "I like to feel his eyes on me when I look away," Julie's eyes filled with tears. He wasn't sure if she was just a hopeless romantic or if she was relating that to Tim or himself, but as she quickly wiped at the tears, he decided not to ask.

Later, as they were heading off to bed, Jax made sure the door was open a crack so they'd hear Abel.

"So, do you know if they met up six months later or not?" Jax asked.

"Yes I know. But do you think they came back for each other? Let's see are you a romantic or a cynic?"

"I'm neither. I'm a realist. Just tell me?"

"Nuh uh, rent the sequel if you wanna know." Julie turned down her side of the bed and crawled in.

"I know you, Pixie, you'd totally get off the train wouldn't you?" He got in the bed and pulled her against his chest.

"Any relationship is a leap of faith. Everyone takes a deep breath and steps off the train at some point. If I've done it in any relationship, its definitely with you. I basically jumped off the train head first and hoped for the best."

"And how's that working out for you?" he teased, kissing the top of her head.

"So far, not so bad," she teased back.

Jax came home early for lunch. Julie had no classes today. He stepped into the house. Taking a deep breath, he smelled bleach, lemons, and vanilla.

"Jules?" he called as he went off in search of her. He found her standing on his bed, dusting the ceiling fan. She wore an old Applebee's t-shirt, softball shorts with "Lions" written in red on them, and a pink bandana to protect her hair.

She finally saw him and pulled out one of the ear buds, which was blasting out some acoustic girly music. She smiled at him.

"I love you, Julie," he said, stepping up to the bed and helping her down.

Her face wrinkled, as though she was trying to solve a puzzle. Then she grinned. "I bet you say that to any girl who cleans your house."

Jax shook his head slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. "No, I don't. I'm serious. I love you."

Her breath hitched for a mere second. "I love you too."

He picked her up and she squealed "Don't drop me…where are we going?"

"I feel like a shower."

"It's the middle of day and your mom will be back any minute with Abel. She just took him so I could clean… I love you Jax, but your place was kinda gross."

"You need to wash the dust bunnies off. Besides, Gemma called me. She's decided that she's feeling overly grandmotherly today and is going to keep Abel overnight." He put her down her in the tub.

"I can't believe you can get me to do whatever you want."

"I'm talented, now get naked."

Later that evening, he was eating the vegetarian lasagna from the night before when his phone rang.

"Okay be right there." He hung up as he was coming around the island. He kissed Julie.

"I know that face whats wrong?"

"Gotta deal with Darby's kid. Call you when it's taken care of. Lock the door behind me," he said before quickly leaving.

She knew something was off , she felt in her bones and tried very hard to brush it off. She paced for what seemed like the twentieth time when her phone rang.

"Jax"

"Julie, hello love," Chibs said.

"Chibs, why are you calling me? What happened to Jax?"

"There was a small problem with the Darby deal."

"What kind of problem, Chibs?" Her voice was shaky, edging on tearful.

"Darby's kid stabbed Jax in the shoulder. Dylan's knife caught him and sliced up his arm pretty good. Could've been worse, though. Darby nearly got off a few shots but Tim tackled him and got the gun away."

"I'm going to St. Thomas now."

"No… come to the club, darling the Doc's on her way."

"Okay. Okay, I'm coming."

"Drive carefully, Julie," said Chibs as Julie disconnected the call. Fat chance of that. Julie drove faster and more aggressively than she ever had in her life. Worry, fear, and anger fueled her single-minded haste to get to Jax and Tim.

She screeched into the lot and whipped into a spot, nearly hitting Juice.

"Yo, Pixie where's the fire?" Juice called.

She left her car door wide open and bounded into the club.

She found Jax laid out on the pool table and rushed over toward him.

"I'm fine Pixie just a flesh wound…"

"I need you outta the way Julie," Tara said all business "Go stand by your boyfriend and let me worry about Jax."

"But-"

"Just step back a little baby," Jax whispered. She backed up into Tim, who was holding a bloody washcloth up to his forehead.

"Oh god Timmy you okay?"

"Fine Jules, its just a shallow cut… Doc'll glue me back together.


	28. Chapter 28

Jax closed his eyes and grimaced while Tara poked at the jagged cut on his shoulder and upper-arm. It hurt like a bastard and he wished Juice would hurry up and get that bottle of Jack over to him quicker.

"Here, take these," said Tara, pressing a couple of pills into his good hand as Juice arrived with the alcohol.

"What is it?" he asked, each word an effort as he struggled to sit up halfway.

"Antibiotics and painkillers. You up-to-date on your tetanus?"

"I ain't takin' any painkillers," insisted Jax, thrusting his hand toward her so she could pick out the offending pills. He wanted them, god knew that he needed them, but he needed to keep his wits more. He was worried that Darby might try to come back at him tonight and he needed to be able to defend himself.

"Jax," she sighed and rolled her eyes, the voice and tone as familiar to him as the cracks in his bedroom ceiling. "Stitching this thing up is going to hurt even worse than it does now."

"I can take it. Bit of Jack to take the edge off and I'll be fine. Really, Tara, I promise," he said, wondering how many times those last two words had come out of his mouth. Tara used to call 'I promise' the shortest lie in the English language.

She sighed again and plucked out two of the pills, leaving three in his hand. He popped them into his mouth and washed them down, savoring the burn of the whiskey as it traveled down his throat.

He eased himself back down to the pool table and pressed his fist into his eye, wishing he could block out the pain as easily as he could close his eyes. Tara set about cleaning out the cut while Jax focused on keeping his breathing steady and even.

He could hear the guys moving uneasily around the clubhouse, whispering. He could also hear a reedy hiccuping, like someone was trying not to cry and not quite making it. Jax turned his head and looked over toward the nearest wall, where Tim was leaning with his arm around Julie. She had her head against his shoulder and the sounds were coming from her, even as Jax could see that she was struggling mightily to get herself under control.

"Abecrombie, get her out of here," he said more gruffly than he'd intended. "Please."

"No, Jax. Sorry," protested Julie.

Tara began to thread thick suturing line through a curved needle. Jax forced out his most reassuring smile. "Please, Pixie?"

"C'mon Julie. Doc's got it all under control. She don't need an audience," said Tim as he took Julie's hand and gently pulled her toward the door. Jax managed a small wave and then braced himself for the needle.

 

Julie let Tim pull her through the clubhouse and out into the chilly night. She'd rushed out of the house without a jacket, thinking only to put on shoes. She supposed that she should just be grateful that she wasn't in her pajamas. She folded her arms and leaned against the wall, her head down so her hair curtained her face.

She felt Tim come up next to her and press something soft into her hand. Looking down, she saw his sheepskin-lined jeans jacket, which she gratefully took and draped around her shoulders. She pulled the material around her and tried to ignore its smell, so very Tim that it send a stream of memories flooding into her brain.

"S'okay Jules, he's going to be fine. Really," said Tim.

She looked up at him, still taken aback by his bloody forehead. "What about you?"

Tim managed a tired smile. "I'm fine. Think my hard head can't handle a knock or two?"

"I suppose it can, but why are you still bleeding?" asked Julie, not able to return his smile.

"I dunno. That's what head wounds do," said Tim with a shrug. "One time, me and Jay, we musta been about six or seven, and we found this pretend hard hat in his garage. Jay said we should test it, so I put it on and he hit me over the head with a baseball bat."

Julie had to smile, since she could see the scene unfolding in her head.

"The hat cracked in a half and my head...it was like a fountain. Just gushing blood. Jay felt so bad and then he got his mom, who near about passed out. They took me to the hospital and it turned out to be this tiny cut, no longer than an inch. All that fuss over what was nearly nothing...although, getting hit in the head like that, I guess it could explain a few things."

Julie was surprised to find herself relaxing. Tim just had that effect on her - familiar, concerned, friendly. As much as she liked Chibs and Juice, she couldn't imagine either of them being able to put her at ease like Tim could.

She lost track of time as they waited, mostly in silence although Tim did ask some questions about her classes and her different jobs. After what felt like a lifetime, the clubhouse door creaked open and Jax shuffled out, Chibs right at his side.

Julie's first instinct was to rush to him, which she did, but she stopped short of touching him for fear of hurting him.

"I'm fine, Pixie. Really. Only took thirty-seven stitches and half a bottle of whiskey, but I'm going to live," said Jax as he put uninjured arm around here. "Abecrombie, Doc's ready for you."

Tim said goodbye to Julie, his hand brushing her shoulder as he walked past her.

"Thanks... for everything," said Jax, looking at Tim intently. Tim just nodded and waved, then walked into the clubhouse.

"Get this man home and take good care of him," said Chibs, opening the door of Julie's car for Jax.

 

After Tara cleaned up Tim's forehead and applied a few butterfly bandages, she had to take a look at Tig's hand, which she didn't think was broken but advised him that he should go to the hospital if the swelling didn't go down in a few days. She was on her way out when Half-Sac cornered her with some convoluted, hypothetical questions that nearly gave her a headache. She smiled and nodded, answered as briefly as she could, and then headed out to her car.

Tara set her bag on the passenger seat and noticed the bottle of painkillers sitting on the top. It made her think of Jax and his stubborn refusal of the pills earlier. She knew that as time went on and adrenaline wore off, he would really be feeling his injury. She sighed and drummed her fingers on the steering wheel, debating whether she should drop the pills off at his house.

"Don't be a baby, Knowles. It's just dropping off the pills at a patient's house," Tara told herself through clenched teeth. She put the car in drive and left the parking lot. It was a short drive and soon she was pulling up in front of Jax's house.

She knocked on the door hesitantly and waited. She could hear a rustle near the doorway. She could picture Jax looking through the peephole and suppressed the urge to stick her tongue out at him.

When the door was finally pulled open, Tara was surprised to see Julie standing there, dressed only in one of Jax's t-shirts.

"Come on in," said Julie, who seemed quite at home in Jax's house, even if she did seem a tiny bit uneasy about the unexpected visitor.

"Just came by to drop these off and check on him," said Tara as she stepped past Julie into the narrow hallway.

"He's in the bedroom," she replied, then headed toward the living room, apparently happy to leave her man alone with another woman. Tara didn't pretend to understand Julie's nonchalance, she was too busy fuming over finding a new girlfriend in Jax's house, especially that girl.

Tara walked into the bedroom where Jax was laying on the bed, his injured shoulder supported by extra pillows. Reading the anger on her face, e gave her a tired, apologetic smile and rubbed the side of his head.

"Sorry, I suppose I should've said something to you, sometime, but it's not like we talk much anymore."

"Jax, you just let me look like an idiot, assuming she was with Tim," said Tara.

He half-shrugged. "You were standing over me with a needle, it was kinda the last thing on my mind."

"How long has this been going on?"

"Tara, it's not even like that. You moved out. You broke up with me. You're the one who wanted space and time to figure things out."

"Yeah, well, maybe I was still figuring," she said, hating how petulant she sounded.

He looked sad, but mostly he just looked exhausted. "Well, you took too long."

"Apparently so...Jesus, Jax, is she even 20 years old."

He pursed his lips and gave a look that clearly said he wasn't going to dignify that with an answer.

"This isn't going to last," she said, setting the painkillers down on the dresser.

"Well, neither did we," he said with a sigh as he closed his eyes.

Tara had so much she wanted to say to him, but she suddenly just did not see the point. "Take care of yourself, Jax," she said as she turned and walked out of the room. She called to Julie that she was leaving so the girl could lock the door behind her, but she didn't wait around to say goodbye.


	29. Chapter 29

Julie picked up the pills and climbed into bed with Jax.

"You should really take these Jax." She dangled the bottle in front of him.

"Gotta stay alert, baby."

"Just a half-one then so you can sleep." She pressed her lips into the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply. She kissed along his good shoulder.

"Jules, I'm tired baby."

"Yeah... Yeah, sorry I just I guess its one of those things when you go through a traumatic experience you want to have some life-affirming sex. Do you think she's right about us? Not lasting?"

"Tara's just jealous babe…She's never been around when I was with someone else before…so just don't pay any attention to it." He turned his face to kiss her. "Now, about this life affirming-sex thing…I've changed my mind… The lower half works fine." He pulled her until she was straddling him. She leaned down, kissing him. until they were interrupted by another knock at the door.

"Motherfucking people are a buzz kill." Julie swore against his lips.

Jax chuckled. "Definitely been hanging out with me to long." She grumbled as she crawled off him to answer the door. She swung the door open and there stood Tim.

"Oh your coat, I'm sorry I forgot." She walked over and picked it up off the couch. When she handed it to him, he pulled her into him and hugged her.

"You did good tonight Jules."

She smelled the sweet tang of whiskey on his breath and could see that he was slightly drunk. "No, I didn't I acted like a baby about it," she mumbled into his shoulder awkwardly.

"It's hard when bad things happen to people we love…why you think it took me so long to see Jay?" She hugged him back for reasons she wasn't really sure of. Inhaling deeply again, she was struck by the mixing of Tim and Jax's scent that lingered on her shirt.

"You guys scared me…I kept thinking the stupidest things like I couldn't remember the last thing I said to you…or if I'd told Jax…anyway…" She leaned back to look at his head. "You sure you ok?"

"Fine Jules, The last thing you said to me before… was that I owed you half the pool sharking money… Jax knows you love him…Just like I know you love me…" he wobbled. "Just a tad drunk and a lil sleepy no big baby…"

"Why don't you sleep on the couch I'll feel better? Safer?"

"Sure Jules, No problem." Jax had listened to their conversation and tilted his head, he was able to see them standing at the door, holding each other. He tried to be mad about it, but that was the thing with Julie, he just couldn't be angry with her.

In a weird way, he was nearly envious of her, that she could still maintain a decent relationship with her ex-boyfriend and have conversations with him that didn't leave one of them wanting to kill the other. He and Tara...hell, fast-forward twenty years and she would still probably look at him with that jaundiced eye and fling veiled barbs at him with no provocation.

Jax could hear Julie gathering spare pillows and blankets from the linen closet. She settled Tim on the couch patiently, her tone light and easy. Jax smiled to himself. Such a little mother hen. He had nothing to worry about. Nothing at all.

Julie came into the bedroom and closed the door firmly behind her. She hesitated momentarily, biting her lip and looking at him apologetically.

"I get it, Jules. I do," he said, his voice low and soft. She gave him a relieved smile as she walked over and climbed into bed. She put her head on his good shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her.

She pressed a kiss into his neck, her warm breath making him shiver. Then she laid her head back down.

"Nu-huh. You're not getting away that easy," he teased. He dropped his arm and nudged her so she rolled onto her back. He lifted himself onto his good arm and leaned forward, trailing soft kisses over her upper arm and neck, pretty much anywhere he could find exposed skin.

"Jax," she whispered, fidgeting. "I think our new houseguest means a raincheck on the life-affirming sex."

He grinned and lightly covered her lips with his finger tips. "I know you can be good and I'll make sure you're quiet," he whispered, his voice a low growl as Julie's wide, gleaming eyes let him know he'd just hit a button she didn't even know she had.

 

Afterwards, Julie had drifted off to sleep without even realizing it, the events of the night having taken their toll. She awoke only when Jax's arm flung out and his hand landed with a smack on to her hip.

She'd gotten him to take the medication through much cajoling and he was still dead to the world asleep. Moving his arm gingerly ,she crept from the bedroom. After using the bathroom, she stood staring at Tim's sleeping form, one foot and arm hanging off the couch, his face hidden in the arm cushion.

Smiling, she thought back to simpler times.

"He really is like the hardest person to sleep with Ty…"

"I know…I remember… it's like sleeping with a spider monkey or something… try putting him on the couch. Less space equals less movement."

"He doesn't have a couch."

"So, make him buy one…"

"Jules, its ugly…" It was white with a red and green plaid print. "It's like a pissed off roll of Christmas wrapping paper attacked it … it's not rough and tumble…it's not me…"

"It's cheap, Tim. It's you."

"I'm never ever moving this couch again… here lets break it in…."He laid down, pulling her down on top of him. "Comfy…and you fit nice too." 

"Aw, you're so cute…"

"Do I sense some sarcasm Taylor?"

"You remember the last time… we laid like this?"

"Riggins Rigs…" He flipped her beneath him causing a fit of giggles. 

She lifted his han,d laying it back on the couch. He squeezed her hand as his eyes crept open. "Morning."

"Morning, Tim. Feel ok?"

"Could use some breakfast…"

"Omelets…" and then his phone rang. Julie wasn't sure if that ringing had saved her or destroyed the moment."

"On my way," Tim muttered then hung up.

Jax woke to the smell of breakfast. He stumbled out of the bedroom with a seriously disgruntled look.

"Where's your sling? Tara said you had to use it and as much as I dislike her, I trust her medical opinion…I'll help you put it on … made you a veggie omelets I don't cook flesh, Morning Jax… love you…"

"You're to damn perky you know that? I love you too."

"How ya feel? That bottle says eat first then take the medicine…I took some old fabric I had for an old art project and padded your holster for you… so it doesn't break down your stitches…"

"Julie, you're doing your word wall thing…what's wrong?" He cut into his omlette.

"Huh?" Julie was lost.

"Mmm, good… you do this thing where you build this wall of words around you when you're nervous or upset, so what's up?"

"It's just I'm a lil shook up still and I know you're probably mad at me for letting Tim stay last night but he was drunk and all wobbly and I didn't want him riding home."

"Well, your wrong Pix I'm not mad at you for anything… and I really am sorry we scared you… you handled it real well though I was proud…"

"I cried…"

Jax shrugged. "So did my mom when my dad got shot when I was six…this life takes some getting used too but you're doin' fine Jules."

"Well I've never nursed anyone back to health unless you count pumping Tim full of Dayquil a few months ago and force feeding Matty chicken noodle soup when he had the flu sophomore year …so his grandma wouldn't kill him for eating her snack wells in his sickened delirium… so just kinda bare with me."

"You really are kinda weird Pixie…"

"Take that back or I won't join you in the bath…"

"Consider it firmly taken back."

 

Jax emerged from the bathroom towel drying his hair. "Jules, I think I should get injured more often if it means I get you to be my personal back washer."

"Hm, cute I believe I'll pass." She kissed him then hurried off to dress. "I'll help you in just a second babe." she hollered to him

"I can dress myself woman!"

"No, you'll pop a stitch or something."

Julie helped him dress but looked a little peaked when having to touch his gun.

She helped him into his cut, then drove him to work at his insistence. He kissed her goodbye, but she didn't leave.

She knew Gemma well enough now to know that since Jax would be physically useless to the club or the shop for awhile yet, she would send him home to recuperate. She got to eighty five bottles of beer on wall before he stomped out looking like Oscar the Grouch in leather.

"I tried to tell you, baby."

"Yeah whatever," grumbled Jax as they got into Julie's car.

"Ok that's how we're playing it huh? Back to your place. We can watch a movie before my classes, if you want…what time do I need to pick up Abel…"

"I didn't ask…. Yeah sure a movie fine ,whatever…"

"Can you tell me how many times you're going to go from pissed off to a drugged up little Mary sunshine today, because this is gonna wear thin really fast, Jackson."

"I don't like not being able to do my job…or ride my bike…my girlfriend has to dress me for Christ sake…"

"I get that, I do… I get that your arm is all itchy and you hurt and you hate being dependent on others… but don't be a baby about," said Julie as she eased the car into reverse and then started to drive toward the exit of the lot.

"Yeah ok we wouldn't even be here if you hadn't asked me to play Lyla's savior!" said Jax, smacking a hand against the dashboard in frustration. Julie slammed on the brakes, bringing the car to an abrupt stop.

Every single person in the Teller lot watched as Julie opened the car door, got out and gave it a satisfying slam before stalking off. Tim muttering to Juice "Wow, that's bad."

Tim walked over to the car, leaning down he spoke to Jax through the open window. "Word of advice go after her…I didn't and ended up the loser so…"

Julie realized her mistake the second she'd slammed the car door. This was Jax's territory. Where the hell was she going to go? Was she going to walk to Lodi? She should've made him get out of the car.

With a sigh, she went into the club, where the first thing she heard was Tig saying "Maybe giving him a bell would help…"

"Do you ever shut up?" Julie asked as she shot him a dirty look. She sunk into the nearest couch and leaned her head back so she could stare dumbly at the ceiling.

Gemma sat down next to Julie on the couch.

"Everything ok Miss Pixie?"

"Your son is being an as,s but other than that I'm fine. How are you?"

"Fine…I'll keep Abel awhile longer don't take his shit Darlin'."

Jax entered and it seemed like both Tig and Gemma suddenly realized they had somewhere else they needed to be immediately. He sat down next to Julie, unsure whether or not he should touch her, he just started talking.

"Listen Pixie…"

"Don't you think I already feel guilty enough Jax you and Tim got hurt all because I tried to help someone? I don't need you pointing out its my fault even if its true…"

"I'm sorry Julie I didn't mean any of that. You just got in my line of fire babe…I'm glad you came to me about Lyla. You did the right thing, despite its consequences. Tim and I knew what we were doing when we went there you are in no way at fault."

"Okay."

"Just okay?"

"Apology accepted… you're forgiven…"

"Then would you please look at me and not your feet?"

She looked at him. "I don't like to fight…"

"Aw but you're good at it…" he teased.

"I caused a scene."

"Oh well, not the first in the Teller-Morrow lot and I'm sure it won't be the last. Lets go watch that movie."

 

Halfway through "The Notebook," someone knocked on the door. Julie opened it to find Tim standing there, holding a bag of burgers.

"Brought you some lunch dude… because Jules doesn't cook flesh… aw shit she notebooked you, dude."

"Not that bad of a movie actually…the Allie chick is hot… come in." Tim sat in the floor at Julie's feet.

"You have chair-hatred don't you, dude?" she teased. Picking up her bowl of pasta salad.

"Is that your Mom's pasta salad?"

"Made it myself here try…" she fed him a bite. "Seems off to me like I forgot something."

"Parmesan… you forgot the parm…"

"You're like Rainman but with food…"

"Aw I feel loved."

"You know it…Tyra called wants to know if you're coming home for the birth of the newest little Riggy…"

"I suppose I need to be there. Jay's supposed to be going home around the same time, so that's double reason to go. You should go too."

Jax's phone rang and he had to go into the bedroom to answer it, so he didn't get to hear Julie's response to that. He wasn't sure how he felt about it.

"Teller," he said into the phone.

"I hear you got sliced and diced and I also I heard your fucking a tween too. Not sure which I find more disturbing," Opie said by way of greeting.

"Her name's Julie and she's not a tween she's twenty."

"Uh huh… why? I thought you and Tara were good… you got Tara playin' doc and the little girl playing nurse?"

"Fuck you dude. Luck with Tara ran out…"

"So, what you're fucking a teenager to get even?"

"Did my mom sic you on me or something?"

"No, Chibs told me you're crazy about a blonde idealist teenager. That's not good, dude. Young ones make shitty old ladies, you know that…"

"Chibs needs to talk less. When you comin' Home, Ope?"

Opie was silent.

"Huh thought so. Be safe bro, looks like I might be going to Texas for a bit." Jax hung up and walked back into the living room.

"A man didn't write this shit we don't think like this." Tim protested.

"Sure you do. I remember my birthday."

"You're special…another bite?"

"Here just take it I'm done anyway."

Jax knew it was simple harmless interaction, but he still felt like an outsider. All he kept thinking was that Julie didn't eat after him. God he really was starting to lose it over this girl.


	30. Chapter 30

When Julie asked him about the road trip, two things were clear to Jax. One, she was going to go whether or not he did. Two, she truly did want him to go. He agreed to go based on how important it was to her. At least that's what he told himself.

Jax pulled into Gemma's driveway, Abel happily chattering away in his car seat, a bunch of nonsense syllables and giggles that made Jax smile. He took his son out of the car seat, hefted the overnight bag on his shoulder, and headed into the house.

Gemma was sitting at the dining room table, reading a book and smoking, when they walked in. She smiled and got up, happily taking her grandson into her arms. Jax placed the bag on the table.

"Thanks for looking after him, Ma. I really appreciate it."

"Well, it's fun to be Grandma. But you better not be gone longer than two weeks."

Jax shook his head. "Six days of driving, six days there if that. Julie's got a test to get back for anyway. No danger of me running off into the sunset with my girl and her ex-boyfriend."

Gemma rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Jackson, explain to me again why you're going on this trip."

"I told you...it's important to Julie. She wants me to meet her friends, see where she grew up, that sort of thing," replied Jax with a frustrated sigh.

"Uh-huh," said Gemma, using her most annoying 'I'm not buying what you're selling' tone. "And it's got nothing to do with the prospect."

"No!" said Jax sharply.

"Jax, you're trying too hard. You should just let her go off on this little trip, and if she comes back to you, then great. But the idea that you need to be there every minute, to spy on her. It's just wrong Jax."

"Yeah, it is," he replied, keeping his tone even. "Because it ain't like that at all. Julie told me that Dillon made her who she was, just the same as Charming did for me. I'm just curious, to see what the place is like."

Gemma laughed, the sound bitter and strained. "I can tell you what it's like. It's a bunch of narrow-minded, church-going people who think they're better than everybody else."

Jax shook his head and held up his hands. "I am not going to fight with you about this."

"We're not fighting, Jackson, we're having a conversation," said Gemma, bouncing Abel on her hip so that he laughed.

"Right. Well, the conversation's over. I gotta run." He kissed his mother and his son goodbye and then left.

 

Jax wasn't so sure how much fun a road trip with Tim and Julie was going to be. He would've preferred to ride his bike but Julie said she didn't have the stamina to make the three day ride on the back. Tim didn't feel comfortable enough with long distances yet either.

Instead, they took Jax's SUV, which hardly ever saw any use. The plan was to drive three days, straight through, each of them alternating the driving.

Julie took off her denim jacket setting it on the console between them. Jax looked over and noticed her shirt for the first time: a black tank top covered in pink roses with black crocheted straps and a crocheted back. He thought she resembled a demented doily but that was Julie for you.

She shifted in her seat and he took in her long legs, encased in tight black denim. Her make up was done like usual and her hair was in a curly low side ponytail. Silver hoops in her ears matched the silver flats on her feet.

"You're awful dressed up to ride in the car Pixie…"

"Sadie made me buy the top and I never wear it so I thought why not."

"You real nice either way Jules." Tim piped up from the back seat.

"Thank you Tim."

"Lets play twenty questions." Tim said.

"I hate playing twenty questions with you… you always turn it sexual." Julie said.

"I promise to be good."

"Yeah right…ok whatever go…"

"What's your favorite Jane Austen book? See, non sexual you left Sense and Sensibility at my place… I got so bored I read it…" Julie laughed as did Jax.

"You did not read it I call bullshit on that… Timmy…Bull-shit." she teased.

"Just answer…"

"Pride and prejudice," said Julie. "Ok favorite Movie both of you?"

"Brian's Song…" Tim said

"Hell fighters…" jax said. "You're first real sexual attraction?"

"I thought we all agreed no pervy questions…" Julie replied.

"I didn't agree to any such thing Pix." He smiled at her raising, his eyebrows suggestively. "Answer."

"Ugh, fine… you," she said, pointing at Tim, "are not to say anything ever as long as we live…and you are not getting details….Jason Street…"

Tim burst out laughing. "Oh no you don't, Taylor. You have to elaborate."

"I refuse…"

"Wait isn't that guy your buddy, Abercrombie?"

"Yeah seriously Jules… you can't just drop that on me and move on…"

"I can and I will so there."

Julie's phone rang. "Hey Tyra, Well Tim charmed me into coming plus there's the added bonus of seeing you…"

"Hey Collette…"

"She says Hey Tim… Yes I am bringing the new cute boyfriend for your approval…umm hmm… Well I imagine they'll make us stay in separate rooms but oh well…yeah we're just a few hours in so tell Mindy no pushing till we get there…I'll be mad if I drive for three days and its all for naught…"

"Yeah Minds no pushing …do that breathing shit…what's the hell does naught mean baby?" Tim finished.

"Just another word for nothing," replied Julie, relieved that the well-time phone call had distracted Tim from the Jason Street conversation

 

They made good time ,and as Tim passed the "Welcome to Texas" sign, he felt himself begin to decompress. Julie was asleep with her feet on the dash and her head cushioned by travel pillow leaning on the door. Jax was snoring and stretched out across the backseat.

Jax suddenly woke and sat up stretching " Where are we dude?"

"Middle of nowhere, Texas…" T

hey rode in silence for awhile until Tim reached over and put a hand on Julie's thigh, He nudged her awake. "Jules,"

"Hm…"

"Look Blue bonnets…" he pointed to the side of the road where they grew wild.

"Pull over."

"What for, Pixie?"

"Oh hey babe sleep well? Pull over Timmy…"

"Jules Baby you can't pick them its illegal…" Tim plead.

"No one will know no one's here…" she bailed out "I want to take some home with me."

A few minutes later, she returned to the car and put a pile of flowers on the dashboard.

"Ooh. I love this song…" Julie tuned it up, singing along. Then Tim joined in loudly, causing Jax to flinch

"I wish you would come pick me up take me out fuck me up screw all my friends…"

"Please don't actually screw all my friends, Jax. Tim's already done it," said Julie with a teasing grin.

"That's so not fair. I dated Tyra and Lyla before I dated you…so technically I screwed their friend," protested Tim.

"You guys kinda have a fucked up relationship." Jax added.

He watched them, noticing that the closer they got to Dillon, the slower Tim and Julie seemed to breathe, move and speak. It was like some sort of homing beacon, relaxing them back into the rhythms of their place.


	31. Chapter 31

When they finally pulled into Dillon, Julie was fidgeting in the back seat. "I really have to pee guys."

"Can't you hold it the four blocks to your parents?" asked Tim, a hint of exasperation in his voice.

"No, go to the Qwik-Stop."

"Yes ma'am…"

"I will hit you, Tim," said Julie, trying not to laugh. Tim pulled into the parking lot and snagged a spot right near the door. Jax got out and opened the car door for Julie, helping her out. He held open the store door for Tim and Julie.

"Hm. They finally replaced the neon sign taken out by the tornado…" Julie told Tim as they all walked in.

"Took them long enough huh?" He stopped to pick up a copy of the Daily Dillon News, as Jax and Julie walked hand-in-hand to the back of the store. Julie went into the ladies' room while Jax stood outside the door waiting on her to finish up.

When she came out, she looked relieved, and then puzzled that Jax was still standing there. "Jax baby this is Dillon you didn't have to wait on me I'm not going to get mugged by a mayan in the Quikstop ladies' room."

"I know just habit…" he pulled her to him, kissing her firmly. She pulled back with a smile, then took his hand, ready to find Tim and finally get home. But then she looked over and saw Lorraine Saracen looking lost in the cookie aisle.

"Be right back," she said as she dropped Jax's hand, gave him a playful wave and headed over to the older woman.

"Looking for your Snackwells, Grandma?" asked Julie, her smile showing her delight at running into a familiar face.

Lorriane turned "Julie Taylor! What are you doin' home sweetheart?"

"Home to see my parents and Tyra…we'll have to take you for a girls night at Seven Senoritas while I'm home, you game?" Julie grabbed the cookies, anding them to her with a grin.

"You bet you girls keep me young."

Tim walked over to where Jax stood.

"Who's that?" Jax pointed to Julie and Lorraine just as Shelby came around the corner to stand next Lorraine.

"That's Seven's… I mean Matt Julie's ex from high school? That's his grandma…I'm going to go say hi…" Jax followed him, staying on the fringe of things.

"Timothy Riggins…" Tim leaned down, hugging the fragile woman she touched his face

"Still handsome as ever… even though you still need a haircut."

Tim smiled slyly "I know…"

"You being good?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Jax suddenly realized that tim had a town full of surrogate mothers who looked after him. He noticed Julie gently and quickly run her fingertips down Tim's tricep. The ring with a lapis stone that Jax bought her in a dingy little shop in San Francisco caught in the harsh overhead lighting.

As quickly as he was mad about it, he realized just as quickly that Julie was soothing Tim, the way someone might do to a scared horse. Jax knew Tim didn't really like people much, so for him to approach someone first was kind of a big deal. Jax was pretty sure he was the only one who knew that Tim was trying to let Julie Taylor, the social butterfly and constant talker, flourish in her natural habitat and he probably really liked Seven's grandma. Whoever the hell Seven was.

"And How's Seven?" asked Tim.

Lorriane looked stumped.

"He means Matt." Julie supplied.

"Oh, well you're the only one who calls him that…. He's good doing his art thing and dating some girl named Isis who has hair the same color as Cookie Monster's... odd looking girl, I'll tell you ,but real sweet." Julie fought hard not to laugh.

"Go ahead laugh we did for twenty minutes on the drive home." Shelby said and Julie and Tim both cracked up.

"We might be sorry we missed that jules." Tim added.

"And who's this handsome young man?" Lorraine gestured to Jax.

"Oh I'm sorry babe didn't know you where behind me." Julie said.

"Its alright sounded like an intresting story…."

"It is if you know Matt because it doesn't seem entirely plausible but… anyway this is my boyfriend, Jax," said Julie. Jax gave his best smile and offered a hand to both Lorraine and Shelby.

"Well I bet that made for interesting road trip, huh, Miss Julie? I'm Lorriane Saracen…nice to meet you… you be good to our girl now…I don't think that'll be a problem though. You have nice eyes."

Jax laughed and thanked her for the compliment.

Lorraine staged whispered to Julie "Tell me more later?"

Julie laughed a true sound of merriment. "You and Tyra are at the top of my list."

 

"I forgot what a trip Grandma Saracen is," Tim said as they walked out.

"She's interesting, that's for sure." Jax commented.

"My all-time favorite was when she told Landry to quit throwing the ball because he looked like a girl…and them called him funny looking." Julie said, making Tim laugh.

"I wonder if Lando will be around. I haven't seen him in ages," said Tim as he started up the car.

Jax steeled himself for the reunion with Julie's parents, but she said they'd be at work and the plan was to head over to Tim's brother's house, where their friends were waiting for them. He tried not to breath a visible sigh of relief, but the way Julie met his eyes in the rearview mirror and grinned, he suspected she knew that the big bad biker was a tiny bit intimidated by her dad.

Tim's brother's house was a low-slung ranch with a dead lawn. A tall, willow blonde and a guy in a wheelchair waited on the narrow walkway to the front door.

Watching his girlfriend practically launch herself gleefully at the statuesque beautiful blonde, who had to be her best friend Tyra, was quite comical. Julie talked a mile a minute, forgetting his existence as did Tim when he talked the guy in the chair, whom Jax guessed had to be his best friend Jason.

Jax hung back, leaning against the SUV. It was like watching a National Geographic special or something, watching these two rare creatures in their natural habitats. He had the sinking feeling that no matter how much Julie complained about small-town Texas, this would always be her home.

He felt eyes on him and realized Tyra was giving him the once over. She spoke, not bothering to lower her voice. "Not bad, Jules... you were right. Very James Dean meets Kurt Cobain… bet your Mama loves him."

She walked over slowly and introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Tyra."

"Jax," he said as he shook her hand. She had a firm grip and looked him in the eye, somehow silently communicating that if he messed with her best friend, she would make his life a living hell.

Jax smiled easily, a silent promise that he had no intention of hurting Julie. Then he shifted his gaze to watch as Julie leaned down to hug Jason, who was intently watching the interactions between Tim and Julie.

A guy about Jax's age ambled out of the house and walked over to Jax. "I'm Billy, you must be Jax. I've heard a lot about you," his tone was friendly, but Jax still couldn't help wondering what, exactly, Tim had told him.

Billy walked over and gave Julie a hug. "Come on in. Let's give everyone a chance to catch up before you head over to the Taylors' house."

"Besides it'll take you awhile to separate Taylor and Collette." Tim added.

"Okay." Jax got the feeling he would have a better chance of fitting in with Tim's family than with the entirely too functional Taylor family, but he'd keep trying for Julie.


	32. Chapter 32

Jax sat and watched all their overlapping conversations. Julie sat on the arm of the couch next to him. Tim, who'd gotten up to get another beer, stood next to her. He reached over and pulled a long blonde hair off the back of Julie's shirt, then fell back into the conversation.

"Thanks." she whispered and Tim shrugged.

"Just remember your pants this time bro," Tim told Billy.

"And remember to lay off the Red Bull," Julie added.

"And your little chant… you're the dad you're the dad." Tyra put in and everyone was laughing.

"Y'all are all mean." Billy pouted.

Julie got up. "I'm gong to go stare at Stevie Hannibal, who's with me?"

"Do not wake him up," Mindy warned.

"I baby sat… I know better," Julie replied as she walked into the room that had been Tim's when they were in high school, Tyra trailing behind her while the hung back as the topic turned to motorcycles.

"Ten buck says the new kid's middle name is Carrie or Freddie." Julie joked

"So you and Jax?" asked Tyra with an arched eyebrow.

"Are good…"

"Tim?"

"Is so confusing," said Julie with a sigh, biting her lip.

"Why's that?"

"Because I love them both and my parents hate Jax and I dunno it's complicated."

"Tim loves you. You know how I know?"

"How?"

"He finds reasons to touch you. He's not a toucher, Jules, not unless he really cares about someone, really loves them. Hell, you know, when I was dating him, I swear he touched Jason Street more than me. Not that he loved him the same way he loves you," added Tyra quickly.

Julie gave her a weak smile and nodded her head.

"And it's kind of funny, every time Tim touches you, Jax looks like he wants to punch him in the face."

"I know it bothers Jax but it's so much a part of how Tim and I relate that I don't really notice it anymore."

"Maybe that should tell you something…when being with or near someone is as natural as breathing that means something, Jules… Now how's the sex?"

"I'm assuming you mean sex with Jax and not tim."

"You're not sleeping both of them are you?" Tyra accused in a fierce whisper.

"I'm dating a biker, I'm not a whore," replied Julie, rolling her eyes.

"Well I was referring to Jax. I so don't need to hear the details on Tim - been there, done that, got the t-shirt."

"It's certainly different with Jax …. It's like… ok you know that cake my mom makes with the carmel and the whip cream and Butterfingers crushed on it?"

"The Better-Than-Sex cake?"

"Yeah that... And you know how we kept wondering if the cake was, in fact better than sex? Well, I've finally decided that it's not. Sex with Jax is that cake, it's everything you want all in one place…we're good at the sex part. It's all the other pieces of his life that mess us up."

"And what kind of cake would sex with Tim be?"

"Red velvet…kind of slow easy comforting and still somehow perfect…connection isn't my and Tim's problem we connect on a lot of levels…its his choices that are the problem."

-/-

They finally made it to Julie's parents' house, where they had dinner with forced cheer and politeness. After they had retired to separate rooms, Jax considered sneaking into Julie's bed, but that seemed a tad bit to high school for his tastes.

Besides, unlike Tara's house, he didn't know which floorboards squeaked and which door hinges creaked. He'd surely wake the sleeping dragon that was Julie's father. Hell, the man had watched them kiss goodnight with his eyes all squinty and his jaw locked. Jax smirked in the dark, staring at the ceiling. The sacrifices you had to make to date the good girl were numerous.

Jax picked up his phone and sent her a text. Pixie, you wearing panties?

He could hear the buzz in the next room, followed by muffled laughter.

His phone buzzed a few seconds later. Why don't you come over and check?

He smiled and shook his head. Because I don't feel like having your dad kill me. 

He was expecting another text and was surprised to see Julie in his doorway, her hair glowing from the dim nightlight in the hallway. He hadn't even heard her move.

"That was like Mission Impossible," he whispered.

"Being a dancer has its perks…. No sex, though, so don't get too excited. Now, scoot over."

"Are you having a good time this weekend?" he whispered into her hair.

"Yes."

"Good."

"Night Jax."

"Night Julie."

-/-

He woke with only her scent on the sheets and her loud laugh emanating from the kitchen. Later that day, they got the call from Tyra that the newest Riggins was on his or her way. Jax still wasn't sure why he and Julie were at the hospital, parked on a hard Scotch-guarded blue couch, watching Twilight on the waiting room T.V. But still, there they were.

"This movie is pointless," Julie said.

"Why's that Jules?" Tim asked as he walked the tiny space with the cranky two-year old Stevie, who was fighting sleep.

"Because real men don't sparkle," Julie and tyra said in unison. Julie stretched out on the couch.

"Here gimme," she gestured to Stevie. "He's a little boy not a football."

Tim handed him over and Julie settled him on top of her, gently kissing his head as she soothed him to sleep.

When the pushing started, Tyra went into the delivery room. She was back an hour later to make the announcement.

"Amelia Matilda Riggins is here."

"I'm going to call her Tilly." Tim said.

"That's mean Tim." Julie said.

"Come on Jules…lets go see her," replied Tim with a grin. "You too, Teller."

Julie stood at Tim's elbow as he held the baby "I forget how tiny they are. So what you gonna do with a niece, huh?"

"I feel like she should come with a handle with care sign," said Tim. "Maybe I just can't remember, but Stevie seemed more sturdy than this."

"You're doing fine, Timmy."

"The the breakableness freaks me out… wanna hold her?"

"Sure…"

-/-

Tim and Jax went to The Landing Strip for a few drinks to celebrate the birth of Tim's niece. Then they went back to the Taylors' to get Julie for dinner at Seven Senoritas.

Tim walked in first, followed by Jax. Gracie leapt at Tim, and he picked her up easily, swinging her on to his hip.

"How's my best girl?" Tim asked.

"Julie's not here," Gracie replied.

"I was referring to you, goofball," said Tim with a smile. Gracie kissed his cheek before he put her down.

"You just charm every woman you meet, don't you Abercrombie," Jax said.

"Me and Gracie go way back huh?" he ruffled her hair.

"Where is Jules?" Jax asked.

"She went to her thinking place."

"God I hate the thinking place." Tim whined.

"Why?" Jax inquired.

"Come I'll show you… her granola boy rebound gave her the idea. If I ever run into the guy, I may punch him in the face." Tim said.

-/-

Tim parked his truck next to the water tower.

"Okay where is she?" Jax asked.

Tim pointed up. "On top. I'm afraid of heights. Jesus I hate getting her down."

They got out of the truck.

"Jules, get the hell down from there! Coach is gonna kill me if you fall off or some shit. I thought we agreed you get a new thinking place… that one being too far from the ground all." Tim shouted up at her.

"I'll get her." Jax began climbing up the ladder. "I'm coming up Pixie."

He climbed and sat down next to her. "Now why are we up here?" he put his arm around her.

"I like it. It helps me think, clears my head. Reminds me there are places bigger than Dillon and that I need to see them all before I end up wanting to stay here because its comfortable. Predictable and home."

"That's what you're thinking about?" asked Jax, who couldn't help but wonder what that meant for him in the long run. Maybe his mother was right. Maybe a girl like Julie just never would be happy in Charming. Maybe her trajectory would always pull her right back here.

Julie smiled at him. "Well you know, that and other things. The meaning of life. Whether Tim found a Stratton sister to bone yet. If I should dye my hair brown… you know just normal everyday stuff," she smirked.

"The only answer I know is don't dye your hair. It's beautiful and you're perfect," said Jax, kissing her.

They heard Tim below them muttering loudly. "Why I can't just pick a normal girl one who doesn't climb up to the highest point in town to think? Someone who didn't date his friend and smell like oranges and eat tofu, but oh no I have to love the girl is all those things."

"He talks to himself when he's worried or scared. I'm coming down Timmy." Julie shouted with a giggle.

"Stay away from the edge, baby." Jax said.

"Do you play ping pong Jackson?" Julie asked and Jax could only nod, confused, wondering what was going on in her head.


	33. Chapter 33

On his way to get fireworks to celebrate the birth of little Tilly, Tim stopped by Jason's house, a little surprised to find Six outside, shooting hoops.

"Your mom driving you nuts, Six?" asked Tim as he walked up with an easy grin.

"Yeah, what was your first clue, Riggs?" asked Jason as he let off a shot that hit the rim and bounced out.

Tim caught the rebound and dribbled the ball a few times. "Musta been something fierce if it drove you to basketball."

Jason gave a frustrated sigh. "It's just somehow, I manage to take care of myself in New Jersey, get myself into my job in the City every damn day. I'm responsible for a child and pay bills and do all these things, but then I come home and she still treats me like some damn baby who's incapable of doing anything for himself."

"Well, you know, Six, I don't know this from personal experience, but I've heard that mothers are just like that. It's how they show their love."

Jason nodded then stole the ball from Tim and let off a perfect shot. "Look at that. Nothing but net... So, tell me, Riggs, this is what happens when you run off to California? You get all deep and philosophical?"

"I didn't 'run off' to California," sighed Tim, shaking the hair off of his face. "And before you try to say different, I'm still the same Tim Riggins."

"Who's now in a motorcycle gang."

"Club, Six, please. Motorcycle club. And I'm only a prospect anyway." Tim picked the ball up from where it had rolled and handed it back to Jason.

"So, you going to join?"

"Dunno. We'll see how it goes."

A few quiet moments passed as the friends took turns taking shots, neither of them keeping score.

"So, you and Julie?" asked Jason as he took a shot.

"Just real good friends."

"Uh-huh," replied Jason, his tone suggesting that Tim probably had a bridge he wanted to sell him too.

"We are. Look, it didn't work out."

"What happened?"

Tim tucked the basketball under his arm and shifted his weight to one side. He looked down and was quiet for a moment. When he looked up, a rueful smile was on his lips. "She got pissed off with me because I was doing too much shit for the club. Finally all came to a head when I missed her big solo at her dance recital."

"And yet, somehow, she ends up with the VP of the club. That's mighty ironic," observed Jason.

"Yeah, sucks too," said Tim, turning away to take a shot. "But there's not much I can do about it."

"So, what? You're just giving up on her?"

"No, Jay, I'm gonna be her friend and be there for her. Maybe she comes back to me, maybe she doesn't, but I'm only going to push her away if I try to make her come back. All I can do is wait."

"Good luck with that, Timmy," said Jason, flashing his trademark crooked grin.

"Thanks, Six," replied Tim, sure he was going to need every bit of that luck and then some.

-/-

"Tim, we can't do this. I think it's illegal. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's illegal. Where'd you get roman candles anyway? We're going to start a damn brush fire." Julie griped.

"We gotta celebrate. "

"Why can't we just get drunk like we did when Stevie was born?" Tyra asked.

"Here, hold these, Jules, " he handed her the punks. "Because Tilly's a girl she needs something sparkly."

"This is by far one of the stupidest things we've ever done," Julie continued.

"I think you've lost the battle babe," Jax put in.

"These are my cliffs no one is ever out here it's fine."

Jax watched as the fire works illuminated Julie's upturned face. "Ok so its stupid but cool," Julie admitted.

-/-

On the drive home, Jax stretched out in backseat, his eyes closed, but not really asleep. Tim drove and Julie listened to the words of the "Glitter in the Air," which was playing on the radio.

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands? Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air? Have you ever looked fear in the face And said I just don't care It's only half past the point of no return The tip of the ice burg The sun before the burn The thunder before lightning The breath before the phrase Have you ever felt this way?

She could relate a little too closely. The tears came before she could stop them and her little hiccuping sob filled the silence.

"Jules, Baby," Tim whispered, digging a bandana out of his back pocket and handing it to her.

"How'd we get so lost Tim?" she asked, her voice wavering and barely above a whisper.

He held out his hand, which she took. "Maybe we're not, maybe this is just an in-between time, in-between who we were and who were supposed to be."

Jax listened carefully as Julie inhaled shakily.

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone? You're whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone Have you ever been touch so gently you had to cry?

"I love you… you know, that right? It was never about love with him, at least not at first," said Julie.

"I know… you know that whatever you choose, Jules, I'll still be your best friend."

"But he won't if I choose you."

"Then he doesn't love you the right way," said Tim. Jax heard the whispery noise of his lips meeting the soft skin of the back of her hand.

And with that Jax knew he either had to create a history all his own with Julie or let her go.


	34. Chapter 34

After driving straight through from Dillon to Charming, Jax was ready for a shower and about fourteen hours of sleep. They dropped Tim off at his apartment, Julie bristling slightly when she caught a glimpse of Emily Duncan waiting for him on the steps.

Jax didn't ask Julie where she wanted to go, just drove over to his place. Maybe it was selfish of him, but he wanted to sleep in his own bed tonight, with her wrapped around him. They pulled in the driveway and he watched her cast a look at her Chevy Aveo.

"Jax, I should probably go to my place," she said, starting to build a wall of words between them. "I have to work tomorrow afternoon and Sadie's been alone for a week so god only knows what the place looks like."

He picked up her hand and pressed a kiss into her palm, then laid her hand against his cheek. She looked up at him, biting her lip as her hair fell into her face.

"I want you to stay here tonight," he said.

"Oh. I'm kind of tired, you know."

"So am I, Jules. We just drove for nearly three straight days. I just want to sleep in my own bed, with my girlfriend next to me. Is that too much to ask for?"

She hesitated a second too long to answer his question and he had to suppress the sigh he felt rise in the back of his throat. She nodded hurriedly and got out of the SUV, going around to open the back but he called for her to leave the luggage until the morning.

Inside the house, they moved around uneasily, like there were land mines buried under the floorboards. Jax could feel the tension uncoiling between them, consuming every available ounce of oxygen in the room until he felt like he was smothering.

When they were finally in bed, Julie tucked up next to him, the thin separation between them despite their proximity, Jax cleared his throat and tried to find a way to broach the subject.

"Did you have a nice visit at home?" he asked, playing an easy open-ended question first.

"Yeah... did you? I know it was probably weird for you."

"A little, but you were there so that changes everything."

He expected a flirty smile and a teasing response, instead, he saw distance in her eyes and suspected that some part of her was back in the car with Tim, replaying the conversation they had. This time, he couldn't stop the sigh, a great shuddering breath that expressed all of his frustration at the situation.

"You want to talk about it, Pixie?" he asked, catching her hand in his and rubbing his thumb against her wrist.

She shook her head, her hair tickling his chest.

"Okay, well, you know you can. If you want to. About whatever," said Jax.

"I know, Jax. G'night."

"G'night," he replied, trying to ignore the sensation that she was slipping away from him.

-/-

Over the first few days after their return, it seemed to Jax that Julie was more herself, more fortified, after her visit home. He supposed he should be glad for it, and he was to some degree. But he felt like she needed him less, and he wasn't sure why he let it bother him.

She had to work earlier in the day, so he went to her apartment. Upon entering her place, he was knocked over by noise and the cloying scent of Sadie's pot. The Rolling Stones poured from the speakers and a bunch of people Jax didn't recognize sat around the coffee table. Julie sat on one end of the couch, Tim on the other end. She was writing something down and didn't see him come in.

"Hey Jax," Sadie called out.

"Oh, Hey Baby." Julie looked up. "We're playing The Things game. Wanna play? About half the group is higher than kites, whixh makes for an interesting game…"

Tim started laughing, which made Julie laugh.

"Julie are you high?" asked Jax

"And just a little bit drunk, but no worries. Tim said he'd make sure I stayed fully dressed and out of bed with inappropriate men."

Tim laughed at what was obviously an inside joke.

"She just needed to let loose dude." Tim said helpfully.

She didn't let loose with him. Jax tried not to be the overly possessive clingy boyfriend. It wasn't his style, but something about this whole scene set his teeth on edge. This wasn't Julie at least not the Julie he knew.

-/-

The next morning, Jax was up first. He was fixing breakfast when he saw some school brochures for the study abroad programs. Written in her girlish handwriting on a spiral notebook was Paris, England, Italy - Essays and recommendations. Further down, he saw a list of pros and cons. One of the pros was Finally get to see the world. The first con, underlined three times was Means leaving Jax.

He knew he should tell her to go. Julie Taylor was destined for bigger things than Charming and being his old lady. But he wasn't sure he could let her go no matter how good his intentions were.

She emerged from the bedroom looking very hung over.

"Morning Pixie."

She groaned at him. "I'm going to die," she groused.

"You're not going to die. Bite the dog that bit you baby," he said, setting a beer down on the brochure. She looked down at it.

"I'm not going." she told him. She sipped the beer with a grimace. "A professor was just giving me options."

Jax didn't want to think about why he felt relived.

"I'd kiss you but you know morning breath." Julie stated.

"Thanks for the consideration." Jax smirked.

-/-

Julie walked into the club and over to Jax. She kissed him. "Hi Babe," she said as she saw Tara staring her down beside Gemma.

"Hey Darlin, to what do I owe this surprise?"

"Well one of the bands Tim and I like are playing at Bubba's and I'm not working tonight so I came to see if you all maybe wanted to go."

"Well that's nice of you Miss Pixie." Gemma said, a slight edge to her words, and Julie shrugged.

"Country's not really my scene Jules. Besides I've got some stuff to do for the club tonight," said Jax.

"Okay…" Julie's disappointment was short-lived as she caught sight of Tim.

"Timmy! Cory Morrow is playing Bubba's wanna go with me?"

"That depends…"

"On what?"

"Will you dance with me?"

She bit her bottom lip raising her eyebrows at him. "Get me drunk enough I will…" She kissed Jax. "See you later on tonight?"

"You bet." then she kissed Tim's cheek.

"What was that for?" Tim asked.

Julie shrugged "Felt like it. See you at seven if you beat me to my place the keys in the same place."

"Okay," replied Tim with a grin. That whole exchange was just to weird for words in Jax's opinion.

"Love you Jax."

"Love you too Jules," he said as she walked out.

"Jax," said Gemma.

"Not now, Ma. I'm pretty sure I don't want to hear it," replied Jax, standing up and walking out before his day could get any more complicated. The last thing he needed was his mother, grilling him about his girlfriend, in front of her ex-boyfriend and his own ex-girlfriend. Days like this, he felt like his world was too goddamn small.

Later, when Jax slipped into the bar where the band was playing, the first thing he saw was Tim standing with his arms around Julie's shoulders as they sang along with some song that Jax didn't know. He knew what he felt then and it was jealousy.

He hated himself for it, because Julie wasn't doing anything but hanging out with a friend. He just had the feeling that what they had wasn't strong enough to stand the test of time. He knew what she had with Tim would last come hell or high water because Tim loved her enough to never give up while still somehow managing to be her friend and wait patiently while she dated someone else.

Jax thought Tim might be right. He might not love Julie the right way. He shoved the thought away and strode toward them, smiling. Julie smiled brightly at him glad he'd shown up. Tim looked momentarily crushed but covered it before Julie caught on but Jax still saw it for just a second.


	35. Chapter 35

Opie pulled into the Teller-Morrow lot and shut off his bike. No one knew he was home yet, but dollars to donuts said the old man and all the guys where in the club house. He walked in like he'd never been gone. Apparently it was someone's birthday, but he couldn't think of who it would be.

Bobby saw him first. "Ope! Hey man." Bobby stepped forward, hugging him. He caught sight of Jax with a pretty little blonde sitting in his lap, who he assumed was Julie. He walked toward them, wondering if Jax realized how young Julie looked in comparison to him.

Opie laughed as Jax saw him and nearly dumped the girl out of his lap to stand and greet him.

"Hey man!" Jax hugged him tighter than Ellie had hugged him an hour earlier. "How ya been?"

"Hanging in, Who's the party for?"

"It's the prospects birthday." Julie fiddled with her skirt nervously, wanting to make a good impression if Jax ever got around to introducing her.

"Gonna introduce me to your lap ornament or what?"

"Oh yeah, Jules this is Opie…Opie this is my girlfriend Julie."

Julie reached out and shook his hand "I've heard a lot about you…its nice to finally meet you. So, this is your version of Tyra, huh, Jax?"

Jax laughed "Pretty much…"

"Heard a lot about you too," said Opie, wondering what the hell 'your version of Tyra' meant.

They all got re-situated and Jax and Opie began catching up. Julie nibbled on a piece of cake, interjecting comments or questions into the conversation every now and then. Opie notice Jax was using a copy of the The Tropic of Cancer as a coaster for his beer.

Opie smirked. "I know you aren't reading that book, man."

"No it's mine, I get kinda bored at these thing so I read... that, and hustle at pool." Julie answered with a smile.

Opie returned the smile uneasily. Jax had always gone in for the smart chicks, but reading in the clubhouse seemed bizarre and anti-social. Like the girl should just wear a sign, saying that she thought she was better than everyone else.

"Oooh, Emily Duncan finally detached herself from Tim. I'm gonna go give him his present," said Julie. She kissed Jax, leaned over the bar to retrive the gift and then she was off.

"So, they're still friends. That bother you?" Opie asked taking a swing of the beer that a sweet butt brought him.

"I'm still not quiet sure either way." Jax answered with a shrug.

-/-

Julie walked over. She pinched tim's butt and he jumped. She snickered. He turned around, his face breaking into a slow, easy grin when he recognized her.

"Hey birthday boy I come bearing gifts."

"And here I was hoping for a spanking…"

"Somehow I think someone probably beat me too it."

"A man can never be spanked too much by pretty women."

Julie laughed. "Open your gift you pervy old man."

"I may be a pervert but I am not old." He tore into the gift bag with the glee of a little boy. He pulled out a wall hanging sign that spelled out "Howdy" in horse shoes.

"Jules, how'd you find this its great…"

"I made it in my art classes. Dad got the horse shoes for me from the Cafferty ranch…He says happy birthday. There's something else in there."

Tim pulled out a copy of The Pearl by john Steinbeck.

"Since you liked Of Mice and Men you'll like this and it's short…don't worry I wont tell anyone you might actually like to read." she hugged him. "Happy birthday Tim I hope it was a good one."

They held onto each other a few seconds longer than strictly necessary. "It was a nice one." His reply fell into her hair.

"Well I better get back to Jax before Emily starts circling him as well."

Tim laughed. "Alright then."

-/-

Julie returned to Jax's lap. "Did you pinch Abercrombie's ass or was it my imagination?" Jax asked.

"Only did it to piss off Duncan." she smirked evilly. "Want a bite of cake? The icing is great, the whipped cream kind." She waved a fork full of cake in front of Jax's mouth.

It wasn't that Opie didn't like Julie it was just that he didn't like her for Jax. She was smart, sweet, still hung upon on the prospect, and all wrong for the club and his best friend. He had to talk to Jax and soon.

-/-

A few days later, Jax and Opie were working on a motorcycle in the Teller-Morrow garage. It was late evening and everyone else had gone home for the night.

"So, where's Julie?" asked Opie, trying for a casual tone.

Jax tucked a loose lock of hair behind his ear and tightened a screw. "She's working tonight at this country bar in the boonies. Man, I went there once, Ope, nearly started a fight. She was not pleased."

Jax's nostalgic smile made Opie bristle. He'd been gone too damn long, had missed too damn much, and now, he was afraid that his best friend was too far gone over this girl.

"Where's this going, Jax?" asked Opie, not bothering to disguise the edge and challenge in his voice.

Jax set down his screwdriver and looked at his friend, his forehead wrinkled in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"This girl-"

"She has a name, Ope," said Jax, also not bothering to disguise his edge.

Opie stepped away from the bike and leaned against the wall of the garage, folding his arms. "Fine. Julie... I'm just going to say it - she ain't right for you Jax, ain't even close."

Jax shook his head. "You barely know her, man."

"I been home four days, Jax, and I've definitely seen enough to know that she's not for you. She's too young. Too idealistic. Too artsy and starry-eyed. Place like Charming is never going to be enough for a girl like that."

"You don't know Julie."

"No, but I know her type. And what makes it even worse is that she's still hung up on another dude, a fucking prospect, for god's sake."

"You're talking out of your ass and trying to start a fight, which really, I don't get. I know you're angry about a whole world of shit, but just leave Julie out of this."

"Nu-huh, Jax, this isn't about me at all. It's about you making stupid decisions with your dick that are going to fuck things up for the club."

Jax felt the anger boiling inside of him and wanted to go over and push Opie. He wanted to knock the smug smirk right off his face and keep right on punching until his friend took back everything he'd just said. But he couldn't move.

He was rooted to the spot by virtue of the fact that he knew every word that Opie'd just said was the god's honest truth. The completely ugly and unvarnished truth that he'd been trying to ignore.

"You done? You got anything else to say?" asked Jax finally.

Opie held up his hands and shook his head. "Nah, man, I'm done."

"Good, I'm going home. You're going to be all right here to finish up by yourself?"

"Yeah, Jax, I'm fine."

Jax turned and left, needing a good long bike ride to clear his head.

-/-

Julie didn't quite understand what was happening with her and Jax. Things had been fine after they got back from Texas. Well, not fine, but okay. Better than okay, but slightly less than fine, she guessed, was the best way to describe it. But at least they'd been talking and spending time together.

Then Opie had come back and suddenly, it was like Jax lived on another planet. He didn't return her phone calls. He ignored her texts. He was too tired for her to sleep over. He couldn't spend the night at her place because of mysterious and unspecified club business.

Something was going on and Julie could feel him slipping through her fingers. She knew she had to do something, but didn't know what to do. She pointed her car in the direction of Charming and hoped that before she got there, she'd have an idea.


	36. Chapter 36

The closer Julie got to the clubhouse. the more angry she became. After everything they'd been through together, after every hurdle and hoop they'd jumped to be together, Julie thought at the very least Jax could return her text messages. She deserved that much and she deserved an explanation and she was going to get one. Even if it caused a scene.

She slammed the car the car into park and slammed the car door just because she felt like it as she got out.

"Fuck it I hope I cause a scene cocky bastard deserves it…" she said to herself. Julie swept in to the club.

"Pixie's hot and I aint talking about her bod." Juice called out. Jax, Opie and Tim all turned and Clay and Gemma emerged from the back as Chibs strolled in from the shop.

"Shit I know that look and I'm hidin' because for once I didn't do it." Tim said.

"Julie Honey," Jax tried treading carefully.

"I just wanna know one thing then I'll leave, which should be a relief to you seeing as how you've ignored me for the past two weeks."

"Jules I-"

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No I've just-"

"So you're friend being back and the fact that he doesn't like me makes you a whole new form of asshole is that it?"

"It's not that I don't like you, kid. You just remind me of someone," said Opie,

She laughed. "I've dealt with Gemma you don't scare me dude."

Gemma smiled. "I like royally pissed Pixie."

"Remember something for me Jax before you make whatever decision you're trying to make by avoiding me. 'Equal traitors be she and his sense.'

"You don't want me then at least be man enough to decide for yourself." She turned and left, leaving him choking on her dust.

Tim whistled lowly. "That's as pissed as I've seen her since Seven left without telling her goodbye."

-/-

Julie sat on the couch waiting for Jax to come in. When he came in, he saw her and exhaled carefully. "Nice show you put on."

"At least I caught your attention."

"What do you want from me, Pixie?"

"Just an answer. What is your problem Jax? you've barely spoken to me or touched me since your friend came back. What did I do?"

"Nothing."

"That's obviously a lie Jackson, just tell me what's wrong so we can fix it."

"Fix it? Do you really want to fix things? Be honest, Julie."

"Yes, I do what is wrong with you?"

"If it's not about love with me then what the fuck are we doing this for Julie?"

"Ok, first of all you shouldn't listen on people's conversations it's really goddamned rude and second I said it didn't start out that way. I never said that it was still that way!"

"And you still love him Julie!"

"Not all love has to be just one thing Jax. We're friends and I love him in the same you'll always love Tara its complicated and I can't cut him out of my life because you are jealous or whatever this is!"

"He follows you around like a fucking puppy!"

"He doesn't follow me around Jax we finally got to be friends again that's all and we like spending time together jealousy doesn't become you Jax."

"I feel like I'm swimming against the current here Jules, it seems like every little step we make we get knocked back four… you're young Julie really young and I didn't think it mattered until you took me home and it does matter. You have your whole life in front of you and I'm not sure you're meant to stay here…I'm not sure we belong together…I love you and it's because of that I don't ever want to hold you back-"

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"I…I don't know Pixie. I know I definitely don't want to but I think we both need some space to figure this out…Damn it Julie don't cry."

"What did you expect me to do?" she yelled getting up "Don't leave don't be like this baby."

"You want space Jackson you got it." she slammed the door behind her.

She came back and began stuffing her things haphazardly into a huge laundry bag.

"Baby I-" Jax stammered for something to say.

"You know what really kills me Jax?" she wiped her runny nose inelegantly on her sleeve.

"What?" he whispered.

"They were right. We're all wrong for each other we couldn't do it last. "

"We could of you wouldn't have been happy in the long run."

"So, we just wasted our time?"

"No Julie, never that… come here." he gathered her to him and kissed her.

"So, it didn't work…but no one will ever be able to make me regret what we had." she nodded "Me either…"

After Jax watched her pull away. He found her red and white striped sweater thrown behind the love seat. He picked it up folding it carefully he knew he'd keep it. He hoped he'd made the right descion breaking it off with Julie.

-/-

Back in her empty apartment, Julie found herself strangely unable to cry. She felt disconnected, adrift. She flopped on the couch and turned on the television, hoping for some mindless distraction from her troubles. Flipping through the channels, the only thing worth watching was a travel program on Europe.

Julie watched as an annoying man who looked eerily like John Denver strolled through a street market in Paris. She thought of all the summer programs she didn't apply for, all of the opportunities she'd thrown away because she just couldn't stand to be away from Jax for an entire summer.

She rolled her eyes and allowed herself a bitter chuckle. Pretty stupid, giving all that up for a guy who dumped me the second things got even a little bit rough.

Julie closed her eyes and let her thoughts drift. Classes were over now and all she had in her life was working a few crappy jobs that she hated. The only thing those jobs had done were let her save loads of cash, since her scholarship covered nearly all of her school-related costs.

Her passport was sitting in her top dresser drawer, completely untouched since she'd applied for it in high school. There really was nothing stopping her from just buying a plane ticket and going anywhere. She could disappear for the whole summer. Spend the time trying to clear her head and find herself.

She could finally see all the places she'd only ever dreamed about. Paris. Prague. Moscow. Berlin. London. Stockholm. Venice. Julie picked up her laptop and started looking for cheap flights to anywhere in Europe


	37. Chapter 37

Tim turned the gun over in his hand, feeling the weight of it. He'd handled plenty of rifles, gone on what seemed like hundreds of hunting trips, but he didn't think he'd ever feel comfortable with a handgun. It seemed designed for only one purpose: to hurt people?

"You ready, Prospect?" asked Tig as he appeared from nowhere, causing Tim to jump.

"Yeah, I'm ready," replied Tim. He didn't really understand why they were doing this, sneaking into a warehouse late at night to threaten a bunch of Mayans, but he knew better than to ask questions.

"Then let's go." Opie pulled down his ski mask and stepped through the open door, motioning for Tim to go left. It was just the three of them and Tim sort of wished that Jax was there, since he was the only one that Tim actually trusted.

Which was kind of ironic, if you thought about it, since Jax had stolen Julie. Tim shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts and get his focus back in the game. Except that was a poor choice of words and he knew it. This wasn't a game.

He crept silently through the warehouse, gun held out in front of him like he'd seen cops do in the movies. Through the shelves, he could see Opie and Tig making parallel progress up toward the lit front of the warehouse. From the sounds of things, there was a heated poker game going on up there.

Tim slowed down and let Tig announce their presence, then eased to around the corner of the aisle, just barely letting himself be seen.

"Boys, we know you took something of ours and we want it back. Give it over, and no one gets hurt," said Tig.

The biggest guy at the table stood up. "Bullshit. Get the fuck out of here."

"I'm not playing," said Tig, the tone of his voice sending a shiver up Tim's spine.

"I'm not neither," replied the Mayan, his hand edging toward a gun on the table. Tig shot him in the leg, the man doubling over in pain as his buddies jumped to their feet. Opie rushed in and tossed the gun off the table, pressing his own gun into the temple of a nervous looking guy who couldn't be more than 20.

"Abecrombie, a little help here," called Tig.

Tim found it very difficult to make his feet co-operate, but he managed to walk over to the table, hoping that the shaking in his hands wasn't too obvious. When he got close, Tig grabbed his gun and forced Tim to press it into the stomach of the nearest guy. Tim elbowed Tig, wishing that he would back off, but the psycho just threw an arm around him and laughed.

"Someone tells us where our stuff is in the next 15 seconds or the kid here's going to shoot someone," announced Tig.

Tim looked at him, trying to put fury into his eyes, knowing that's all Tig could see under the ski mask.

"What? I am right, aren't I? You've never shot no one before. Nevermind that, first one's the hardest. Where was I?"

"Fifteen seconds," reminded Opie.

"Oh, right. Fifteen seconds. One...two...three...four...five...six...seven...eight... Really? No one cares about this kid? Nine...ten... You know a gut shot's really going to hurt. Eleven...twelve...thirteen...fourteen. Last chance... Fifteen. Damn, go ahead then."

Tim knew that there was no way he was pulling the trigger. The guy looked up at him, pleading, his words coming out in a whispered stream of Spanish. Even though Tim had enough trouble with English, he knew the guy was praying, pleading for his life.

"Do it!" commanded Tig.

Tim held steady, his nerves becoming more calm even as the situation got more tense.

"Man, you just can't get good help these days," remarked Opie. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a second gun and jammed into the guy's neck. Tim could feel him start to shake.

"Over there, man, in the bottom desk drawer," said the guy, crumpling at the knees. Tim grabbed his shoulder and helped ease him back into a chair. He took a step back, keeping his gun pointed in the direction of the table.

Tig walked over to the desk, opened the bottom drawer and pulled out a skinny blue duffel bag. He unzipped it, looked inside, and then nodded in satisfaction.

"Thank you for your co-operation," said Tig, his mouth curling into a mocking smile. "We'll be on our way now. You fellas enjoy the rest of your evening."

Tim took his cues from Opie and began to back away from the table, keeping his gun up and his hands steady. After they'd backed halfway out of the warehouse, they turned and ran to their bikes, then headed back to the clubhouse.

The cool night air felt good onTim's face and he wished that it could wash away everything from the warehouse. He felt horrible, shaky and off-balance, and all he really wanted to do was go home and call Julie.

But he knew he had to go back with the guys, knew that he had to spend some time hanging out with them, knew that he was going to get a lot of shit for not being able to pull the trigger.

So, when Tig slapped him on the back and said "Better luck next time" and Opie chuckled in such a way that let Tim knew that they'd been playing him, that they'd set him up and had known all along he wasn't ready to shoot anybody, he felt a tiny bit of relief. And when Emily Duncan handed him a beer and half a bottle of Jack, he could see an alternative to calling Julie.

He could get drunk and screw around, the way he always did when he wanted to forget. It had always worked in the past. And for a few hours, it seemed to be working. But Tim found that he couldn't get the feel of the gun out of his hand, or the wispy sound of Spanish out of his head. He definitely didn't like what had just happened and, if he was honest with himself, didn't like where he was headed. But he knew he wasn't quite ready to be 100% honest with himself yet.


	38. Chapter 38

Jax was sitting on the couch, drinking beer and watching a baseball game when the doorbell rang. He frowned, concerned because he wasn't expecting anyone. He approached the front window at an angle, then carefully pulled back the heavy curtain. He could see a familiar car sitting in the driveway: Julie's tiny clown car with Sadie sitting in the driver's seat and luggage piled up in the backseat.

Jax walked over to the door and pulled it open to find Julie standing with her arms crossed and a sour look on her face, her sunglasses pushed up on top of her head.

"Hi Pixie, this is a pleasant surprise," he said, genuine warmth in his voice. It had been 9 days since they broke up and he had to admit to himself that it was like a physical ache, missing her.

"Jax," she said, her voice wavering. He could see that she was trying mightily not to be affected by him.

"You want to come in?"

"No, I just need my sweater."

"Your sweater?" asked Jax, playing dumb.

"Yeah, my red-and-white striped one. It's my favorite and I must've left it here because it's not at my place."

"Nah, I haven't seen it," lied Jax, leaning casually against the door frame. He wanted to reach out and touch her cheek, so he pushed his hands into his pocket.

"You're sure?" Julie asked doubtfully.

Jax nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure. You're welcome to look for it though."

Julie cast a long look back at Sadie and then glanced at her watch. "I can't, I've got a flight to catch."

"A flight? You going to visit your family or something?"

"No. I'm going to Europe for the summer."

"Oh, one of those summer programs?"

"No," said Julie, her scowl nearly causing Jax to take a step back. "I didn't apply to any of those programs because I didn't want to leave my boyfriend. Which, you know, is kind of funny because he just ended up breaking up with me the second things started to look complicated."

"Julie," sighed Jax, wishing that this whole thing could be easier.

"It's fine, Jax. I'm fine. You might come to your senses one day and realize what a huge jackass you were and regret it, but right now, it looks like we're both just fine."

Julie spun on her heel to stalk back to the car, but Jax caught her arm, pulling her back to him. He brushed her hair back off her face, letting his thumb caress her cheek before resting his hand on her shoulder.

"You're right, Pixie, I probably am going to regret this one day. But I can promise you one thing: you never will. Whatever happens next for you is going to be so much better than what you'd have here. This isn't your place."

Julie looked at him, blinking back tears. She stepped back, his hand falling off her shoulder.

"Take care of yourself, Jax," she said, looking at him like she might never see him again.

"You too, Pixie. You too."

He stuffed his hands back in his pockets and leaned against the doorframe, watching her walk back to the car. She refused to make eye contact with him, refused to even look in his general direction, even while Sadie waved cheerily as she pulled out of the driveway. Jax watched her leave, realizing that the day of regret had arrived much sooner than either of them had expected.

-/-

A week later, Tim approached him as he was parking his bike on the T-M lot. It was earlier and the prospect was looking like he hadn't been sleeping very well.

"What's up? You need something?" Jax asked as he pulled off his helmet and rested it on his bike.

Tim folded his arms, looking a little uncomfortable. "I feel weird asking you, but I've been calling Julie for days and she hasn't been answering. Hasn't been responding to texts either. That's not really like her and I'm getting worried."

Jax nodded and looked down, trying to figure out what it meant that Julie didn't tell Tim where she was going.

"Sorry, man, like I said, I felt weird asking but I figured you might be able to save me a trip to Lodi. And dealing with Sadie. That girl is nuts."

Jax chuckled. "Yeah, she is. Look, man, I don't know how to tell you this, but Julie's gone."

"Gone?" asked Tim. "Like gone back to Texas."

"No, like gone to have adventures in Europe. She left about a week ago."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. I only know because she stopped by my place on her way to the airport. She couldn't find one of her sweaters or some shit like that."

"Oh... well, thanks," said Tim before he turned and headed back into the garage.

"No problem," mumbled Jax to himself, stepping off his bike. He felt... he paused for a second and looked around the T-M lot. He felt empty and strange. A tiny part of him felt like he should maybe hop on a plane and look for Julie. But the rest of him, the much larger part of him, felt like he belonged here and reminded himself that he'd made the right decision. He shrugged and shook his head, then walked into the garage.

-/-

Tim popped open another beer and leaned back on the couch. His apartment was, for once, quiet and empty, since Emily Duncan had finally left, a little huffy when he told her he wasn't interested in anything except drinking beer and watching television.

In fact, he lied. He wasn't interested in anything except drinking beer and thinking of Julie. He was proud of her, venturing off alone to pursue her dreams. He didn't know the specifics of her break-up with Jax, and he didn't care.

Tim understood the impulse to just blow town without telling anyone, so he wasn't too hurt that she hadn't called him. He knew, though, that she had to have told her parents. He picked up his phone and turned it over in his hands a few times. Finally, he flipped it open, scrolled through his address book, and made the call before he could talk himself out of it.

The phone rang three times before Mrs. Taylor answered, her honey-sweet, warm voice making Tim smile.

"Hi, Mrs. Taylor. It's Tim Riggins," he said, sitting up straight even though she couldn't see him.

"Hi Tim. I'm sorry, but Coach isn't home. He's at some recruiting meeting or something with Buddy Garrity and Big Merri."

"Oh, that's okay, Mrs. Taylor. It's actually you that I was hoping to talk to."

"Is that so?" she asked, her voice laced with concern. Tim could picture the face she was making, her forehead wrinkled and mouth slightly open, as if she was trying to figure out the exact right words to say. It made him inexplicably and unspeakably homesick.

"Yeah, it's about Jules. I was wondering if you knew where she was or how I could get in touch with her."

"Oh Jules," sighed Mrs. Taylor. "I tell you what, she near about shocked us when she just said she was up and going to Europe for the summer."

"Yeah, I can imagine."

"She sends us email every day, letting us know where she's going to be and how she's doing. Hold on a sec and let me find the most recent print out."

Tim waited, his fingers pulling at hole in his jeans, worrying at the threads. It seemed like an interminable wait but soon he'd at least have an idea of where Julie was.

"OK, Tim. She's in Paris this week, then she's going to go to Amsterdam, then to Berlin."

"Do you have like exact dates or places where she's staying?"

"Tim, hun, are you thinking of trying to find her? Because Europe's a big place."

"Yeah... well, sorta. I'd really like to talk to her."

"Yeah, I get that. I'll tell you what, you get email?"

"Yes ma'am, on my phone."

"OK, you give me your address and I'll forward you whatever details I have, as I get them. But I can't make you any promises."

"I understand. Thanks, Mrs. Taylor." Tim gave her his email address and thanked her again before hanging up the phone. Now, he just had a few more calls and plans to make. At least he felt like he was doing something for a change.


	39. Chapter 39

"Lando," said Tim when his friend answered the phone.

"Tim, what's up?" said Landry, a little puzzled about why Tim Riggins would be calling him.

"How are things?" asked Tim, not wanting to rush right into asking Landry for something.

"Fine. Except, you know, Tyra broke up with me again and the girl I like likes someone else, but otherwise, things are just dandy."

"You're back from MIT for break, right?"

"I am."

"Good, nice."

"I hear you joined some kind of motorcycle gang."

"Yeah, well, don't believe everything you here," said Tim, suddenly annoyed. "Hey, look, Landry, I need a favor. I need you to book some airplane tickets for me. I've got cash, but no credit card. You buy the tickets for me, I'll wire you the cash right away. I swear."

"I don't know about this," said Landry, hesitant.

"Please, Landry? This is really important to me and you're the only one who can help me."

"Well..." said Landry, his voice wavering as he considered his options.

"C'mon, Lando," said Tim, aware that he was probably pressing his luck but he was getting impatient and just wanted to get things done.

"What do you need?"

"I need a one-way ticket from either San Francisco or San Jose to Paris, before the end of this week."

"For you? You're going to Paris?"

"Yeah, Landry, I'm going to Paris. What's the big deal?"

"No big deal, it's just a surprise, is all. You don't really strike me as the Paris type."

"Landry," said Tim, his exasperated voice a clear warning.

"Okay, okay. Just cool your jets a minute," said Landry. Then Tim only heard the tapping of his fingers on the keys. "Okay, I got a one-way flight leaving Sonoma County Airport on Thursday, 6.30 am, arriving Los Angeles at 8am, then departing LA at 12.30pm, arriving at 8 am the next morning at Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris.

"Great, I'll take it."

"Tim, it's $1500."

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll wire the money to the Western Union in the Qwik-Stop," said Tim, ready to hang up and get moving with his plan.

"Hold your horses, there, Riggins. I need some information from you. Like your passport number. You do have a passport, don't you?"

"Yes, Landry. I have a passport. Hang on a minute," replied Tim a little testily. He knew he was just lucky that he had a passport at all and had Lyla to thank for that. She'd wanted to take a trip to Paris on Spring Break of her first year at Vanderbilt and had begged him to go with her. He'd balked, but gone as far as getting a passport but then she broke up with him a few months before the trip.

Tim fished the passport out of his sock drawer and smiled grimly. He truly hoped that he had better luck with Paris this time around.

-/-

Tim found the nearest Western Union counter and wired the money out to Landry. He knew he had one more thing to do before he'd be able to relax and believe the trip was really going to happen. He had to deal with his job. And the club. Not necessarily in that order.

Tim got on his bike and rode over Teller-Morrow, debating whether he should deal with the job or the club first. It looked like most of the guys were out doing god-knows-what, so that made his decision a little bit more simple. He flicked down the kickstand on his bike, pulled off his helmet, and left it dangling from the handle bars.

He headed over to the office and pushed the heavy door open, not sure who was in the office. He wasn't even sure who would be harder to deal with. Clay? Gemma? Jax? They were each scary and difficult in different ways.

"Strange seeing you on your day off, Abecrombie," came Gemma's raspy voice. Tim met her eyes and tried not to blush. He didn't know how she managed to make everything she said and did seem so damn sexy. She was a grandmother, for Pete's sake.

Flustered, Tim pushed his hair off his face and then stuffed his hands in his pocket. "About the job... I'm, um, going to need some time off."

Gemma raised an eyebrow and cocked her head to the side. "How much time we talking about here?"

"Well, you see, ma'am, that's kind of the problem. I'm not really sure."

Gemma took a long drag of her cigarette and then dropped in the ashtray. She let her smoky breath out slowly as she leaned back in the desk chair, her eyes still glued to Tim. He could feel her stare, but found himself unable to meet it.

"Abecrombie, something going on here?"

"I need to go... somewhere."

"Somewhere?"

Tim could hear the disbelief and mistrust in her voice and realized that he was being stupid. A woman like Gemma could hear something like that and was liable to think he was handing himself over to the ATF or something.

"I don't want to catch a lot of shit from the guys, ma'am, but, well, I just bought a ticket to go to Paris," he said, pulling a printout from his back pocket. He unfolded the already grubby piece of paper slowly and handed it over to Gemma.

She gave it a cursory glance and then grinned at him. "So you're running after Miss Pixie, huh?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Well, better you than Jax. Hope that works out for you, son."

Tim smiled, surprised by the hint of warmth in Gemma's voice and eyes. "Thank you."

"I think Jax is in the clubhouse, if you want to give him your notice too, or whatever," she said, leaving the rest of the sentence hanging in the air.

Tim nodded and left, stepping out into the bright sunlight. Times like this, he wished he smoked so he could have a cigarette or two to ease his nerves and kill sometime before he talked to Jax.


	40. Chapter 40

The time to talk to Jax came much more quickly than Tim had hoped. Before he'd even made it across the T-M lot, the door of the clubhouse swung open. Jax stepped out, blinking in the blinding sunlight, and lit a cigarette. Giving no indication that he'd seen Tim, he sat down on the top of one of the picnic tables and rested his face on his hands.

"Rough day?" asked Tim, easing down to sit on the bench of a nearby table.

Jax looked up, surprised, but visibly relaxed when he saw Tim. "Something like that."

"I don't know if I'm going to make your day better or worse, but..." Tim took a deep breath, stealing a glance over at Jax, nearly wishing he'd just finish the sentence for him and put him out of his misery.

"Out with it, Abecrombie. I ain't a mind reader."

"It's two things, I guess. One is that I'm going to need some time off work, maybe a two or three weeks. Maybe longer, don't know for certain," Tim paused to give Jax a chance to ask questions.

Jax took a drag off his cigarette and let out the smoke slowly, his eyes nearly drilling holes through Tim. "And the other thing?"

"Yeah, the other thing," muttered Tim, wishing he had Julie's gift for saying difficult things. He stood up and pulled off his prospect's cut, handing it over to Jax without making eye contact.

Jax looked at Tim for several beats, then slowly shook his head and took the cut. He laid it down gently on the table and then looked a question at Tim.

"It's just not me, man. I don't think I can do it. I hope, when I come back, that I'll still be able to work at the garage. But I understand if y'all don't want to see me again."

"Probably not going to be my decision. But you're a decent mechanic and way more reliable than Lowell. Tell you what, come back when you're ready and we'll see where we're at. No promises."

Tim nodded, relieved. He put out his hand and Jax shook it without hesitation. Tim found he had nothing else to say and rather than just stand there dumbly, he turned to leave. He was about ten paces away when Jax called out to him.

"Hey...Riggins."

He turned slowly, surprised to hear Jax use his name. "Yeah?"

"Don't take no for an answer. She's stubborn, but believe me, you don't want to regret not fighting for her when you had the chance."

Tim nodded. "Yeah, man, thanks. Ain't going to make that mistake again."

-/-

When his flight landed at Charles de Gaulle airport, Tim was a dizzying mixture of exhausted, tired, nervous, and happy. The happiness was mostly due to the fact that the plane ride was over and, one way or another, this thing with Julie was going to be resolved by the end of the day.

He hadn't bothered to check any luggage, traveling only with his old Dillon Panthers duffel bag. He stopped in a restroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. He blinked at the bleary reflection in the mirror, Billy's words echoing through his head. Run a comb through your hair for once in your life.

Tim rifled through the bag, but discovered he'd forgotten his hairbrush. He sighed and made do with raking his hands through his hair. It didn't look too horrible. And he didn't think he smelled too badly. Although 14-hours on an airplane had left him a little worse for wear. He just hoped Julie took mercy on him.

Tim left the restroom and fought his way through the crowded, confusing airport. He was sure the airport must have been kick-ass when it first opened, but now it was just dated and depressing. A 1960s architect's idea of the future that now looked as cheesy and stupid as that 2001 movie that Landry made him and Saracen sit through once.

Outside, the air was muggy and hot, reminding him of home. He thought about the guidebook he'd flipped through on the plane and wondered how the hell he was going to get himself into the middle of Paris. He knew he had options - bus, train, taxi - but the language barrier loomed large between him and his destination.

He had another problem too. He had no idea exactly where Julie was going to be. She'd just arrived in Paris the night before and Mrs. Coach had told him where she was staying, a trendy hostel on the Left Bank of the Seine. But he'd looked at their web site at a coin-operated computer in the airport and it looked like they kicked everyone out in the morning and didn't let people back in until the late afternoon.

Tim had spent a good part of the flight trying to figure out how he was going to find Julie in the middle of a huge foreign city, no cell phone, no itinerary, no nothing. Then he'd flipped through the guidebook, trying to guess where she'd go on her first morning in Paris. In a wacky romantic-comedy sort of way, this made sense. He'd only find the girl if he truly knew the girl and was fated to be with her. Julie would love the idea. He only hoped he could find her to be able to tell her all about it.

Tim shook his head and reminded himself that he had to focus. He ran through his options and decided to go with the easiest, even though it was the most expense. He ambled over to the line for the taxis and waited impatiently for his turn. He could feel his palms starting to sweat and he wiped his hands on his jeans.

After what felt like an interminable length of time, he was at the front of the line and was soon climbing into the back seat of a cab. He flipped open the last page of the guide book and fumbled his way through the handy French phrase cheat-sheet.

"Par-lay vooz ang-lay?"

The taxi driver looked into the rearview mirror and sighed, rolling his eyes. "A little."

"Mus-ee duh-or-say. Please," said Tim, hoping he wasn't butchering the name too badly. Musee d'Orsay.

The guy said something back to him that made no sense at all, but Tim just nodded and closed his eyes. He told himself he should stay awake, make sure the guy didn't try to rip him off, but he just couldn't help it. He was exhausted.

When Tim woke up, the cab had just pulled up in front of a huge building that looked a little like a train station. He was about to complain that he wanted to go to a museum, not a train station, when he saw the sign. He was in the right place.

Tim fumbled with the strangely colored Euro notes and handed over what he hoped was enough to cover the outrageous fare. The driver muttered something that he couldn't decipher and then Tim stepped out into the warm day.

He took a deep breath and practically sleep walked up the stairs. He managed to get through the hassle of buying a ticket and then checking his duffel back at the coat check. It was strange, to have people talk to him and have no idea what they were saying. He didn't like the feeling at all.

Tim pushed those concerns out of his head and focused on finding Julie. It was ridiculous, he knew, since there was no guarantee that she was actually in the building and it was a much bigger place than he'd expected. But he looked through the map that a security guard had given him and was struck by the tiny thumbnail of a painting.

He recognized it from a poster in Julie's room. A bunch of ballerinas in blue skirts, preparing to go onstage. Or at least that's what he thought they were doing. Julie had once given him a big long explanation, but he'd zoned out, focusing instead on her mouth and his own dirty thoughts.

Tim smiled and followed the map to the room where the painting was. He was on his way there, walking through a small room when he spotted a familiar swing of long blonde hair. He stopped and looked carefully, but the way she was standing, head cocked to the side and swaying ever so slightly, as if dancing to music that only she could hear. There was no doubt in his mind. It had to be Julie.

Tim took a deep breath and walked over, pausing a few steps behind Julie. His eyes swept over the painting, a slightly wonky looking church under a darkening sky. Tim crept closer to the woman, stopping only when he was practically brushing against her.

I really hope this is Jules...no regrets.

"What do you think, Jules? Were the builders drunk when they built the church or was the artist drunk when he painted it?" Tim asked, his voice a throaty whisper, his lips nearly brushing her ear.


	41. Chapter 41

hey were walking along one of Amsterdam's many canals, still a little high on legal pot, when Tim dropped his bombshell.

"I'm going to go back to Dillon, Julie, and I want you to come with me," he said casually.

Julie stopped walking and Tim didn't know if that was a good or bad reaction. He was out in front of her by a step and a half, his hand still in hers. He wasn't sure that he wanted to see her face, but he turned slowly anyway.

"All I ever wanted was to leave Dillon, get out and see the world," she said, her face pinched and on the edge of upset.

"I know that, Jules, and you are, you have. And you can always leave again."

"But...I like California. I like living with Sadie. I like my school, my little life, my jobs. I've made a place for myself there."

Tim dropped her hand and stepped off the path. He walked over to the rail of the canal and put a foot on the bottom rail. He propped his elbows on the top rail and watched the ducks and swans glide across the water.

"Okay," he finally said.

"Okay," repeated Julie uncertainly. "Okay what? Okay you'll stay in California with me?"

Tim shook his head. "Okay, I'll go to Texas and you'll stay in California."

"But what about us, Tim?" asked Julie, biting her lip.

"What about us, Julie?" repeated Tim with a slow-burning smile. "We're meant to be, and several hundred miles ain't going to change that."

"You wouldn't care that I'd be back in Lodi, probably around Jax occasionally, since I'm still friends with Lyla?"

"I'd care, but I'd still trust you."

Julie absorbed the words and settled onto the canal railing next to Tim. She tried to picture what her life would be like. No Tim, running into Jax all the time... it would be so easy to break, to fall back into confusion. And she was finding out that she liked certainty.

She loved Tim, the way he was all solid muscles and smooth angles. She always understood where he was coming from and what he wanted. He was black or white, a real relief after months of dealing with Jackson's endless shades of grey.

And she knew that she could have a real life with Tim. A life that involved settling down, living normally, and, eventually, kids. She knew that a life of gun-running, holding her breath when the phone rang late at night, fearing for her life and his, well, that wasn't something she wanted to live for real.

"You're awfully quiet in there, Jules," observed Tim.

She smiled up at him. "Tell you what, let me think about it. Think about where I'd go in Texas and what I'd do. Going back to Dillon might be too soon for me, but maybe Austin and UT would be a good intermediate step."

"Take all the time you need, Jules," said Tim, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

-/-

Several weeks later...

Chibs walked into the office. "Gemma, Abercrombie just called me and needs help loading Julie's couch into his truck. So I'm gonna go help him. They're about to head out."

"I'll go with you. I'd like to say 'bye' to Pixie."

"I'm in too. I'm sure Lyla's a mess." Opie said.

Jax went simply because he had to watch her leave.

-/-

"Julie you have too much crap!" Tim called from her landing as she set boxes in her floorboard. She was pulling a U-haul trailer because Tim was carrying his bike and her couch in his truck bed. Julie knew it would be slow going.

"Half that crap is yours from when you practically lived with me."she called back.

Lyla passed by him, picking up a picture from the box. "What's this?"

It was a picture of Tim dressed, as a cheerleader for the Westerby pep rally.

"Timmy, you make an intresting looking woman!" Lyla cackled, laughing.

"Jules! Where the hell did you get that give it here, Lyla!"

"No!" she ran away to give it to Julie.

"Julie…" Tim pleaded.

Julie skipped off. "Nope Tyra gave this to me for blackmail purposes and when the time is right, I fully intend to use it."

He caught her around the waist, pulling her flush against him as she shimmy around trying to shove the photograph in her back pocket. He bit her hard where her shoulder met her neck.

"OW! YOU FUCKER YOU BIT ME! Now you definitely aren't getting it, or anything else for that matter!"

"You two love birds having fun?" Chibs asked.

"Oops, we didn't hear you guys pull up."

"Obviously." Opie smirked. Since meeting and dating Lyla, Opie had gotten to know Julie and he really liked her. She was sweet, a lot like Donna before club life had hardened her.

After the men had wrestled the couch into Tim's truck and tied it down, it was time for Julie and Tim to leave. Lyla hugged Julie first, tears in both their eyes.

"You know you're always gonna be one of my best friends right, Lyla? Thank you," Julie said.

"Don't make me cry, woman! You call me the minute you get home, you hear me?" Lyla's voice shook.

"You bet." Julie said, watching Tim and Jax saying goodbye. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but she could read the body language...two buddies with a lot of history, neither of whom bore any grudges, both of them equal parts sad and relieved to be saying goodbye.

Opie hugged her next "Take care of my friend or I'll bring Daddy's defensive line to come kick your ass."

"No problem."

Chibs crushed her to him. "Sure will miss your pretty face 'round here lass."

"I'll just miss you , Chibs."

Gemma surprised Julie with a tight hug. "You did my son some good…I like you, kid."

"Thanks Gemma."

Jax pulled her aside, hugging her so tightly she fought not to groan.

"God, this is hard," she whispered into his cut. And it was much more difficult than she's expected. In fact, she never expected to have to say goodbye to him. She thought she could slip out of town without the scene.

"You're beautiful, never change."

"That's a line from St. Elmo's fire ,you do realize that, don't you, Jackson?"

He laughed, kissing her temple. "I'm really gonna miss you… so dawn goes down to day, nothing gold can stay."

"Hey, that's Robert Frost," said Julie.

"You rubbed off a little. I love you, be careful," he said before he let her go.

-/-

8 years later...

Jax secretly, and sometimes not so secretly, kept up with Julie and all her goings on through Lyla, who now worked as the shop secretary. He would often walk into Opie and Lyla's house and find Julie's bylines on the fridge. When he saw the engagement announcement, he froze, eyes landing on the happy couple smiling at him from the news print.

"They're getting married?" he asked, more to himself than Lyla, who was doing dishes.

"Yep, in May. I'll need some time off since I'm a bridesmaid. Try not to look so much like someone punched you."

"She happy?"

"You know, you could ask her for yourself, but yeah she is."

-/-

Opie was attending the wedding with Lyla and Jax and Chibs were riding along. Because of recent trouble with the Mayans, no Son went anywhere outside Charming alone.

Opie and Lyla rode in the car but Jax preferred his bike. He liked the solitude of it. It gave him time to think. He told himself he was long over Julie, but if that was true, why did her marrying Tim sting so much?

He didn't know and it probably wasn't worth thinking about to much. Chibs rode up beside him. Jax didn't really need to be here truth be told he just wanted too. Call him a masochist.

-/-

Chibs and Opie went to the bachelor party and Lyla was napping in the room next to his. Jax rode to down to Tim's land. Tim had showed him the land when he'd come down with Julie. He knew from Chibs that Tim had built his home and Julie had lived in the Airstream with him until it was finished just recently.

The thought of Julie living in a little tin can trailer made him smile. She wasn't as uppity as people thought. He drove up and saw her sitting on the porch swing, with her feet drawn up to her chest. She looked up when she heard his bike. Her hair was shorter and a more golden shade of blonde. She looked startled for a second then smiled. She met him on the porch steps.

"I thought you might come along."

"Don't really know what I'm doing here to be honest."

"Wouldn't be the first time we've done something without know the reason."

He heard the gentle teasing in her voice. "The truth? I just wanted to see you."

She sat on the steps and gestured for him to do the same. "It's certainly not a bad thing seeing you, Jackson. How's life? The club? The boys?"

"Good. Mom says congratulations by the way and she's read all your bylines for that paper out Lubbock…"

"Really?"

"Really. She said she was glad they moved you from the society page to world events."

"I'm covering Darfur next and Tim's ready to have a heart attack."

"You're a big girl you can do it. I believe in you."

She smiled "Somehow I believe you."

"You happy Pixie?"

"Pangs of nostalgia... it's been a long time since anyone's called me Pixie," she grinned at him. "Never been happier in my whole life. You know you really love someone when you live in an Airstream willingly."

"Tim did a good job on the house."

"Hey, I helped! I used to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity, so I tiled the bathroom, painted... you name it I did it," she said, punching him in the arm.

"I stand corrected," he replied, absentmindedly rubbing his arm.

"Sorry, I didn't hurt you, did I?" asked Julie.

An innocuous, almost teasing question, but Jax couldn't help hearing it differently. He thought of their time together and knew that if any hurting had been done, it had been him hurting her.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, his voice dropping to a raspy whisper.

Julie tried to play it off as a joke. "Hurt me, you didn't even touch me? You think you have superpowers now or something, Teller?"

Jax just looked at her, still and serious, until her joking manner fell away. She bit her lip and tried to turn away from him, but he caught her shoulders, then gently took her chin and lifted it so she was looking into his eyes.

Something passed between them, a moment electric and taut, and Jax knew how easy it would be to give in, to lean down and kiss her, to revive all the history that lay between them. But he held steady, knowing that Julie wouldn't cross that line on her own and he didn't want to be the one who led her there.

"Jax, it's water under the bridge. Ancient history that I remember fondly every once in a while after I've had too much to drink and I find a SAMCRO shirt in the bottom of my closet."

He nodded and stepped back. "I'm sorry, for everything. I really wish it had been different between us, but I'm glad you're happy."

He turned and walked away before she could say anything. He started up his bike and gave himself one moment to look back at her. She was standing on the steps, the wind blowing in her hair, looking calm and rooted. He knew this was the place for her and that at least her life was going to be as close to perfect as anyone got.

-/-

Jax watched from a the street as Julie lifted the skirt of her girlish wedding dress and got ready to go into the church. Jax smiled. Of course Julie was barefoot.

The wind was blowing hard, bringing snippets of conversation with it and threatening to mess up Julie's perfectly coifed hair.

"I got your train Aunt Jules," he heard.

"Thank you, Tilly."

"Are you nervous?" The little girl asked.

"Not a bit."

Eric met them, taking her hand.

-/-

Jax slipped into the back of the church. The vows said, the rings exchanged, the bride properly kissed, and they were married. They headed back down the aisle toward him. Tim caught sight of him and pulled him into a hug.

"Hey Man, long time no see," Tim grinned, legitimately delighted to see a long-lost buddy. Leave it to Tim to hold no grudges and not feel awkward at all.

Julie smiled from Tim's side and Jax was glad that he hadn't crossed the line with her when he'd had the chance. She truly was right where she belonged.

Looking back on it, Jax knew it was an odd space in the timeline of his life, but he didn't regret it. He'd come away from it with true friendships, which wasn't a bad thing

AN: I forgot to remove Opie from the updated epilogue but both he and Tara are gone when Part II Picks up. It takes place 3-4 years into the eight year flash forward and will take place between seasons 6-7, We really hope you enjoyed it leave us commentary if you did.


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